I have a dilemma

[SpringerLover]

My best friend in high school is at a very different point in her life than I am so we've kind of drifted apart and just talk occasionally. She's been texting me off and on for the last two years about her cat. He absolutely does not like her two children and despite moving into a house where he has a (finished) basement all to himself to retreat to, a huge litterbox that is scooped at least daily, and one-on-one time with both owners... he still poops outside the litterbox.

In theory, I could take him once I move as a "foster" but realistically... I don't know that he's a cat I could even place with anyone. He's really a 2 person cat and has never warmed up to anyone but his two owners. He barely tolerates my presence (or that of anyone). My friend is heartbroken over this and her husband is becoming increasingly upset about the whole situation (he is at the point of wanting the cat euthanized).

I really don't know what to do. Do I volunteer to take him after I move (and potentially have issues with my own "problem-child-cat")? Do I tell her that I'll take him to the vet to be euthanized? (He can't be an outside cat, he's been declawed in the front so sending him to that "mythical farm" isn't an option.)

I'm really, really sad for her. I don't think they'd ever do meds and I know they won't see a veterinary behaviorist. If I took him, I'd likely ask to have him put on meds to make the transition at least a little easier... but I still feel like that's a really poor choice on my part.

I definitely need advice.

[Pandemonium]

Has she tried two different cat boxes? Some cats are insistant on having 2, one for each job (our two cats have 3 boxes, but generally only use the 2), and try unscented litter too. Moving the box to a completely different area, away from his food may help, as well as having the boxes out of eyesight of people watching. Maybe he's shy LOL.

I don't know that fostering/rehoming is really going to be the answer sorry to say. Hope it all works out for the dude.

[stardogs]

If the cat has to have meds just to live with you then I think it might well be more humane to euth if it comes to that. Different types of boxes, more boxes, different litter, all might help, though. Have they tried Feliway?

If they do euth, they should go with him to the vets' - he doesn't need the added stress of handling by strangers at the end of his life.

[MicksMom]

I'm not trying to sound harsh here, but honestly, I don't see it as a dilemma on your part- he's not going to fit into your household for various reasons. Don't feel bad for not being able to take him in/foster him. You have to think of your household first. If they choose to have him pts, and you're OK with taking him, that's what I would suggest. But, whatever you do, don't feel guilty that he doesn't fit into your household.

[Dogdragoness]

If my OH told me to euth one me my animals I don't know if our relationship could continue after that or if it did I dot know if it would be the same.

[Romy]

Has she tried one of those feliway pheremone plug in things? I've never used one personally, but they're supposedly extremely calming and work well. I think they cost around $30 or so. That's about the cost of a euth, so it might be worth a try to see if it helps.

[Grab]

My coworker was having an issue with her cats in regards to litterbox issues, she's had great luck with the Feliway diffusers.

I wouldn't feel bad about not being able to take in the cat, though.

[Dogdragoness]

You mentioned that the cat also had issues with kids, what kind? Just curious.

[SpringerLover]

He avoids the children at all costs. He has never shown anything that would be concerning or dangerous.

[Southpaw]

This just started when the kids came into the picture?

I would try the Feliway if it's behavioral, and everything medical is okay. I know my cat poops outside the box when his poo starts getting a bit on the "too firm" side... so are you sure it's just rooted in stress?