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Old 02-08-2013, 07:55 AM
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I was going to put this in the Moms thread, but I guess anyone who has a last name can have an opinion on this

Who's kids have a different last name than them? Or will have a different last name? Does anyone have a different last name than either of their parents, or a hyphenated last name? Do you like it? Did it ever cause difficulties in childhood/school/socially?

I'm not sure what last name I want to give my child...either mine, his, or hyphenated. If he doesn't have a preference, I'll likely give the baby my last name, but if he wants the baby to have his, I'm not totally opposed to that.

On one hand - His last name is easier to spell, and pronounce. I have absolutely no family sharing my last name except my brother, no connection to it. It doesn't reflect my heritage, it's difficult to spell and pronounce, and I don't like it. While his parents are also divorced and there are a number of surnames in his family, his father, grandparents, etc. share the last name.

If I ever got married, I would want to take my husband's last name. If I gave my baby my last name this would change....I'd probably hyphen my last name, which I don't particularly want to do.

I hate to say this...but everything I'm doing I'm sort of doing with a custody battle in mind. We get along well, are both fairly easy-going and cooperative, and are both children of nasty divorces who do NOT want to end up in court over our kid. Yet anytime anything goes in writing, text, email...I think about what it would look like to a judge. And I can't help but think that if the kid has his last name, it might be easier for him to get custody if things drastically changed. I'm also considering any issues/confusion it might cause in school or with insurance/legally, but these days so many kids have different last names than parents, it doesn't seem like too big of a deal.

Hyphening it seems like an obvious answer, but that means a lot of letters and like it would be clunky and awkward.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:06 AM
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here , the baby get the mothers last name unless the dad signs a paper acknowledging paternity. You can also leave it blank and force him to get a paternity test , but then you would have to probably forgo child support.
My son Calebs sperm donor wanted me to abort , so i took his money and told him I did and he moved away. I went on a baby thing buying spree with it. Caleb does not have a father listed on his birth cert and has my last name.



While Chris and I are not married , in my household there are 3 diffrent last names.
Chris , Jacob , Virginia and Victoria share one.
Cyle and Nick share there birth moms last name
Caleb and i share one also.

Check ya local laws , you may not have much choice.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:12 AM
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Wait...why would a DNA test involve forgoing child support?? Wouldn't getting a DNA test make it easier for me to get child support? I'm not seeking child support, anyway.


His name will be on the birth certificate. So I'm pretty sure in this state we have the choice (and I'm pretty sure I have the choice to give my kid whatever last name I want...even if it's completely unrelated to either of us...the only thing you need to have the other parent sign for is for THEIR name to be on the birth certificate as father).

Ex: If he wasn't going to sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity and I did not get an Order of Filiation, the "father" area of the birth certificate would be left blank, I could not list him there. But I could still give my baby his last name, or whatever other last name I wanted.

ETA: I forgot to ask: What's it like having those different last names in your house? Is it easy enough for you to deal with the younger kid's schooling/insurance/etc. even though you don't share a last name?
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:16 AM
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I meant slow down the process , not stop it. sorry coffeee is just starting to kick in,


and yes easy , no questions ever asked . no hassles ever.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:20 AM
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I have my dad's last name and my mum is remarried. It has caused some tricky situations at the border and more recently when I'm trying to join an account.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:30 AM
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These days I don't think it really phases many people anymore. We don't have kids, but I didn't take my husband's name when we were married and it has never caused any real problems.

The only time it has caused any trouble was many years ago when, of all things, we bought a joint fishing license at a bait shop. I just politely asked how many other couples were asked to provide their marriage certificates to prove they were married instead of, say, brother and sister... and that was that.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:40 AM
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I share my dad's last name. I have three sisters that also have my dad's last name and one brother that has my mom's last name. My mom is getting divorced again though and said she is planning to go back to her maiden name so she will have a different last name than all of us.

Didn't cause any major issues when I was growing up that I can recall.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:54 AM
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Yeah, my only real concern is international travel. I guess bringing along a copy of the birth certificate would solve that.
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
Yeah, my only real concern is international travel. I guess bringing along a copy of the birth certificate would solve that.
If they had scanned my passport it would have solved it right then, but they just looked at them and saw that two white people were transporting an Asian looking kid with a different last name back into Canada and decided to separate me for some questions.
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:00 AM
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My mother has been married three times. She had me with her first husband, and I had his last name. My brother was born out of wedlock, and took her maiden name. Later, our biological father/her first husband remarried her and adopted Ethan. Then they divorced again.

Second husband adopted the both of us. So one name change for me, two for Ethan. My mother also took his last name. Then he died 3 or 4 years later.

Third husband, she hyphenated her name since he didn't adopt us. So he had one name, we had a different name, and my mother used both names. And that is mostly how it is today, except that I'm married.

As far as social/school/legal things were concerned, there were never had any issues.

But, from my viewpoint, it got to a point where the last name didn't even matter anymore. I felt like I was being "claimed" each time the circumstances changed, and I was either wanted/not wanted into a family due to a simple name and IF the guy decided to adopt me. And I didn't want to belong, either. They were temporary, they didn't mean anything, but they were stupidly still part of my identity. If I could have gone through life without a last name, I would have. I know it's stupid to base everything on a last name, but I never said the thought was logical, really. I wish my mother would have just given us HER name. No matter what, as sad as it is, she's still our mother. The guys always changed, but she didn't. It would have been simpler that way.
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