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  #71  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:10 PM
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www.nami.org

The first step towards getting out of a hole is to stop digging it.
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  #72  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara! View Post
I'm not trying to take the blame off of him and onto the girl... He should have walked away, and he chose not to. That's what fires me up... He chose not to walk away from her, and chose to just jump straight into a new relationship.
You have absolutely no way of knowing that they haven't been seeing each other in some context for some time now. Nothing other than what he's told you.

Now THERE'S a reliable source.

Not that it even matters how long . . . it is what it is.

Get your sh1t together and get moved out and on.

Or don't. But don't use a child to try to hang onto contact with him in hopes of getting him back. That's beyond wrong.

Besides, with all the criminal charges he's looking at, it's unlikely he'll be sleeping with New Chick for that long anyway. He may even find that he's the New Chick.
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  #73  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
You have absolutely no way of knowing that they haven't been seeing each other in some context for some time now. Nothing other than what he's told you.

Now THERE'S a reliable source.

Not that it even matters how long . . . it is what it is.

Get your sh1t together and get moved out and on.

Or don't. But don't use a child to try to hang onto contact with him in hopes of getting him back. That's beyond wrong.

Besides, with all the criminal charges he's looking at, it's unlikely he'll be sleeping with New Chick for that long anyway. He may even find that he's the New Chick.
Great post....but the bolded part...Thanks for making me squirt Orange Juice out my nose!
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  #74  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:14 PM
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Also:
http://www.womenshelters.org

And Renee, you owe me a keyboard cleaning!
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by developing our powers of empathy and observation,
and by searching for better ways to teach and educate the dogs we love."
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  #75  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:15 PM
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I was in a relationship when I was younger (17-19) that is similar to yours. Same name of the guy too :P

Its very easy when you are on the outside to see the signs, to get upset, to get frustrated. Its NOT easy when you are living it. If your Josh is like mine was, he was a master manipulator and pathological liar. Someone would tell me "Oh, he told me he is trying to break up with you"...I would confront him and get "I did think that, I was so confused. But I have realized I really love you blah blah blah." Hell, right before we broke up he was asking me to move out of state with him, we were researching apartments, schools, etc. I was sending out applications even. Then I didnt hear from him for a couple days (as was consistent to his pattern) and when I finally did get a hold of him, yep, a girl answered (NOW know that was part of his pattern too).

He was (well, is I am sure) bi polar and has a whole host of other issues. Living with the ups and downs, it gets really hard to see whats real. I feel for you, I do. Your whole world has turned upside down, you lost someone you thought to be your life, etc.

HOWEVER, I can promise, once you get some space and clarity you will realize how f'ed up the whole situation was. You will emerge stronger and better for rising above the drama.

Also, because you are pregnant, yep, you got to suck it up buttercup. Its ok to be hurt, its not something you can control and its normal. BUT you do have to figure out like now healthy ways to cope.
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  #76  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
Besides, with all the criminal charges he's looking at, it's unlikely he'll be sleeping with New Chick for that long anyway. He may even find that he's the New Chick.
Oh no you didn't!



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  #77  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara! View Post
Honestly? I don't know. I didn't GET pregnant for that reason.., but when he brought up the whole not loving me thing.. I figured it would motivate him to try. And I still think it would have....if he hadn't met this girl.
If he hadn't met this girl, he would have met some other girl. I'm sorry, that's just the way some guys are.

It hurts and it sucks and it's not easy, but if everyone else who has ever had their heart broken (that is, almost everyone) has gotten through it, there's no reason you can't get through it. But you have to start by letting go of this fantasy version of Josh in your head who was somehow magically and unwittingly led astray by bosses and other girls through no fault of his own.

Let the fantasy go and start living your real life, right now, with your baby.
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  #78  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmagick View Post
If your Josh is like mine was, he was a master manipulator and pathological liar. Someone would tell me "Oh, he told me he is trying to break up with you"...I would confront him and get "I did think that, I was so confused.
But, going by what she's posted here, he flat out said he didn't love her and could not figure out how to end the relationship. He didn't even call her while he was in jail. I'd be curious as to whether he called the new girl while he was there. The point being..he didn't lie about it. She chose to ignore what he was telling her in pretty clear terms.
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  #79  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grab View Post
But, going by what she's posted here, he flat out said he didn't love her and could not figure out how to end the relationship. He didn't even call her while he was in jail. I'd be curious as to whether he called the new girl while he was there. The point being..he didn't lie about it. She chose to ignore what he was telling her in pretty clear terms.
EH, I also saw where he said he wanted things to work and was trying to figure out how etc.

Point being, she is hurting...thats ok. BUt you have to deal with it, find healthy ways to cope, and move on
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  #80  
Old 01-02-2013, 04:30 PM
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You are surprised at this?? He is a thief, a liar, a fugitive and the Lord above only knows what else. And you are STILL surprised that he was cheating on you?
It is time to buck up and grow up. YOU have a child on the way. At the rate you are going YOUR child is going to get taken away from you and with you being deemed an unfit parent. Its time to start making smart and good choices for you and your child.
I am not trying to be mean. But OMG, it is time to grow up and face the music. Reality is, your life is no longer about YOU, your world is no longer about what you want. Its about that child growing inside of you.
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