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  #81  
Old 06-17-2014, 04:13 PM
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Beanie Beanie is offline
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For me, when I was in school, my best friend was a female... but nearly all my other friends were male. After I left school, I had fewer and fewer female friends. Best friends became men. Right now, most of my friends are male - funny enough, the few female friends I have are other women with mostly male friends. I think the same thing that causes us to have primarily male friends also drives us together. Because sometimes you really want a FEMALE friend, not a male friend.

It's not because of my interests. I love makeup. Hair and fashion fascinate me. Pink is my favorite color. Yes, I like sports (a lot) and video games and cars and comic books. But that's not it.
It's because of my personality. How I relate to other people, how I interact with other people.

Let's put it this way: over the course of my life I have had three different gay men tell me they inexplicably find themselves attracted to me even though they absolutely don't want to have sex with a woman. I am apparently THAT MUCH like a guy that even gay men are attracted to my personality.
(Which is, by the way, not a flattering thing to hear.)

When you are "one of the guys" they don't see you as a dating option. Are you somebody they would sleep with? Of course, because men will pretty much sleep with any woman. But you aren't dating material. Because you're a bro. And also at the same time NO OTHER MAN is good enough for you either. So they hate every guy you ever date, but they won't date you either. And meanwhile girls hate you because in their minds you're friends with primarily men as a ploy to get more men to sleep with you.

Yep.
It's awesome.
Definitely something to brag about.
And feel superior about.
Got a big f***in' ego about it.
Might as well have a dick.
At least if I did I could date one of those gay men apparently.
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  #82  
Old 06-17-2014, 04:16 PM
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Also, want to be clear in that yes, some people just naturally have more male friends for whatever reason. My comments were more when I hear people saying they have nothing in common with females...or that they are not "girly" enough to have female friends...it just confuses me when that is mentioned.

Personally I have gone up and down in my life with regards to male to female ratio of friends.
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  #83  
Old 06-17-2014, 04:55 PM
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I think the different treatment comes in very distinct circumstances....before you get to know someone situation or in split second judgments. I do think once personality comes into play, people get to know each other, interactions take place etc yes, that is what actually matters.

I really hate the whole idea of being presentable or put together, or lazy, or not caring about yourself, etc. Am I not caring about myself if I am out in the garden all day so a sweaty and dirty mess in old clothes, when I need a quick trip to the store and my priority is NOT to waste time taking a shower and cleaning up first because its silly? Is someone caring TOO much about themselves because they do? Its all just really ridiculous....
Maybe you still care about yourself, but you don't care enough about how you look to get cleaned up first. I think it's about a person's priorities--if I were dirty from working out in the barn and didn't feel like cleaning up to go to the store (this had happened more times than I can count by the way), it would be because I just didn't care enough about how I looked on that occasion to make cleaning up a priority. My mom, on the other hand, would not be caught dead going to the store makeup less and dirty. She cares enough about how she looks in public that she would clean up first--being "presentable" out in public is a priority for her.

Truthfully, everyone judges to a certain extent, and it's not always a bad thing either. I walk alone at night a lot, and if I see a man-any man-I cross the street to walk on the opposite side of the road. If there is a large group of men I might avoid that block altogether. That is absolutely judgmental-I'm judging them as potential threats based on their gender. I'm sure 99% of them are decent people, but I really don't care. I'd rather be judgy than dead.

Honestly, I tend to judge the clothes people are wearing (as in whether I like or dislike the articles of clothing), but not so much the people that are wearing them.....except to maybe question their decision making skills when they got up that morning and decided to put on their bedazzled hot pink Crocs for a trip to the mall.

Truthfully, the older I get the less I care about how strangers feel about how I look. If I like something, think it looks acceptable on me, and is appropriate for activity I'm doing that day I wear it, and it some random person wants to decide that I'm a certain kind of person based on my clothes I'm not going to lose much sleep over it.
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  #84  
Old 06-17-2014, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by sillysally View Post
Maybe you still care about yourself, but you don't care enough about how you look to get cleaned up first. I think it's about a person's priorities--if I were dirty from working out in the barn and didn't feel like cleaning up to go to the store (this had happened more times than I can count by the way), it would be because I just didn't care enough about how I looked on that occasion to make cleaning up a priority. My mom, on the other hand, would not be caught dead going to the store makeup less and dirty. She cares enough about how she looks in public that she would clean up first--being "presentable" out in public is a priority for her.

.
Well and I guess that was kind of my point...neither one is wrong nor actually says anything about who the person really is, you know?

Yes, every one judges a bit...the key IMO is to investigate those judgments and work on why they exist and trying to change them.
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  #85  
Old 06-17-2014, 05:09 PM
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I'm still patiently waiting for this to get to the swimsuit portion of judging

But to me, there's a difference between I've been working so hard i smell and am dirty, and, I haven't showered in 3 days and am still wearing my PJ's that i've watched 5 movies in during those past 3 days and the only reason i've gotten up is to have a smoke and now i'm out so i'm running to the store, type looks. and I judge accordingly
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  #86  
Old 06-17-2014, 05:17 PM
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Are you somebody they would sleep with? Of course, because men will pretty much sleep with any woman.
I think this is a little rude. I'm sure there are some men like that just like there are some women like that, but my male friends aren't going to just "sleep with any woman" any more than you want to sleep with "just any man". Women don't want to be lumped together, and we shouldn't lump men together either.

I only had girl friends until after high school, because I was afraid of boys. Boys were always mean to me (and growing up with an emotionally abusive father didn't help either) and so I stayed away from them. But in the last several years I've made some awesome guy friends (two of which I work with) and these positive experiences have pretty much erased what fears I used to have.
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  #87  
Old 06-17-2014, 05:31 PM
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I just asked DH if there were any female friend he would NOT sleep with if he were single and she was willing, and his response was, "I would like to think that at my my age I would have some standards, but for the most part I would say no." Lol--I don't know that could be applied to every man ever though...
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Sally--8 yr old pit bull mix
Jack--6 yr old Labrador
Sadie & Runt--12 yr old calico DSHs
Pickles & Kiwi--3 yr old white winged parakeets
Yoda--1 yr old Quaker parrot
Solo--12 yr old Senegal parrot
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  #88  
Old 06-17-2014, 05:40 PM
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Well, I'm a single bisexual girl and I see people I find attractive and I think "yeah I'd tap that." on a purely physical level. But factor in personalities and such, would I REALLY "tap that" given the chance? No. I bet a lot of people (men included) are like that.
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  #89  
Old 06-17-2014, 05:45 PM
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sillysally sillysally is offline
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I'd like to amend me previous statement about not making judgments on a person themselves based on their clothes. If you are wearing Green Bay Packers attire, I will judge you as a person, and the judgement will be swift and merciless....
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~Christina--Mom to:
Sally--8 yr old pit bull mix
Jack--6 yr old Labrador
Sadie & Runt--12 yr old calico DSHs
Pickles & Kiwi--3 yr old white winged parakeets
Yoda--1 yr old Quaker parrot
Solo--12 yr old Senegal parrot
Sheena--Quarter Horse--3/24/86-6/23/11--Rest Easy Sweet Girl~




Labs do it in the lake.


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  #90  
Old 06-17-2014, 05:51 PM
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I'd like to amend me previous statement about not making judgments on a person themselves based on their clothes. If you are wearing Green Bay Packers attire, I will judge you as a person, and the judgement will be swift and merciless....
Absolutely! If you wear Bruins attire... We can 't be friends.
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