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  #41  
Old 12-30-2012, 01:53 PM
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Dizzy Dizzy is offline
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I only buy for my immediate family.... Ie, bro, sis, parents. That's it. It makes life a lot easier!!!

I think it depends on your family. I come from a large family, so buying for cousins blah blah would be ridiculous.

Who doesn't like receiving nice presents though?? I can't say I count what things cost though.... I couldn't actually tell you what i spent on mine.

And for reference, there were a LOT of people saying they felt their secret Santa wasn't good enough after seeing what other people had sent. Which sorta implies that quality and quantity DO matter to a lot of people.
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  #42  
Old 12-30-2012, 01:55 PM
Saeleofu Saeleofu is offline
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Originally Posted by Fran27 View Post
No I took offense in the 'she's not blood related but we invited her anyway'. Which is absolutely horrible to read when you've adopted your kids. Can just imagine people saying 'oh they're not blood related but we invited them anyway'. YIKES. I guess I just find it sad that you don't understand why it's insensitive... and no matter how I try to explain, you won't get it.

But anyway, it's true Fran, all families have different expectations. I just can't really go and judge people who complain that they got bad gifts when I don't know their expectations
But that's different. If my brother had adopted children, they're still HIS children, and still my nieces/nephews. But the person in question is NOT my brother's adopted child. She is the child of two people entirely unrelated to me. She's not adopted. She's not a step-child.
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  #43  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:02 PM
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Haven't read the whole thread, but I was a little disappointed when my parents got my little sister an iPad 3 and a Kindle and a bunch of computer stuff, and gave me a pair of PJs.
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  #44  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:03 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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Dizzy that's why I don't do Secret Santa. I'd end up buying crap because I suck at it and people would be mad at me!
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  #45  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Fran27 View Post
It's not the same though. You can't go to a Christmas party empty handed.
Says who? Before my mother passed unexpectedly a couple years ago and my family essentially went into hiatus and stopped doing Christmas - because mom was the "matriarch" of both my immediate and extended family, and most flew in during the holidays, though the past couple of years we're kind of like chickens with our heads cut off - we had huge holiday get togethers. Not everyone brought gifts, and nobody kept a petty mental scoreboard.

Company Christmas party? I'm fairly certain you don't "have" to go, and you certainly don't have to bring gifts. Opt out of secret santa.

Friend's Christmas party? I'd have to re-evaluate my "friendship" with someone who expected me to show up to their party with gifts (though I'd bring gifts if I had enough time to plan them, like I said earlier I don't "do" thoughtless gifts).
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  #46  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:28 PM
SevenSins
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran27 View Post
No I took offense in the 'she's not blood related but we invited her anyway'. Which is absolutely horrible to read when you've adopted your kids. Can just imagine people saying 'oh they're not blood related but we invited them anyway'. YIKES. I guess I just find it sad that you don't understand why it's insensitive... and no matter how I try to explain, you won't get it.
Without any context, I can see why you might be offended at what she said. It didn't sound right to me either, the way it was originally written. After she explained it, it sounds like a child that isn't actually family, but gets included during holidays ... like if my sister (random example) was friends with my ex wife and decided to bring her kid, who isn't mine, to a family holiday party. The originally message still could have been written "better" but IMO it's not really offensive in that context.
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  #47  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:31 PM
Kilter Kilter is offline
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We make sure our kids are equal as far as what they get, both in cost and gifts. They're both young so it'd be hard to explain 'we spent everything on a computer for you, and the same amount for ten things for your sister'. They're both happy with their stuff, both the home made, the second hand and the brand new.

For the niece and nephew, we did their whole family one gift, a gingerbread house loaded with candy. They got our kids some very nice, expensive gifts, but that's fine, nobody was upset or insulted, and frankly if they gave our family nothing, I wouldn't really care, the kids wouldn't notice. What they budget is their thing, same as us - we don't call and say 'ok,so $100 per kid?' before hand. I do think though they waste money on a 15 foot real tree every year - not a cheap one either, I think their tree is our total Christmas budget, but again, who cares really, if they're happy.

The ONLY gifts I've ever not liked where from my parents/mother.

One was a small dog statue that I loved, and owned. It went missing from my room and I was very upset, looked EVERYWHERE for it, was heartbroken, asked everyone in the house if they'd seen it, and was even more upset when I found out it wasn't something I could replace (limited edition). Then to get it months later from the same jerks that insisted they didn't know where it was and watched me cry.... yeah. Got grounded for not being happy to get it of course.

Also got the smurfs Christmas album when I was about 14. Now understand the year before I got the Thriller album. And I never, ever, ever LIKED the smurfs. Granted the movie that just came out isn't as bad, but the cartoon creeped me out. I think I faked liking it that year, but the year before got in trouble for not being thrilled about high tops and a butt ugly sweater that happened to be exactly like the teacher in jr I had wore all the time and she was not a 'liked' teacher.

Needless to say I now work really, really hard at enjoying the holidays and remembering what is important, the kids and my own family (I am 'divorced' from my bio family thankfully, a gift that I enjoy - no contact from them this season!).

But in general a gift is a gift and it's the thought.
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  #48  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:34 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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Originally Posted by SevenSins View Post
Says who? Before my mother passed unexpectedly a couple years ago and my family essentially went into hiatus and stopped doing Christmas - because mom was the "matriarch" of both my immediate and extended family, and most flew in during the holidays, though the past couple of years we're kind of like chickens with our heads cut off - we had huge holiday get togethers. Not everyone brought gifts, and nobody kept a petty mental scoreboard.

Company Christmas party? I'm fairly certain you don't "have" to go, and you certainly don't have to bring gifts. Opt out of secret santa.

Friend's Christmas party? I'd have to re-evaluate my "friendship" with someone who expected me to show up to their party with gifts (though I'd bring gifts if I had enough time to plan them, like I said earlier I don't "do" thoughtless gifts).
I'm assuming family Christmas party. Which is what the people were complaining about in the first post. And for those I would feel definitely rude not to bring anything, at least if I knew others were getting me something.
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  #49  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:36 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SevenSins View Post
Without any context, I can see why you might be offended at what she said. It didn't sound right to me either, the way it was originally written. After she explained it, it sounds like a child that isn't actually family, but gets included during holidays ... like if my sister (random example) was friends with my ex wife and decided to bring her kid, who isn't mine, to a family holiday party. The originally message still could have been written "better" but IMO it's not really offensive in that context.
She's family. She's her brother's step sister. Or at least I would expect people to count step children as family..
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  #50  
Old 12-30-2012, 02:40 PM
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Fran its more like Chris and Lisa with their bio siblings. You don't count them (their siblings) as your children but they are Chris and Lisas sisters and brothers.
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