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Old 05-13-2013, 01:33 PM
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Default Beliefs and friendship

I am pretty opinionated when it comes to things like marriage equality, abortion, religion, legalization, etc. I'm very socially liberal (Libertarian), but many of my friends I am starting to learn are not. At what point do political/social beliefs get in the way of a friendship? Can you be friends with someone who has radically different beliefs than you and is very vocal about it? How do you deal with friendships like that, when it seems that all they talk about is religion, or politics?

Have you ever ended a friendship over beliefs or political affiliation?

Does this post have too many questions?
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Old 05-13-2013, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by OwnedByBCs View Post
At what point do political/social beliefs get in the way of a friendship? Can you be friends with someone who has radically different beliefs than you and is very vocal about it? How do you deal with friendships like that, when it seems that all they talk about is religion, or politics?

Have you ever ended a friendship over beliefs or political affiliation?

Does this post have too many questions?
Political/social beliefs get in the way of a friendship when one party has a complete inability to understand the other party's point of view, even if they disagree with it, or refuse to accept the other's opinion. Basically, when one person becomes disrespectful to the other's beliefs.

I have some radically different beliefs from quite a few of my friends, but I'm not sure I'd say any of us are particularly vocal about it. I wouldn't be friends with anyone who strictly talked about religion or politics. A lot of my friends with very different views will post constantly on FB with their opinions...but that's facebook, so who cares. An occasional comment or discussion about major issues is fine, but incessantly talking about it or being disrespectful OR trying to change someone's views is annoying.

I've never ended a friendship over politics, religion, etc...but I also think most highly opinionated people make it very clear from the beginning what their views are, and I don't tend to make friends who can't change the subject from their radical views.
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Old 05-13-2013, 02:12 PM
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Hmmm. I have had very good friendships with lots of different people of varying beliefs and lifestyles. There does not have to be approval from each party towards the other's lifestyle but there needs to be respect. If both people can show the other respect then I don't see why that wouldn't work. That said some people just aren't mature enough and feel the need to constantly make things a problem. I have not ended friendships but I have avoided getting into a deeper friendship with some people who seem to feel the need to be confrontational about how wrong X group is constantly.
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Old 05-13-2013, 02:14 PM
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My friends and I rarely talk about religion and politics. We all have beliefs, some very strong, but we tend to not need to debate with one another.

We like to talk about our lives, things we have been up to. Etc. We socialise.
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Old 05-13-2013, 03:07 PM
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My friends and I rarely talk about religion and politics. We all have beliefs, some very strong, but we tend to not need to debate with one another.

We like to talk about our lives, things we have been up to. Etc. We socialise.
This.
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Old 05-13-2013, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
My friends and I rarely talk about religion and politics. We all have beliefs, some very strong, but we tend to not need to debate with one another.

We like to talk about our lives, things we have been up to. Etc. We socialise.
This.

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Old 05-13-2013, 03:18 PM
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I am pretty much the opposite of most of my friends and coworkers politically. It's something I'm fully aware of, and most of them are as well. I mostly don't care one way or the other, because they are people who do truly research and understand the issues and just have a different take on them. I have zero issues with someone who actually knows what they are talking about but believes the opposite of me.

I have some friends with whom I can have fun, interesting, and occasionally eye-opening debates. I have some friends with whom we don't bring stuff up, either because we know it will cause issues, or it just isn't something that comes up in our discussions.

And I have some friends who get blocked for about 4 months surrounding major elections on Facebook, and who I try to avoid during that time.

I really only have one person in my life that I've essentially written out (other than a business relationship) because of how they handle such issues. It isn't their beliefs that ended the mild friendship; it was the constant screaming on Facebook about how people with my beliefs are evil spawns of demons (that's only a very mild exaggeration). Interestingly, and maybe not surprisingly enough, I've learned since then that she is in general a very unstable person, and I've seen her blow up in public over the stupidest things ever.
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Old 05-13-2013, 03:27 PM
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Honestly I could care less what other people believe, I know my friends are going to believe in different things than I do. I only have an issue with it when they turn into big jerks about other religions and what other people believe. I believe people have a right to believe what they want to, regardless what I believe in.

For example, one of my best friends is hardcore into stock dogs, but she is a dominance trainer. Do I agree with it. no and she knows this, but we are able to have civil conversations about dog training, which are always full of information and learning from each other. She also has no issues with how I train my dogs. She knows it works for me.

Her dogs are very, very well trained and happy, confident dogs and I would let her watch my dogs in a heart beat. The main thing is we bounce ideas off each other and learn from each other.
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Old 05-13-2013, 03:37 PM
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Heck, there are quite a few people even on Chaz who have really drastically different views than I do (and voice those in appropriate threads) and I think they're lovely, respectable people.

And quite a few people who have the exact same views as I do, but are rude and degrading when trying to voice their opinions - and I think they're jerks.

That's how I feel IRL, too. I'd much rather be friends with a conservative, socially republican, devout Christian who's able to respectfully talk about how they feel without putting others down (and talk about other things when appropriate), than someone irreligious or "Buddhist" who shares all my views on socioeconomics but either can't shut up about it or makes other people feel inferior.
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Old 05-13-2013, 03:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurelin View Post
Hmmm. I have had very good friendships with lots of different people of varying beliefs and lifestyles. There does not have to be approval from each party towards the other's lifestyle but there needs to be respect. If both people can show the other respect then I don't see why that wouldn't work. That said some people just aren't mature enough and feel the need to constantly make things a problem. I have not ended friendships but I have avoided getting into a deeper friendship with some people who seem to feel the need to be confrontational about how wrong X group is constantly.
This.


I'm also in a very uncomfortable situation right now. I made new friends at a "charismatic" church. I was really into it, but I realized I got totally carried away, and I'm still more agnostic than anything.
It wouldn't be a problem, but I know these people will think I'm going to Hell and will do everything they can to help me get saved again. I respect their beliefs until I end up caught in the judgement.
I don't know what to do. The pastor had me pray for forgiveness for yoga. So yeah, these people have done so much for me and I love them, but I totally avoid conversations about religion, which is hard because that's a lot of what our friendship is based on and how we met.

I'm used to being the opposite of people politically and everything. I just don't take kindly to being told I'm going to burn for eternity. Is that not a thought one can keep to oneself?
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