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  #21  
Old 05-08-2013, 06:26 PM
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I like what Adrianne said about family. I think sometimes dogs are smarter than we give them credit for. Riley has a lot of the same issues as Bamm (minus the unpredictable behavior with people he knows) and we have had no issues with baby. I would never trust him with someone else's kids, completely different thing in my opinion. So while he does have strange people and strange dog reactivity and is easily stressed, he has been nothing but gentle with Clarissa.

We didn't introduce him right away and for the first few days her noises stressed him out. He's been so good with her, has this look of happy love on his face just like he would if it was any other member of the family. They both just want to sniff and lick her. So I've been very pleasantly surprised and totally believe in the family connection.

Prepare for the worst but you might be surprised in the end. Obviously we never will leave them alone unsupervised and will not let her "bug" them as she gets older.

And I second whoever said new babies are time consuming. It's been very challenging home alone with two dogs and a new baby. They will feel neglected for the first few weeks so make sure you have a plan in place for that aspect as well.

Feel free to pm me if you want more details on our first few weeks. Lol
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  #22  
Old 05-08-2013, 06:29 PM
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I'm wondering, for those of you who say your dogs or dogs you know accepted the baby as a member of the family....did your dogs ever show aggression TOWARDS family members? In the OP Amber states Bamm growled and reacted to Josh, but I'm not sure if that's the only occasion. I think if a dog is reactive or nervous in situations with strangers or non-family, that's one thing, but if the dog is unstable even with/around family members, it's very different.
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  #23  
Old 05-08-2013, 06:36 PM
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Yep totally agree. I think getting his vision etc checked is a good idea. I've never had that issue with Riley so it's not totally the same thing. But babies are definitely non threatening in the beginning and gives you plenty of time to manage the interactions and plan for when they get older and more mobile.
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  #24  
Old 05-08-2013, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
I'm wondering, for those of you who say your dogs or dogs you know accepted the baby as a member of the family....did your dogs ever show aggression TOWARDS family members? In the OP Amber states Bamm growled and reacted to Josh, but I'm not sure if that's the only occasion. I think if a dog is reactive or nervous in situations with strangers or non-family, that's one thing, but if the dog is unstable even with/around family members, it's very different.
I know in Chloe's case, she reacts aggressively towards family members, including myself (although to a much, much lessor degree). Which is why I would NOT trust her around a child, even my child. At all.
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  #25  
Old 05-08-2013, 07:25 PM
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I think you should look into anxiety medication for him. I know you've worked extensively on Bamm's behaviors already but I really think it would be beneficial for you guys. Getting a handle on your anxiety (easier said than done I know) would probably help a lot too - both of my girls feed off what I'm feeling. Combine that with behavior modification and I bet there'd be a lot of progress.

Also, there are TONS of baby containment devices. It's actually pretty easy to keep the dogs and the baby separated when I need to. Even when babies get bigger you can use x-pens and/or play pens to keep them apart - if you have the time and energy it IS possible to keep a dog and baby totally separated.
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  #26  
Old 05-08-2013, 07:56 PM
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You already know what I'm going to say *cough*meds*cough*

But remember, meds will NOT change his association with kids, it will only make him easier/more stable to work with. So if you want to have kids soonish, you need to start meds NOW, get his dosage right, and start conditioning him. NOW.

And honestly, I think you still need to be ready to euth if that doesn't work. I honestly don't think I would ever be comfortable bringing a baby into a home with a dog like Bamm. I have no interest in children myself, but if I did, I wouldn't bring one into a home with Frodo. He gets too upset with sudden movement, and I feel like he and Bamm may have that in common from what you have said about Bamm.

I am sorry that you have to even think about this kind of thing
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  #27  
Old 05-08-2013, 08:06 PM
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Also I would say that rehoming him would be very VERY irresponsible and dangerous. I think if he can't stay with you anymore (and if he can't I don't think a single soul would judge you for that decision) then you owe it to him to put him to sleep. There are so many things that are worse than euthanasia, really there are.
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  #28  
Old 05-08-2013, 08:07 PM
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I have seen a lot of people be worried about how their dog will be when they have kids, and seen them take varying degrees of precautions from nothing at all/crossing their fingers to talking to trainers/behaviorists to doing a lot of reading to rehoming dogs.

One thing I would like to say is that I've seen a lot of dogs that people have worried about or are reactive to kids in general do really well with a new baby coming home simply because when a newborn comes home, it is essentially immobile and extremely nonthreatening. From a dog's perspective, other than occasionally being noisy, it doesn't really do much other than lie around. They don't yet crawl or run around or do crazy toddler things. And so a lot of dogs have a lot of time to adapt to "their" baby while the baby is still not at all scary.

If you reach "push comes to shove" territory, then I don't think anyone is going to fault you for thoughtfully rehoming** if you think the situation isn't safe for your child. Not all dogs are safe with kids, even when we love them and they are awesome dogs otherwise. But while I would definitely be arming myself with information and speaking to a behaviorist now, try not to borrow worry, kwim?

**ETA: or euthanasia. I don't know why I specifically said rehome when you're worried about his bite history and the responsibility of rehoming, which I think is reasonable.

As for meds, I think they can help a lot. As PWC said, it's not like a magic wand but it can help smooth the rough edges and make any behavioral modification and training you do easier to penetrate his brain.
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  #29  
Old 05-08-2013, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
I'm wondering, for those of you who say your dogs or dogs you know accepted the baby as a member of the family....did your dogs ever show aggression TOWARDS family members? In the OP Amber states Bamm growled and reacted to Josh, but I'm not sure if that's the only occasion. I think if a dog is reactive or nervous in situations with strangers or non-family, that's one thing, but if the dog is unstable even with/around family members, it's very different.
In my moms case peanuts was a resource guarder, he never guarded against my sister.

I'm not saying its fool proof nor an always thing. When we first considered kids (wont be for a while for us) I immediately panicked and thought about putting down B (who's been aggressive with house members) however we're skilled with management and I could never live without trying, I wouldn't blame anyone for deciding elsewise but I have seen a fair number of surprisingly pleasant outcomes from similar situations so... hey, maybe there is hope.
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  #30  
Old 05-08-2013, 10:58 PM
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I'm definitely holding onto hope because of course I want it to work out. Bamm is my first dog of my own and he has been there by my side through some really trying times in my life and you guys totally know how I feel about him. I definitely wouldn't make any decisions right away because sure there is a chance it could be different when its our own kid. I do worry though since he has gone after Josh before (only 2 incidents that I recall) when Josh is technically family... And usually Bamm literally fawns over Josh. Josh is the only guy that can rough house with Bamm and get away with it. In fact, Bamm will bring him tug toys and encourage the rough housing. So it is odd to me that twice he'd go after Josh. Both times were so sudden and afterwards he acted like nothing had happened and was completely happy to prance around with Josh and bring him toys, beg for food, etc.

I do think sudden movements are a major trigger for him. That's one thing I can for the most part predict with him.

I am going to pursue getting his eyes/hearing checked, talk to a behaviorist and see about getting him on meds like yesterday. I have to wait a couple paychecks before I can get him seen mainly because Cricket had her unexpected vet visit when she hurt her foot and Joey has a vet appointment next Wednesday which uses up money I had set aside for vet bills. Just have to save up a little before I take him in.
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