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Old 04-30-2013, 01:27 AM
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Default Roommate advice/rules

I've given up on getting the other thread on track so, any advice for living with a roomie?

Right now we have been toying around with.."Rules" (but I am blanking on good rules to have/add)
*label food that is yours
*visitors/guests are only there if you are. Inform roomie if guests are coming
* No music/loudness after 10PM on weekdays
* No overnight guests more than 2 nights per week
* Dishes cleaned after you eat/don't sit in the sink
* He takes out garbage/cleans bathroom.. I clean kitchen/do floors. We both tidy up common area.
* No sexy times in the common area (duh) lol similarly, be decent in common areas when it comes to clothing choices (or lack there of)
* I go shopping and we split expenses on house common items (cleaning, toilet paper, paper towels, swiffer pads, garbage bags etc...)
* Weekly roomie meeting on tuesdays
* No smoking inside (we don't smoke but it seemed like a decent thing to add)
* Books or DVDs can be borrowed but only with permission, don't dog ear my books.
* Door is locked when you step out
* Let other roomie know if you are going to be gone so I don't think you have died
* No shoes on in the house
* No entering bedrooms without permission
* No food left uncovered on counters, tables, bedrooms etc.. including crumbs. (I have a paranoid fear of rodents/bugs..)
* Your daily shower time is ____, mine is _____.
* No illegal stuff in the apartment
* Rent is paid on the ____ of the month. Utilities are split evenly and paid on the ____.

Any ideas for rules regarding Merlin? His crate will be in my room of course, and he comes to work most days. Bob really likes him and is great with him but I figured perhaps having a few rules about him is a good idea..
I was thinking "Merlin is 100% my responsibility and is to be crated when I'm not around. If you'd like you can take him out of his crate only if you can watch him and walk him once you learn his training rules.
or any other rule ideas?

Those with roomies, how do you deal with sharing a bathroom? cooking? shared items? chores?
any other general advice?
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Old 04-30-2013, 07:22 AM
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I think having too many rules might actually be a bad idea. In my last roommate situation, it was a blanket "be courteous". Of course you'll need some ground rules, but to put in the rules what time you are allowed to take a shower, etc. I think those are things you will work out after figuring out what your schedules are.
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Old 04-30-2013, 07:54 AM
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I have never started out with any roomie "rules." The first time, when I had an actual roommate, it worked out great. This time, with an apartment-mate - well, you've heard my complaints.

The first basic thing is just to be respectful. Your space is yours, his space will be his and the common area is just that - common. I'm NOT a neat freak by any means. My current roomie is. So my room often looks like a tornado hit it, but I do make an effort to keep the common area neat. Don't throw a wild party without letting your roomie know. Do your share of cleaning. If you have a legitimate roommate, don't play music/start up the hair dryer in the bedroom while they're sleeping. Don't pig out on their food. Do interact and be pleasant. Again, with the legit roomie - don't skype in the bedroom while they're asleep. You know, common sense things... those common sense things suited my roommate and I just fine freshman year.


And then I moved in with roomzilla.

With roommate 1, just being courteous was more than enough to have us get along and become wonderful friends. With roommate 2, some ground rules might have been in order. Here are the things that we've had major disagreements on (AKA she has had huge issues with me).

1) thermostat
2) friends visiting (not parties, just a handful of friends)
3) boyfriend visiting (overnight and just in general)
4) cleaning up kitchen (don't even get me started on this one... she claims I was leaving "crumbs..." yeah right.)
5) borrowing her dishes/using any dishes when I'm sick
6)leaving clutter in the living room for a full 20 hours ()

I'd just consider your own personality and your roommate's... "ground rules" with my first roommate would've been silly. We were both reasonable, chill people who were conscientious, but recognized that the other was still human. With the second, maybe it should've been done before she decided to create a manifesto about everything that I do wrong.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:25 AM
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We never had rules except pat your bills and if you eat someone's food replace it.

If we has guests over late we were respectful.

We all cleaned as needed, it was just understood.

Just throwing it out there that if things aren't totally lined out they will probably still work out.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:43 AM
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The only things I've really had rules about were food and chores.

Honestly, for me personally the amount of micromanaging on that list would rub me the wrong way. Weekly meetings, telling you when I'm gone, how often I can have overnight guests... specifying a lot of details like those or stuff like shower times I don't think are necessary for reasonable adults unless they really, really bother you or they become an issue (eg I'm always late because you're in the shower when I get up) and then you can always just talk about it.

Having said that, you and he aren't me and if you both want all those details spelled out then I think you've about covered it. I think the most important thing is that you're on the same page about things rather than what your specific rules are.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:50 AM
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Oh and dogs have been "don't bother them unless needed". My roommate would walk Arnold sometimes, only one whom I trusted to handle him. They often let out fosters for play time. They were never allowed to handle the Malinois but we kept them under lock and key to prevent any temptations.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:55 AM
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We made the list together, lol just wanted to be clear that it's not me just sprouting out these grand lists of micromanaged laws for the apartment while we do agree on a lot things it seemed clearer to have it all in writing just as a general thing.
We just kind of threw ideas off each other and this is what we both agreed on.

The shower thing was really because we both have work/school around the same time. We share a bathroom, figured it would be easier to have times. I'm later because I walk merlin and juice in the morning before showering, him earlier because it's the first thing he does. I don't care what time he showers otherwise

Personally it was easier for me to write this and work with him and compromise here than it would've been for me to wait and have to bring it up to him about something he is doing. Although no doubt there will still be those issues but having the rules and the process of writing them has really helped get the discussion open about what we do/do not want.

I just would rather these things not go unsaid/unspoken of until there is an issue and resentment starts to build up although i'm not too worried, we are pretty big at calling eachother out and speaking honestly.

Oh and roommate might be the wrong word we aren't sharing a room. For the record. Separate bedrooms. Shared common spaces/bathroom.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:58 AM
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You're a planner, I remember your threads pre merlin. lol Do what makes you feel most comfortable, you and your lists may one day take over the world.
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Old 04-30-2013, 09:01 AM
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Oh and pretty sure we found a place today
It's a brownstone with a roofdeck!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!
1250ft²!!!! I LIVE IN 280 NOW! SO MUCH SPACE!!

There is still much to do and we have to wait until it passes inspection and we hear from the realtor and landlord about a few things but I'm excited!
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Old 04-30-2013, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdrianneIsabel View Post
You're a planner, I remember your threads pre merlin. lol Do what makes you feel most comfortable, you and your lists may one day take over the world.
My agenda may one day take over the world literally.

I still have Merlin's lists somewhere.. lol oh the best laid plans then he got home and I was like "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING I AM PREPARED FOR NOTHING!!!!!!!"
and now he runs wild.

I suspect the living situation will be much the same lol I mean, less insane, and less poop hopefully but there will be some adjustment.
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