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Old 08-27-2014, 11:48 PM
crazedACD crazedACD is offline
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Default Are you assertive?

I'm bored, sorry in advance.

I always like this topic... are you assertive, or are you non-confrontational?

I'm definitely non-confrontational, I absolutely hate having to broach touchy subjects or tell people off. I'm a manager and it is really tough for me to walk up to someone and tell them something negative. I won't send food back if it's wrong. I guess I'm very much a people pleaser and I don't like feeling like I asked a stupid question or that people are thinking badly of me. I don't think I've ever been in a screaming match with anyone, and I definitely let people take advantage of me sometimes because I don't like telling them otherwise. I've gotten a bit better than I used to be though.

I'm way more assertive and a little scrappy on the internet though. I guess because I have time to think over the situation and pick my words.
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Old 08-27-2014, 11:50 PM
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Non-confrontational, totally.

I hate confrontation, especially in real life.
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Old 08-28-2014, 12:10 AM
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There is not an assertive bone in my body.

It's one thing that always gets mentioned in my reviews at work, I'm getting "better" but could still improve apparently, but I just don't have it in me!
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Old 08-28-2014, 01:22 AM
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I'm vere non-confrontational. I can't tell anyone off on anything, or tell someone when I'm mad at them, esp. in real life.
The only problem is, that when someone says something to me, I usually don't say anything. And then once I'm alone, I think about what they say, and I get really angry but of course I can't tell them.
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Old 08-28-2014, 05:18 AM
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I think I always stepped in for my timid mom when I was little so just naturally was assertive.

Food is the one thing I will never confront about though. I am paranoid about spit in my food. I just never ever go back again.

And there is being assertive and just being a jerk. I know when to let things go. I can not stand going out with people who send the food back and are just plain rude to the staff.

I think I am less assertive online. I just don't care lol.
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Old 08-28-2014, 06:19 AM
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No, I'm not. It makes my life rather difficult sometimes because I work in enforcement. Thankfully it's not all my role consists of, but there are some days that I think wtf was I thinking choosing my career. But I do love the other aspects of my job.

I am just so much better at making people happy, than being confronting. Perhaps I should've stayed in customer service. Horses for courses!

There are certain things that I can be assertive about, but it takes a lot of thinking about the situation and trying to come up with the best way to approach it. I'm not quick to jump into a confrontation by any means. Still, it does surprise people when they realise I do have a back bone. Ok, that may be going a bit far, but I'm really easy going. Unless it really matters to me.

I've struggled with this a lot, but now I'm beginning to just accept that I am who I am.
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Old 08-28-2014, 06:35 AM
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I am extremely non-confrontational, but I greatly enjoy critical discussions of touchy issues. Only with people who can rationally do the same of course. I want to be able to ask "but why do you think that?" or question "have you thought of...?" It's why I sometimes pop into a thread and play the devil's advocate for a bit. In my opinion, there's no use in having strong opinions if you haven't thought about how to back them up or why you believe what you do.

I don't like stirring the fire with people who are unable to have a rational discussion. If someone walks away from a discussion feeling shot down or like they "won," that's not the conversation I wanted. Rather, I like discussion where people are continuously thinking critically about their beliefs.

On the flip side, I am very non-confrontational. I like to be agreeable (especially with people that I don't know well or in professional situations) and I would sooner tell a white lie than say something that I think would greatly offend someone. I never yell. When I am upset, I tend to go into shut-down mode rather than on the offensive or defensive.
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Old 08-28-2014, 07:45 AM
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I used to be quite assertive.

Fast-forward six years? My anxiety took over to a point where I'm afraid to confront others about, well, anything. It's a very bad trait to have as a business owner and a skill I've been working on improving.
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Old 08-28-2014, 08:08 AM
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I have what I can best describe as a stutter, which causes anxiety to the point where I don't want to be confrontational for fear of not being able to articulate my point.
Which is why online, I tend to come off much more confrontational than IRL.

The hot button issue that will really make me go off is when people are unfair to my little brother. He's autistic and refuses to stand up for himself. He's also one of the nicest kids I've ever met.
So throughout high school I had been known for being a bit confrontational.



Oh...and for whatever reason, alcohol makes the stutter thing go away. So there are times where I am sort of aggressive
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Old 08-28-2014, 08:26 AM
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Assertive and confrontional when necessary, gentle or non confrontational when necessary.
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