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Old 01-02-2013, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by MilliesMom View Post
...Completely separate from the concept of support. You get your tush moving on setting up support and the beginning talks of visitation rights. There's still the likelihood that he'll be in jail when the child is born? Get the paperwork started as soon as the courts will allow.
On the subject of visitation- given his history, if I were you, I'd go for supervised visitations. With someone "official" being the superviser.
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Old 01-02-2013, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted by MicksMom View Post
I think that varies from state to state. No matter, it's something that definitely needs to be looked into.
As far as I know it's state law, but all 50 states required an acknowledgement of paternity signed by both parents and two witnesses to be submitted with the birth certificate for an unmarried couple.
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy
Old 01-02-2013, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Baxter'smybaby View Post
It's a New Year-sounds like it was a gift to get him out of your life for the new year.
You are carrying a child--who will depend on you to care for him/her. THAT should be your priority--let go of the fantasy of how wonderful Josh is--he isn't.
Time to grow up, take care of yourself and your child.

Originally Posted by Barbara! View Post
That's what he fed me. I have no remorse or pity for him. I told him that point blank, he did not respect me enough to wait before jumping into a new relationship. He said "You can't help it when you meet someone". Yes, you can. You can walk the hell away.
Exactly. I'm glad you're saying this - it's a good start. There may be the opportunity to cheat, but it doesn't mean you need to take it.

Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
You're in the U.S.?

If he's on the birth certificate, unless he gets testing done proving this child is not his, he is on the hook for support until this child is 18.

Have it paid through the clerk of the court. That way THEY know when it doesn't come in.

Make sure he pays for it. Put his NAME on that birth certificate. If he's professing to you that he wants to do the right thing and provide for the baby, this is your way of making sure he doesn't get to change his mind.
"and I dont play the victim, I own my stuff... but whatever blows your skirt up. "
Old 01-02-2013, 10:49 AM
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I agree with Eddie and ReleaseTheHounds. Get the papers for support filed right away and an agreement for visitation on record before the baby comes.

also, don't make any rash decisions on who can and cannot see the baby in this emotional state you are in. You mentioned that you don't want his parents to see the baby or that they make you sick or something (I'm sorry... I've not finished my first coffee so I can't remember exactly) because they knew about the other girl but up to that point you said his parents were wonderful and a nice source of support for you guys. don't completely rip them out of the baby's life just yet just because you are mad at them. if you know deep down that they are responsible people and they will love this grandchild, don't do anything rash and burn that bridge. The more people in this babes life that really love him/her and are committed to his/her care... all the better.

No matter what you are always going to be connected to him so figuring out a way to protect your heart and not fall for him again while maintaining a civil relationship for the baby is going to be key for everyone involved.

“Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.”

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Old 01-02-2013, 02:38 PM
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This is a sad, unfortunate situation indeed

Old 01-02-2013, 02:55 PM
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I'm here, and I'm listening. I plan on all of that. Should be at my parents by tonight. I just... It hurts. I gave him everything for three years and he is already in a relationship with someone new. All I can hear is him saying "I love her..." ... Crushes me into tears every single time. How could he move into a new relationship so fast? After three years with me....HOW?!

I love him so much and all I want is his arms around me...his voice telling me he loves me. Why can't I make the go away? Will it ever go away? Will he ever want me back? How can he be with someone else.... I just don't understand. I'm pregnant with his child.

I've never had a deeper desire to stop existing.
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself." -D.H. Lawrence

"Only when the last tree is cut, only when the last river is polluted, only when the last fish is caught, will they realize that you can’t eat money." –Native American proverb
Old 01-02-2013, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Barbara! View Post

Will he ever want me back? How can he be with someone else.... I just don't understand. I'm pregnant with his child.

Why would you want him back? A clearly immature person who apparently just spills out lie after lie. And a criminal at that? Having a child does not suddenly make a person mature. In fact, one could argue that lacking protection willy nilly is a rather clear example of immaturity, particularly in a person who has emotionally detached from their partner.

I'm sure this other person will not stick with someone they're in a new relationship with once he starts having court dates and probably jail time. I hope that, if he calls you when he finds himself alone, that you remember the type of person he actually is.
Old 01-02-2013, 03:14 PM
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Right now, if he were to want me back, I would say yes. Because my heart still loves him and I wouldn't be strong enough to turn him away. Maybe, in a few months... Maybe I will be stronger. And if he wants me back, I may be able to say no. But right now all I see is bleak and pain and I just... I'm in such a dark place.

I haven't eaten in 4 days but I am still making sure to take my prenatal vitamins and I may get some pediasure shakes or something to drink and keep my nutrients up. I just can't sit and eat a meal. Anybody know of anything like that that is good tasting and nutritious?

Also guys, I know I don't seem normal. I have a lot of mental issues that make my reactions to things very...not normal. When he was talking about not loving me, I would throw myself to the floor and scream and hyperventilate... Because I feel like I'm dying. When I found out about that girl... I was initially strong..then I went into a fit and couldn't breathe and fainted in my bed because I couldn't stop screaming.
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself." -D.H. Lawrence

"Only when the last tree is cut, only when the last river is polluted, only when the last fish is caught, will they realize that you can’t eat money." –Native American proverb
Old 01-02-2013, 03:20 PM
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I feel like coming over there and shaking you!!

Stop wallowing in self pity, pull your bootstraps up and get out the house. You think you're miserable now? A few months of grief over a lost relationship is a far better prospect than years and years of mediocre unfulfilling and harmful relationship.

If this was your baby, and their relationship, what advice would you give them? Would you be happy for your unborn child to be in a damaging relationship? Because it will be if you're with him.

You need to seek out someone to help you through this. I could give you lots of help and advice if you were local, but your not, so I'm not being as tactful as I usually would, because its frustrating the bejesus out of me!!!!

Sort it out woman!

Are there any charities that support women locally? Women's centres are usually amazing places to meet people to share stories and get help.
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They do not know jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing wasn't boring, it was peace."

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Old 01-02-2013, 03:20 PM
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I think it sucks that your parents are trying to set a time limit right away. You didn't do this on purpose or see this coming. Josh threw all this at you! You are pregnant with their grandchild and in a really bad situation financially at the moment. I don't know why they can't be more understanding. You don't need the pressure of a time limit at this moment. Why is he doing that? As long as you are making an effort to get a job, then when you do as long as you are contributing financially and helping out I don't see what his problem is. That really sucks.

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