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  #61  
Old 09-20-2013, 11:34 AM
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I'm not saying the feelings are wrong or not understandable. And honestly couples have this exact conflict every day across the world about everything from how to fold the towels to how to clean the bathroom or load the dishwasher, it's not just about babies.
Matt sneaks into the kitchen and rearranges the way I load glasses in the dishwasher.
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  #62  
Old 09-20-2013, 11:42 AM
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Matt sneaks into the kitchen and rearranges the way I load glasses in the dishwasher.
I did this so often that now DH just tells me outright that he's not loading the dishwasher because I do it better. LOL Sometimes it's allll about reframing the issue.
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  #63  
Old 09-20-2013, 12:13 PM
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Matt sneaks into the kitchen and rearranges the way I load glasses in the dishwasher.
My mom could be an international dishwasher-loading champion. So I grew up with some... deeply ingrained ideas about how to load one. But at some point cleaning the kitchen became primarily my husband's job and I just had to learn to not care how he loaded it anymore.*

Partially because with two adults it truly doesn't make a difference in how often it gets run if it isn't Tetris'd to perfection. But mostly because I'm lazy enough that I feel there's no point in having it be his job if I was just going to do it anyway.


*He's actually pretty good at filling it, but he'll do things like... fill up the bottom but then not run it because the top isn't full, even though we have no plates to eat off of. Just run it, man. If it pains you that it isn't full, throw a couple Kongs or a dog bowl in there, but just run it.
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  #64  
Old 09-20-2013, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by sassafras View Post
I'm not saying the feelings are wrong or not understandable. And honestly couples have this exact conflict every day across the world about everything from how to fold the towels to how to clean the bathroom or load the dishwasher, it's not just about babies.

Just... sometimes you have to SHOW people that you have confidence in them (by holding your tongue sometimes or acknowledging that your emotions/fears are overshadowing your logical brain when you say things in a moment or by accepting that it really doesn't matter if one more dish might have fit if only things had been arranged thusly) instead of TELLING them you have confidence in them during a conversation and then expecting them to really feel that way later when you do something that sends a message that you aren't.
Oh totally agree! That's what I meant by finding the balance. Even those the hormones are surging one can think through it logically if enough attention is given.

And yes, it's not just about babies in any way shape or form. Just for me that was the hardest challenge (and still is) o bit my tongue on.

DH and I fought over lots of little things when we first moved in. I do things one way, him another. Takes compromise for sure.
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  #65  
Old 09-20-2013, 12:20 PM
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Oh how I long for a dishwasher. Ooooh....

I hate doing the dishes. Hate hate hate. Luckily this isn't a source for arguments, because life is all about compromise, and so he does them usually. Even if he cooks. I like that kind of compromise Plus I have terrible stacking skills, and he's all logically minded and stacks them with precision.
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  #66  
Old 09-20-2013, 12:31 PM
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Oh how I long for a dishwasher. Ooooh....

I hate doing the dishes. Hate hate hate. Luckily this isn't a source for arguments, because life is all about compromise, and so he does them usually. Even if he cooks. I like that kind of compromise Plus I have terrible stacking skills, and he's all logically minded and stacks them with precision.
Ours is broken it won't drain out the water for some reason. So now we are back to hand washing, which is how I grew up. But nothing like getting a dishwasher ... Then not having one again to make one realize just how nice it is to have one :/
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:53 PM
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I wish we had a dishwasher *sigh*

No space in our kitchen for that until we remodel it... no money for the kitchen remodel until who knows when...
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  #68  
Old 09-20-2013, 12:57 PM
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I wish we had a dishwasher *sigh*

No space in our kitchen for that until we remodel it... no money for the kitchen remodel until who knows when...
Mostly this!!

I can't wait till we renovate the house. Which will be..... Who knows?!?!??? We should be getting a log burner in before the start of winter though.... Hopefully....
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  #69  
Old 09-20-2013, 04:38 PM
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We just got a new dishwasher after our last one konked out on us. But it's laid out completely different from our old one so now we basically have to RELEARN how to load the dishwasher lol. We look like a couple of cavemen discovering fire lol
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  #70  
Old 09-20-2013, 08:39 PM
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I didn't know loading the dishwasher was such a science, lol. I just stick the dishes in.

Actually, my mom thinks silverware only gets clean if it's handle down (false). So if I put it handle up, she flips it over. I didn't know other people were so particular about dishwasher loading.

And FYI if anyone cares - I apologized to him for telling him what to do with Lillian. He said he was sorry for being over dramatic about it. Hopefully I can actually stop saying every comment that pops into my head.
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