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  #1  
Old 06-23-2006, 10:04 AM
duecitta duecitta is offline
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Angry How can I...

convince my girlfriend to train our puppy correctly?

We've had her since March and she goes through cycles of great housetraining, and wonderful outside potty... and then will revert to going inside, where ever she wants, but occasionally on the piddle pads (to throw us off, I think).

She, her name is Chistery is a Toy Chihuahua, and she is SPOILED but not by my choice. My girlfriend has basically demanded that the dog sleep with us since day 1. She used to be confined (while we were gone) to an area (kitchen or little hallway) by a babygate, but she can climb the gate if its left too loose. So she had been left to her own devices (as she was doing perfectly, potty outside, and inside ON the piddle, EVERY time). But, after a few weeks of this, she has started slacking off, and will go on the rug, no matter what I clean it with. And recently has been a little sick to her tummy (ate something funny in the grass, I think) and threw up in bed, and didn't even bother to move, just threw up on me. TWICE.
I know she's a puppy, but enough is enough. She is getting trained.

We have a crate, and I wanted to (and still want to) crate train her, but my girlfriend gets mad and defensive when I mention it.

I.E- I'll say, lets just put her crate open in the area (with the gate) with the door open so she can explore (the crate) and get used to it, while playing with her toys. Her area consists of the baby gate edge, the crate blocking the bathroom door, a closed bedroom door and a closet door. All in all about 6ft by 4.5ft. She has her water bowl and food bowl and a piddle, there is a blanket in her crate and toys as well.

I would say this is a nice set up, but my girlfriend freaks out and says "Why don't you just slam the door and leave her in there all day and night", "See if I care!". Its basically BS.

I have read up on what to do and I'm willing to take the time to make Chissy the great dog I know she can be. Any tips on getting this 2.5lb meatloaf out of my bed, without having to break it off with the GF? Or just a good way to open her eyes? This is driving me crazy!

I love this dog, but I know she is a DOG. Ugh. My girlfriend has let her get away with murder and there are no corrections for her actions. She just gets away with it all! (So mad!) And she has SUPER terrible anxiety when we leave, its so pitiful.

This is the same fight we have about letting her on the couch... even though she has been known to go there too... not to mention she doesn't let me know she has to go out, she'll just go in front of me like "Haha, you didn't take me out fast enough!" (when I wake up at 8 and take her out at 8:10).

Thanks in advance!
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  #2  
Old 06-23-2006, 02:00 PM
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Roo92 Roo92 is offline
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I think you may be headed for trouble unless you start making some rules and boundaries for this dog. Dogs that go without any training have the potential to end up with behavior problems; some can even be very serious like aggression. Not to alarm you but if the dog is not given boundaries it may think it can do what it wants (including biting someone) Which is not the dog's fault but yours for not training it-You love your dog, so you train your dog so that your dog won't develop behavior problems that could be so bad you feel that you have to give the dog up or worse the dog bites a child and has to be put down. You have a crate and that's a great training tool-for housebreaking, and to keep the dog safe while your not home. The crate is not mean as some people may think-the dogs usually like it because they feel a sense of security with it. My two will go in their crates if I leave the doors open and sleep in them even when I'm home. You can add things like a pillow and a blanket and make it a very comfortable space. When I'm gone I crate them because then I don't have to worry about what they could get into and end up eating or choking on or what they are destroying. It's a matter of safety for me; I know that while I'm gone they can't get into trouble or harm. The crate also is great for housebreaking-usually the dogs don't like to go to the bathroom in small confined spaces. So as soon as they come out of the crate you take them right outside and they learn to go to the bathroom outside and not on your rug. I'm glad you want to train the dog and I think that you need to let your girlfriend know that you want to train the dog because you love it. I don't want to sound mean but having a dog and giving it no limits is not being a very responsible pet owner. I wish you luck with your dog and your girlfriend and I really hope things work out.
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:10 PM
duecitta duecitta is offline
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Red face Thank you

Now come here and tell her that!

My thought process is that Chissy has SUPER bad anxiety when we leave, would feel better if she had her crate, and would in the end be more independent and wouldn't get so freaked when we leave. And from there she would have a better life and feel less stress.

The girlfriend thinks I'm nuts and that our dog should just sleep with us because she will be stressed without us. (I for one, will not be stressed).

She weighs 2.5lbs. She has never even barked at a stranger and she loves children. She gets tons of socialization with dogs and kids, men and women and she has a cat who is clearly hers. She has never even bitten me playing and doesn't chew or destroy anything (has never). I just hope that I can start crate training her to sleep alone... it will be SO nice! Thanks!
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Old 06-23-2006, 02:10 PM
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Roxy's CD Roxy's CD is offline
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I admit I did not read the above post I have trouble reading posts that aren't in paragraphs.

It's the classic: Parenting issue. Same as kid, there's always the parent that's much to lenient and therefore the rules that should be abided by aren't.

YOu need to explain to your girlfriend that by limiting his access to areas of the house your not making his life horrible! It may seems as though it's the end of the world for him, but once he gets used to these rules he will gladly abide by them.

There was a man in my class with a Bichon. He was earnest in getting the animal trained and obedient. The wife was more intent on babying the animal and spoiling it to death. One day he came to class and said that the animal had growled at him when he tried to get in the night before. He told the dog to "be quiet". Than went to get into bed, the dog nipped him. Now he did admit to whipping the dog off the bed, but minutes later the dog was back on the bed. The man awoke in the middle of the night to the dog peeing on him.

I just went through a dominance issue with Roxy, I thought Roxy would know that the reason she had a place on the couch was because I loved her, not because she was the alpha. BUT IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! If you treat an animal like the alpha, allowing it in your bed on your furniture at it's own will, that it's going to believe that it's alpha. And than you will run into trouble.

You need to explain to your girlfriend that dogs are pack animals. Now this doesn't mean that she can't baby him or cuddle him. It means that there are some things you need to be firm about.

Next time the animal pees on the carpet make your GIRLFRIEND clean it up. Everytime, SHE can clean it up. I'm sure she'll get sick of cleaning it up and work WITH you to housetrain your pet.

Go out and get your pup a doggy bed. The one I have was $60 but very comfy. Show her how comfy the bed is. That is HER bed. She'll eventually rather be in her own bed than yours.

PEEING ON THE FURNITURE?!?!?! And your girlfriend doesn't realize the beast she's creating???? You really need to sit her down and talk to her about GOING TOO FAR! My guys are extremely spoiled. They are allowed on the couch when invited. They are allowed on the bed inthe mornings for a few minutes to greet us. They have their own, comfy doggy beds. They get hugged and cuddled and loved everyday. But there are some things you cannot compromise.

Tell your girlfriend that by continuing to treat her "baby" like this, next time she goes to get into the bed if she gets nipped/growled at she deserves it. You can't expect the dog to behave submissively sometimes but get treated like alpha all the time.

I feel very sorry for you. Raising this pup if your girlfriend does not change her mind is going to be very difficult. Possibly heartbreaking if he bites someone and you have to get rid of her.
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  #5  
Old 06-23-2006, 02:29 PM
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JennSLK JennSLK is offline
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Quote:
and threw up in bed, and didn't even bother to move, just threw up on me. TWICE.
Not te dog's fault for being sick to her tummy. The do NOT think like us and think oh I should go puke in the toilet so I dont make a mess.


What Roxy Said. You need to be the Alpha not the dog. You are creating a poentally bad situation
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  #6  
Old 06-23-2006, 02:38 PM
duecitta duecitta is offline
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It is sad just thinking about it. You guys must think I'm terrible. But she honestly thinks I'm a mad woman when I say that Chistery should be in her crate. She is loved and cared for and vetted and fed and walked and taken outside I promise.

I just wish that I could get her to see, my friend who is a vet tech is going to talk to her about pretty much the same things that you guy said this weekend; so maybe she'll listen! Thanks!
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Old 06-23-2006, 03:01 PM
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Oh, no I don't think your terrible!!

I was in the same position as you a few months ago. I was Attila the Hun and my bf was the lovely, kind nice parent.

Our problem was also the crate. Hades used to be disastrous. I proposed to crate him every time we went out. My bf opposed. So what happened? Everytime we came home and there was a huge mess, HE had to clean it up? WHy.? "I told you so". LOL. Than we crated Hades. It was must less stressful to come home and know that there wouldn't be a mess. We let him out of his crate, he was soo happy to see us, he'd go for his pee everythiing was good. We leave him out of the crate now and he has learned that it's a privledge to roam free.

I've been through it. I sat down my bf after every lesson and explained to him what I had just learned. Why are the dogs not allowed in the bed? Why are the dog not allowed to be in our bedroom when we're not home? His answer would always be, "But their our kids! That's just not right. No way. I won't do that." But after a couple first hand examples of Roxy's very dominante/aggressive behaviour his attitude has changed. We now both follow the same guidlines and our dogs are not less happy because of it.

We are BOTH good leaders now, and the dogs respect us for that.

But believe me, it wasn't easy to convince my bf that our dogs acted like DOGS. They don't understand the way people do so we can act like they do.

I'm sorry if you thought I was harsh in my previous post. I should've explained my personal experience. I just know that the outcome of one "parent" trying to get the animals to abide by rules while the other is much to leninent is NOT good. As well as a safety issue for anyone that's around the dog.
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