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  #41  
Old 05-12-2013, 07:18 PM
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Worse case scenario, Barbara, can you just rent a room for yourself and Ryland? There's also websites like co-abode.com, which pairs up single mothers with other single mother roommates to find apartments.

Honestly, a few months ago, I wouldn't have thought your parents were off-base trying to get custody of Ryland...it seemed like you may not have been stable enough to care for a baby. But, it does sound like you're doing MUCH better, and I think avoiding sending Ryland to live with your parents at all would prevent a lot of issues arising. I hope you're able to find a safe place to live soon, but I think you will.
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  #42  
Old 05-12-2013, 07:21 PM
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Frankly, living with a boyfriend or no, I would not voluntarily separate myself from a newborn (or even my toddler,for that matter) for any length of time. It's far more beneficial for him to be with his mother than passed off to grandparents for no reason whatsoever. Particularly in light of their past and present comments. Seems like it is just asking for trouble.
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  #43  
Old 05-12-2013, 08:27 PM
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Him staying here with D and I isn't really an option, even temporarily. D has two other male roommates and the house is already crowded... It would be both inappropriate to Ryland and inconsiderate to the other tenants here.

MM, that's a good idea. This is a college town and there are often rooms available for cheap and on monthly deals. That's definitely something to think about.
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  #44  
Old 05-13-2013, 02:41 AM
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Another worry: WHAT do I do about childcare?
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  #45  
Old 05-13-2013, 10:59 AM
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Look into programs that have early headstart/headstart. We do not qualify for assistance because our income is too high, but benefit from the generally lower fees and the other things that come standard in a school with a headstart program...at least at our school for example, they provide diapers, wipes, formula if you have a formula baby, all food etc. You really need to look into chidlcare though ASAP bc there are often waiting lists. If your income is lower than a certain amount, you may qualify for assistance bringing the fee that you pay out of your pocket down significantly. I also like that the rules are strict so I know that a certain level of care is being given.

http://www.txhsa.org/Enrollment.html

Here is a link with a little more info. I know that in August when regular school starts, a lot of kids move to different rooms etc so there is a chance for an opening. But infant spaces are generally harder to find bc of the lower teacher ratio.
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  #46  
Old 05-13-2013, 11:08 AM
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Please please don't leave him with other people. Those first weeks are SOOOOOOOO important for you both to bond and form a positive attachment. Babies are SOOOO portable. Especially if you're breastfeeding.

Being in a busy house for a couple of weeks is MUCH MUCH better than being away from you.

Please please find some alternative.

As for your parents, they probably worry about you. They might not realise you'll be ok.
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  #47  
Old 05-13-2013, 11:31 AM
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I would also worry about Ryland (adorable name by the way) being with your folks because he will me closer to Josh & forgive me, I know he is the father of your child, but I really don't trust him & I get an especially bad feeling when I think about ryland being "that" close in proximity to Josh.
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  #48  
Old 05-13-2013, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogdragoness View Post
I would also worry about Ryland (adorable name by the way) being with your folks because he will me closer to Josh & forgive me, I know he is the father of your child, but I really don't trust him & I get an especially bad feeling when I think about ryland being "that" close in proximity to Josh.
I think technically, and your attorney could straighten this out for sure, Josh has more rights to custody than your parents do. So if Ryland was with your parents and you were in Texas, there's not much stopping him from getting a police escort over to you parent's house and taking custody of Ryland from them. I know you say he doesn't want to be involved, but deadbeat guys do REALLY WEIRD things in situations like this. He could easily pawn Ryland off on his own family to take care of, claim in court that you abandoned him, and force you to move back to get visitation with your son. Which would be absolutely horrendous.

Does your medicaid from the old state cover out of state procedures? I know that mine covers medical expenses when I'm traveling. Just wondering if you'd be able to continue with your prenatal care at least until they finally switch/cancel it.
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  #49  
Old 05-13-2013, 03:50 PM
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Barbara, do you have some kind of social worker or someone who helps you fill out medicaid/other paperwork?

I qualified for some kind of social worker after hospitalization. I stopped using her, because she wasn't helping that much (I didn't need the help), but once I got pregnant, I looked into getting one again. They needed an application to be filled out by my psychiatrist, but I know you get psychiatric care, so maybe look and see if your state has a program like that?

They'll help you with any kind of food stamps, medicaid, etc. paperwork and could also probably help you arrange child care. I know here, I do qualify for some subsidized day care, but I think that's only because I'm still a student. My current school has no infant day care, and I know if I wasn't transferring I'd have the option of other local day cares being covered, and I think it's the same if you're working (not a student).
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  #50  
Old 05-15-2013, 10:38 AM
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After a long talk with D, we have decided that Ryland will stay with me, no matter where I am or where we are. Both of his roommates are moving out at the end of June and he may either move in with a different friend, or get a place with me temporarily. That's still up in the air. I found and still have to contact a local low income housing area, where a two bedroom is supposedly around $400. If I could get that, it would be absolutely perfect.

I'm still stressing about how I am going to afford full time child care, but MM, yes, I do have a case worker through Medicaid. I plan on speaking to her today about what I can do and I also have an appt tomorrow at the local WIC and aid services office and I will ask them for referrals as well. I plan to apply for housing assistance, but I have already been told that the waiting list for that is at least a year. There are also a few programs I have to wait until Ryland is here to actually apply for.

I am hoping child support will help, but I am not counting on nor expecting to receive that.

So... Medicaid, Food Stamps, WIC.. I have all of those. Going to ask about other programs... Biggest worry right now is childcare. I am tempted to ask my parents if they would want to contribute to that... But I've seen the average daycare is $150 a week. That's so much...

I've also already gotten ugly comments about being on state aid and a nasty look when I slid my food stamps card at the register the other day. Great. /:
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