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  #21  
Old 03-29-2013, 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted by AdrianneIsabel View Post
One year into Backup I was thinking seriously about selling him. Two years and I cannot fathom my life without him, even when he is a PITA.

I don't mind people rehoming dogs that are fitting their lifestyle as long as the dog is being put in a better place but I figure that is worth sharing. Some dogs cause growing pains while you're learning how to be a better dog handler who can handle more than you wanted to but the only way you'll learn is if you don't give up and re-home prematurely.
Word. It took me over a year to say "I love you" and "good dog" to Rage - and that's not an exaggeration at all.
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The Plotts:
UKC GRCH 'PR' Hannas Creek Liz
CCH 'PR' Jebb's Bayou Rage CA

And the "off-colored" hounds:
Daisy Duke Garrett CGC, RA & my <3 dog (basset)

Very Missed:
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'PR' Dead River K-N-A Swagger - the BAD puppy!
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  #22  
Old 03-29-2013, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by AdrianneIsabel View Post
One year into Backup I was thinking seriously about selling him. Two years and I cannot fathom my life without him, even when he is a PITA.

I don't mind people rehoming dogs that are fitting their lifestyle as long as the dog is being put in a better place but I figure that is worth sharing. Some dogs cause growing pains while you're learning how to be a better dog handler who can handle more than you wanted to but the only way you'll learn is if you don't give up and re-home prematurely.
Looking at backup's wittle face in your sig I can't imagine rehoming him lol.

It's not like I am having buyers remorse or anything, I am not that cruel

I just want the best for him & if that is not with me then that is ok, I hope I can step up & be the kind of person he seems to know I can be
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  #23  
Old 03-30-2013, 01:23 AM
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This was my response to a similar thread on the other forum.

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I honestly don't get it at all- the whole idea of not bonding with a dog. Maybe I'm stubborn, maybe I've just been lucky. I don't know. We've had a lot of dogs, some more my type of dog than others and I've bonded with them all eventually. Even the terrier foster that was totally not my kind of dog ripped my heart out when she left.

Sometimes you have to let go of what you expect and anticipate a dog will be. In my experience bonding rarely happens right off the bat. We get these preconceived notions of 'I will get this puppy and she will be awesome and she will be MY DOG totally. Everything will be awesome.' It hardly ever works that way. Nikki was my one instant connection dog. The others have taken time.

Summer is a really great dog. Almost too great sometimes. She is darn near perfect and seems to love everyone equally, which is not my general favorite temperament type. I enjoyed her but it wasn't until a year or so in that I realized I'd really bonded with her. It took some hard times and being apart to realize how much she meant to me.

My first thought of Mia was that she was the wrong dog for me. She was very timid and nervous and it just... didn't feel right. That dog is my absolute favorite dog I've ever owned. The idea that you always immediately know it's 'your dog' and if you don't feel that in the first few days or weeks or even months... is a fairy tale. Relationships take time to build.

Trey is the one I most think of when I read these kinds of threads. He was a difficult, difficult dog in all the wrong ways. He was not difficult and fun like mia, but just plain hard to deal with. He was fearful of everything but he was so stoic and shut down so fast. He never had much expression at all. Didn't enjoy being petted. Would stiffen up if you picked him up. Wouldn't play. Couldn't even walk him because he was so scared of leaving the house. He just basically sat in his own world all the time. I've got a nice scar from him too. Bonding with him was not easy. We got him at one year old and I don't think I really appreciated him until he was around 8 years old. Gosh, it's making me tear up right now. For some reason he made me his girl. I am a much better dog owner because of him. I miss him more than any dog I have ever had. Wish I would have stopped comparing him to my other dogs sooner. Once I stopped focusing on 'why are you so weird? Why cant' you be like my other dogs?'... the bond came. He taught me some hard lessons and I am very glad we stuck it out with him. I think he was very glad we stuck it out too.

I'm a firm believer in that you don't get the dog you want, you get the dog you need. If the dog is fitting into your home, I would keep working on it. Try to let go of the preconceived notion that having a dog should be like X and I should feel like Y. Don't look at your dog and your relationship compared to your past dog. Get involved in stuff. agility, hiking, whatever. Find stuff your dog likes and do it. Enjoy the dog for what it is, not what you think they should be.

In the end, I made the choice to bring the dog home. It's on me to hold up my end of the bargain and be the kind of owner the dog needs. Just my 2 cents.
I really do agree that a commitment is a commitment. I think sometimes it is in the dog's best interest to rehome if it is truly just not working out but I also think you can give up too soon. And you can also be the problem that is preventing the bond from happening- I know I was the problem when it came to Trey. In the end I made a commitment to that dog though and it's up to me to fulfill it. That's really the bottom line.
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  #24  
Old 03-31-2013, 02:52 AM
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Originally Posted by sassafras View Post
If the issue is that you don't like him or his personality, then maybe he isn't working out. But bonding... honestly I don't believe that bonding is something that happens fast or not at all. It took me over a year to really bond with Maisy. In retrospect, that was because what I really wanted was Roxy: Part II and that, Maisy is... not. Not even close. But that's not her fault.

What really helped me was taking a lot of classes with her and working through some training challenges with her. It helped me appreciate her Maisy-ness and let go of how she wasn't Roxy. And I never would have guessed how much she had to contribute to scootering and joring, it's opened up a whole new kind of bonding that I would never have experienced if I'd given up. So it took awhile to get here, but now anyone who wants to try to take her can just try to pry her out of my cold, dead fingers.
I had a similar problem bonding with Luna when I first got her. And I think it was because like you I wanted Cinnamon II and well Luna isn't lol and like you say totally not her fault. I even had times when I wondered if she was the right dog for me, if I really was ready for another dog so quickly because it just wasn't working out those first few days/weeks. But once I got past those problems with training and lots of playing time . Realized that Luna was never going to be Cinnamon and that I love her for who she is that I really started bonding with her. Now we're inseparable . I'm glad that I hung in there too because I would have lost a great dog had I given up. One thing I know for sure now is that NO ONE is taking her a way from me and if they try there's going to be hell to pay.
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  #25  
Old 03-31-2013, 10:49 AM
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I was relieved to read that a good few folks also thought what I thought about Josefina when I first got her ... I was looking for izze 2 & as a result I didn't get along with Josefina for over a year. Training was a chore.

BUT it made me Re examine myself & how I worked with my dogs, it was clear that the CM esque methods that worked so well with Izze were not going to work with Josefina ... So I read up about different methods & started using a very "soft" version of NILF because even with her I cannot use very adversity methods either but she is more "resilient" then buddy. That's not a comparison ... It's just an observation.
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  #26  
Old 03-31-2013, 11:00 AM
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I think bonding can take time. Most of my dogs it was pretty instant, but Courtney took forever, she had so much baggage. It took around 8 +months before that bond clicked. Sierra came to us over 3 yrs ago and that bond never clicked for me, but she is a part of the family. She loves my kids and is a great girl!
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  #27  
Old 03-31-2013, 11:40 AM
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I guess I will have to come to grips with the possibility that we just may neve have that close bond that I have always been able to form with my other dogs which may not be a bad thing, I guess we'll be like acquaintances lol
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  #28  
Old 03-31-2013, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
I think the only way I'd consider rehoming in your described situation is if I thought that my personality or lifestyle was hindering the dog from coming out of it's shell and coping with it's issues, and I wasn't able to change that. If the dog and you simply don't have perfectly meshing temperaments/personalities...for me, that's be something to just "get over". IMO, when you get a dog, you stack the odds in your favor, but the way they act at home over time is never guarantee, and they're family. They might be too quiet or too active or too sensitive or too stupid for your liking, but you deal with it.

If you think you're really unable to control your frustrations with him or work around it so that he's not put into situations where he's very uncomfortable, because of your job, other pets, etc...I'd consider rehoming. But I wouldn't seek out rehoming just because you guys don't click or bond that well.
This.

None of my dogs are my "dream" dogs. There are things I don't like about them, daily frustrations. It's different because I know I love them etc and there is never any question about that. But still, they don't fit my "ideal" but ultimately they are mine. And I would not give up a dog for reasons like this, unless it meant I was not giving them what they need, or as was pointed out earlier - all hell breaking loose.

Otherwise I'd be cycling through dogs until I found the perfect match?
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  #29  
Old 03-31-2013, 04:43 PM
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I think I've been very lucky. It take me a really really long time to become devoted to anything, or anyone, but I know I love Fred, and dealing with his vet stuff recently has only solidified that!

It's not like Bodhi, who I know inside out, and can talk to in plain English and she seems to understand.... Who's my silent shadow and buddy, knows me, been there, done that and seen the highs and lows.

But he's definitely slotting in well
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  #30  
Old 03-31-2013, 05:04 PM
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Of the five, I have a stronger bond with Kiba (1st), Lincoln (4th) and Charlie (5th). Their personalities are what I really like in dogs. That doesn't mean I love Stryder (2nd) or Tsuki (3rd) any less.

Stryder and I don't really mesh well, he's either on or off, a most of the time a loud jerk-face, and Tsuki is too small for my taste and little more reserved/shy. Though over the years every now and then I have a fleeting thought of rehoming them to "better fit" homes, I love them with all my heart and couldn't be without them. So for them, we do other stuff that doesn't frustrate one another.
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