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Old 07-07-2013, 10:05 PM
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AdrianneIsabel AdrianneIsabel is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Default Thank you

I need to write a thank you, but thank you doesn't seem to be enough. When I first received that haunting phone call, the man who's always smiles and snark, the man I have never seen cry, was almost speechless with tears. I barely heard the words, he could barely tell me anything. I left work immediately, my poor boss and client left in my dust. I had to pull over several times in a battle of racing the clock and realizing I genuinely couldn't drive through the panic. My baby boy was dead. I called my parents, some attempt to calm me. Breathing was difficult but the one thing remained, he couldn't be dead. He couldn't. Denis must have misunderstood, I would get home and we would fix this, together. But, I got home and my worst, even that seems like a weak word, nightmare was present. When home Denis met me at the door but there were no sounds, Backup and Arnold were always noisy, they rejoiced in homecomings with barks, tap dancing, thumping wags, and even howls if you were lucky. I rushed to the bathroom, convinced that I could do something, I could help him but Backup was dead, cold and stiff, Denis had drained the filthy water but there was no way to save him. Still though I kept telling myself he would be okay, I kept seeing him breath, those beautifully wild eyes would come to life as if to say, fooled ya, let's play! He was only three, we had just finished our long hard road to the CD, we had our BH, our IPO1, our CDX, and agility waiting on us. He couldn't be gone, my partner, my constant who was going to help me through it when Arnold went. Thats when I realized I wasn't just losing one but both of my boys that night. Arnold had been damaged beyond repair and I was forced to let him go. Denis and I sat in this horrible little room, although I doubt I would like any room, and let my best friend go, the one who started it all and taught me more about dogs than any other dog has even attempted. I saw a woman leave the vet with her dog and I hated her, a cruel and useless emotion but I couldn't fathom why she got to keep her partner and I lost both of mine.

So here is where I say thank you. I came home and found myself broken, never to be the same again. We did everything right and nothing at all, we failed and we lost our sweet, silly boys. The clowns of our family. I didn't know how to love or laugh anymore but little by little my friends, you guys, are teaching me. The amazing gestures brought forth, honoring the memory of my boys and their gifts that they gave us all is breathtaking. What you have given us is the ability to move on, to honor our boys memory. We are dealing with a destroyed bathroom, stained and damaged walls, broken doors, water damage, and ruined floors. These are just things but these are constant reminders of the terrible end to two amazing lives. I want to remember them for the way they were, not the way they left us. For this, and every single one of the private messages and more, I cannot thank you enough. You're helping us in more ways than you know how, you're giving us hope and a reason to continue.

I hope someday I can give back to each and everyone of you the way you've even to us, until then Thank you.
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Sloan von Krigbaum IPO1 CGC BH CD NA NJ PD MJ-N RATI RATN 3/7/10 -
Shamoo NJ-N RATI RATN 3/1/98 -
Phelan du Loups du Soleil CGC RATI 6/15/13 -
Chili Brigades Brover 5/23/14 -

Arnold CGC TDI FD 6/29/04 - 07/05/13
Backup CGC HIC CD SRD SJ-N RATI 12/29/09 - 07/05/13

You were amazing, we did amazing things.


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  #2  
Old 07-07-2013, 10:18 PM
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Laurelin Laurelin is offline
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Oh Adrianne, I wish I had some words for you that could make it at least a tiny bit better. I've been in tears thinking of you all this weekend. I can't imagine coming home to that and losing both my dogs. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

They were both awesome dogs and so very well loved on here. I'm so glad we got to share in some of their adventures.
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  #3  
Old 07-07-2013, 10:19 PM
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skittledoo skittledoo is offline
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Location: Northern Virginia
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((Hugs)) I know I have said I'm so sorry multiple times, but words just aren't adequate for how I feel for both you and Denis right now. I've been off and on in tears since yesterday, tears for two dogs I have never even met. You have touched my heart over the years with your countless tales of your dogs. I especially loved Backup stories because lemur. A few people at my work were familiar with Backup too because I'd browse my phone at work and giggle and have to share with them silly stories and photos you posted of him on Facebook.

I really wish I could have given more to your fundraiser than I was able to. It just didn't feel like I was doing enough. I really wish I could do more.

I have to say I especially love the recent photo you posted of Sloan carrying the toy on her walk the way Backup used to. I was seriously touched by that photo.

May you find some peace eventually knowing that the boys are running free across the rainbow bridge and having the time of their lives. Doggy heaven just welcomed two amazing boys.
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Old 07-07-2013, 10:21 PM
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JennSLK JennSLK is offline
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Nothing we say will make things better, but we are all here for you. I just wanted to share a quote that reminds me of Emma and I hope it reminds you of Backup.

Lord knows there are dogs that are only in people's lives for a short time and teach many lessons during their brief stay. Thank you, allways, for those lessons.
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Old 07-07-2013, 10:34 PM
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RD RD is offline
Are you dead yet?
 
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Adrianne, I wish I was able to offer the right words to make everything seem less horrible. Or I wish I could bring you, Denis and the girls some dinner. And some wine. Or something.

This ****ing sucks.
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Old 07-07-2013, 10:36 PM
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Muttkip Muttkip is offline
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Location: Jefferson, Ga
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I've been at a lost for words these last two days, you've been on my mind constantly and I can't help but break down crying almost every two seconds not only for your loss, but the loss of two amazing dogs in the dog community.

I loved Backup from the moment you brought him home and I loved Arnold from the time I got to know you on PBF. I've watched Backup grow up and Arnold mature into a wise old dog that had an amazing soul and to know we'll never see them again is heartbreaking.

I'm sorry for your loss and having to live every dog owner's nightmare, it's not fair it had to be you of all people, you are one of the best dog owners I've EVER known. I love seeing your pictures, hearing your stories. Backup stories ALWAYS brightened my day no matter what and he was hands down my favorite dog of all time besides my own. There was just something about him.

We'll all miss them and I'll hug my dogs tight tonight again. I'm sorry about the loss of these two amazing dogs. But rest assured you're not alone, a whole community is suffering and grieving with you and we're here for you no matter what. Always!

Hugs to you, Dennis, and the girls

We love you.

Godspeed Backup and Arnold.
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  #7  
Old 07-07-2013, 11:36 PM
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Miakoda Miakoda is offline
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I had all these words, but then they left me. I do not know you personally, nor have I ever met any of your amazing dogs. But all I want right now is to offer a shoulder to cry on and arms to give you a hug. I wish I could be there to clean up the hell you should not have to deal with.

I have watched your dogs grow up via these online forums. I could always count on their pictures to bring a smile to my face, especially when my skies were grey.

It's not fair. It's not and it will never be. I learned a long time ago to stop looking for answers to questions where there are none. Easier said than done, especially when the heart is involved. Life just isn't fair.
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  #8  
Old 07-07-2013, 11:41 PM
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ThoseWordsAtBest ThoseWordsAtBest is offline
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Giving back was sharing stories and pictures of the boys with those of us who couldn't meet them. I've been showing my boyfriend photos of your dogs all along, and telling him how if he thinks Shambles is a crazy time we could always get a Backup. I feel like they would have made great hijinks partners.

Definitely no good words to say. We've talked a lot about what happened to you guys over this weekend with our full house and rotation system. There is no greater nightmare. I'm just indefinitely sorry this happened.
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  #9  
Old 07-07-2013, 11:43 PM
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AllieMackie AllieMackie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miakoda View Post
I had all these words, but then they left me. I do not know you personally, nor have I ever met any of your amazing dogs. But all I want right now is to offer a shoulder to cry on and arms to give you a hug. I wish I could be there to clean up the hell you should not have to deal with.

I have watched your dogs grow up via these online forums. I could always count on their pictures to bring a smile to my face, especially when my skies were grey.

It's not fair. It's not and it will never be. I learned a long time ago to stop looking for answers to questions where there are none. Easier said than done, especially when the heart is involved. Life just isn't fair.
More eloquent than I could have made it. Well said Miakoda.

Adrianne, your post made me well up with tears all over again. There's been an incredible outpouring of support in light of this awful tragedy, and I'm so glad it's giving you a glimmer of hope and reason in such a difficult time.

All of us are thinking of you. You guys have been on my mind ever since I heard the news.
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  #10  
Old 07-07-2013, 11:50 PM
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sillysally sillysally is offline
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I wish desperately that there was something I could say to lessen the pain you guys are going through. Know that my inbox is always open if you need anything, or just to talk. Both of your boys were so fantastic and special--thank you so much for sharing them with us over the years. (((((HUGS)))))
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