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  #31  
Old 06-16-2014, 11:29 AM
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Interesting conversation, considering we're on the internet where our definition of "Beauty" and "Ugliness" is pretty much based on our words? With that in mind, re-read the thread. What mental images are popping into your heads?
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  #32  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Laurelin View Post
When I lost 50 lbs YES there was a difference in how well I was treated. It is very obvious if you go from 'ugly' to 'attractive' (or at least more attractive). People help you a lot more, pay more attention to you, and are generally just more friendly. It's strange because I was the same person but yes, there's a distinct difference.

It's not that I'm treated badly now but there is a difference...
I wonder though, do you feel more confident or outgoing after weight loss?

The reason I ask is that people always talk to me, I talk to everyone. People help out, people listen, and typically are really friendly. And I am down right fat. I wonder how much of it is other people, and how much of it is how we present ourselves.

Pretty people know they are pretty and fat people tend to assume they are unattractive. Do we use that? I am sure a good portion is the other person, but I also think a good portion is how we interact with others based on how we feel about ourselves.
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  #33  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:08 PM
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I have to agree that humans in general are VERY judgmental. What I don't agree with is that it's as simple as beauty vs ugly. I know we're all spoon fed what we're supposed to see as beauty via the media, but if you really think about it, deep down it's just not that easy. There was a study done some time ago that showed facial symmetry played into our subconscious definition of beauty. But each of us also judges using our personal experience. It doesn't matter how attractive a man is, if he reminds you of your first boyfriend who cheated on you with your best friend, you will probably judge the attractive man a little less kindly. I certainly wouldn't let him cut in line.

But back to the original question. Yes, beautiful people get noticed first. I might think about that if my car breaks down in the desert next to a supermodel's. But in my world we worry more about superficial vs depth. I'd fix my car and give her a ride. Sometimes we just think too much.

I mean really, this from a person who finds a man baby-talking a dog HUGELY attractive, in a platonic way. I'd even look past one of those odd under-chin beards.
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  #34  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:09 PM
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First, average looking? AS IF. You're a babe.
I just came to say this. I've seen pictures of at least half the people in this thread who are grading their appearances, and there are a few of you who are just dead wrong.

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This thread makes me sad. Women need to chill and just embrace each other.
This. A hug for everyone?
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  #35  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:17 PM
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People are nicer to me because I'm cute. I'm not a knockout or anything, but I'm pretty. My first job was retail, and they weren't hiring, but I went in and talked to the manager and got hired. I got into my master's program with grades that just barely, barely made the cut. Strangers smile at me and say hi and are kind to the point where I'm surprised when someone doesn't. I understand that's not how it works for everyone, and it sucks.

I also don't think what someone wears has any bearing on their worth as a person.

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I'm an average looking girl and I feel that I'm treated very kindly by strangers, never any worse than my attractive friends.
Nooo you're so wrong. You're insanely pretty, way good looking.
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  #36  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
I wonder though, do you feel more confident or outgoing after weight loss?

The reason I ask is that people always talk to me, I talk to everyone. People help out, people listen, and typically are really friendly. And I am down right fat. I wonder how much of it is other people, and how much of it is how we present ourselves.

Pretty people know they are pretty and fat people tend to assume they are unattractive. Do we use that? I am sure a good portion is the other person, but I also think a good portion is how we interact with others based on how we feel about ourselves.
I can sort of speak on both ends a bit I think.... I was never super thin or anything but in highschool etc was at a proper weight even though I always thought I was huge. In hindsight I realize a difference in treatment. Then several years back I lost about 50 lbs and while I still was overweight it was not that much and I felt a hundred times better which also did affect my interactions with others. I have gained most of that back and yes it shows in my confidence and interactions. SO I think it is a bit of both...if you feel really confident and secure it shows BUT when you are good looking or at least average or whatever insecurity is not as much of an issue in how others perceive you in quick interactions if that makes sense?
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  #37  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:19 PM
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I'm a pretty girl... or woman I guess. I'm older than most here, so I guess I'm doing well for being 30. You know what I find makes the biggest impact on how people treat me? Whether I have a smile on my face or not.

We definitely react to people based on their appearance, but that appearance consists of their physical features, their body language and their overall behaviour.
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  #38  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Sekah View Post

We definitely react to people based on their appearance, but that appearance consists of their physical features, their body language and their overall behaviour.
I do agree with this...BUT in snap decisions and judgments yes, a pretty person is forgiven a LOT more. If you take a really pretty younger woman, throw her hair in a sloppy bun, put her in wrinkled sweats and have her walk around people are going to look at her and think much differently than if they saw an older weight average or below looking woman in the same outfit in most situations I think.

Same as if you take a good looking person and have them cause a scene....being a difficult customer or being a bitch to someone...the adjectives most would use to describe the same situation with a different person would likely be very different
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  #39  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
I wonder though, do you feel more confident or outgoing after weight loss?

The reason I ask is that people always talk to me, I talk to everyone. People help out, people listen, and typically are really friendly. And I am down right fat. I wonder how much of it is other people, and how much of it is how we present ourselves.

Pretty people know they are pretty and fat people tend to assume they are unattractive. Do we use that? I am sure a good portion is the other person, but I also think a good portion is how we interact with others based on how we feel about ourselves.
Not really. If anything I am more confident now (weighing more) than then.

People are generally really friendly to me and have been... I'm a pretty non threatening person who tends to be smiley and easy going. I get people talking to me a lot.

But there is a difference in the way I was treated and how many people would go out of their way to be nice to me or something like that.... It's hard to put into words. I would not have noticed it unless I had lost the weight because I generally thought people were friendly beforehand (and they generally were). I can only remember one time in my life where a stranger called me a name for no reason and it was in high school so I think it was probably a douche being a douche.

What you wear also makes a huge difference too. And makeup and all that. I do think it goes both ways as far as confidence affecting your interactions but I don't think the studies and WWYD are wrong in showing that what you look like does GREATLY affect the way you're treated. And that's not just pretty vs unpretty but a 1000 different factors that people judge based on.

And I know I put this on the venting thread but my sister is in a wheelchair at the moment and omg the difference in the way you get treated in a wheelchair is amazing to me too.
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  #40  
Old 06-16-2014, 12:33 PM
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And yes, I definitely know that I'm treated differently based on my looks, sex, age, etc. Like in how I went to get on the bus one day, and my pass for whatever reason wasn't working, the guy driving just smiled, said it was no problem, and waved me on. A guy and an older woman both had the same issue, and he made them stay there, reset the processing machine, and made them pay.

Another example, I was at the subway (what is with me and public transportation??? ahaha) and forgot my pass, it's more expensive to pay for a ticket, and I only had the exact amount. I went up to one of the security people working there and explained my problem, and they let me in for free. If I looked different, that wouldn't have happened. And yeah, for all I know they had different reasons because I'm not inside their heads, but I definitely feel my 'pretty, young girl' privilege. A lot.

And Equinox, for goodness' sake, no. Just no. LOL.
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