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Old 12-17-2012, 09:35 PM
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Question Goldens?

Not sure if this is the correct place, but it made the most sense.

My mother is looking for a Golden Retriever for my brother. He has ADHD and we believe a mild case of Aspergers'. He is getting better at socializing but we think it would help if he had a dog. My mom has also wanted a dog for a long time. She's done some research and believes a Golden would be best for them. There are a few problems, though. One, we can't afford a $2000 dog. She would prefer a purebred, only because she wants it to have a Golden's personality and temperament. I haven't found any rescues in our area, so it looks like a Golden might not work. Another issue is my brother and step father don't like dogs. They have always had cats. My step father is actually afraid of dogs.

So, how do I get my brother to be interested in dogs? I told him to pick out some breeds he liked and he did seem excited about it. He picked out a schnauzer, though. While my mom thinks a Golden would fit them, I don't want my brother to be uninterested in the dog.

Should we reconsider what breed to get? What are dogs that are usually mellow, good with kids, friendly, easy to like?

Do you know of any Golden rescues that we could talk to about getting a dog for my brother?

While the dog is for the whole family, we prefer to get a dog that my brother would like. And one that will fill his needs.

I'm just not sure where to go from here.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:41 PM
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Sorry to be a negative nancy, but...

If your brother doesn't like/want a dog, why are you so convinced it would be a good idea? I don't know any (legitimate) rescue or breeder that will send home a dog to a family where only half the members are on board.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Sorry to be a negative nancy, but...

If your brother doesn't like/want a dog, why are you so convinced it would be a good idea? I don't know any (legitimate) rescue or breeder that will send home a dog to a family where only half the members are on board.
I was wonderig the same thing.
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Old 12-17-2012, 10:47 PM
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Because it's not JUST for him. They are getting a dog. But would prefer him to like the dog and he has shown interest in them when his father isn't around. He prefers cats because that's all he's had and that's all his dad likes.

I doubt we would go with a breeder. I've looked at some local-ish breeders and they are out of the price range.

We hope he will like the dog and be open to playing with it, but his opinion isn't everything. I really do think he would like a dog. I have asked him several times and his attitude toward them is improving.
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:25 AM
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Take him to a couple of dog shows to meet different breeds and let him choose it!.Most breeds are good with kids but it all has to do with socialization.
Another great breed,with kids are boxers.
As for more insight,on the golden,join the:
goldenretrieverforum.com
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Old 12-18-2012, 04:32 AM
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I think you need to convince your stepfather first that a dog would be good for your bro. You said your bro appears to be interested in dogs but the father would be more influential.
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Old 12-21-2012, 12:46 PM
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Honestly, I don't think you need to rethink the breed as much as the motivation for getting a dog.

It sounds to me (and I could be wrong) as though your mother is using the whole "my son needs a dog" mindset to get what she wants, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.

You keep saying "they" are getting a dog. If your stepfather is afraid of dogs and your brother only shows interest in dogs when he's not around, then technically your mother is getting a dog. Is your step father not home a lot so that your brother has time to show interest in the dog?
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Old 12-21-2012, 01:03 PM
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How old is your brother? Has he been formally diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's?
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Old 12-21-2012, 01:09 PM
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My mom has always wanted a dog. My step father has had his way by having cats for several years. She was either thinking of a Golden or a small-medium sized breed.

My brother is 12. And yes, he has.

I realize I don't have enough information about what my mom wants/her plans to answer your questions. I just know she has been wanting a dog for a long time. My younger brother likes dogs. The one with the 'issues' is learning more about dogs and is becoming interested in them. My step father doesn't like dogs but my mom doesn't like cats. Sometimes you have to compromise.

My grandmother always always has a pet and is currently living with them. So 3 out of 5 want a dog. One is undecided and the other will still have his cat. Ideally, everyone would research every breed to see which one they would like and all be in the love with the dog, but I don't see that happening.
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:26 PM
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It sounds like the mother in this family wants a dog, she also thinks it will be helpful for her young son to have a dog for himself, and while the other members aren't "dog people", I'm assuming they're on board with other members of the household getting one...it sounds like a very large percentage of households, including many on Chaz, who are looking for a dog.

Your brother is 12 years old. It does not sound like he's spent a lot of time around dogs before or is very knowledgable about temperaments or breeds. He does not need to have very much of a say in this decision. Your mother needs to decide which breed is best for her whole family. I guarantee your brother will be much happier with a dog that has a temperament that your mother things can fit the household, than a dog he's picked based on a description in a book or looks.

Perhaps if she narrows it down to a couple of breeds, she and your brother (and maybe the other family members) can visit breeders or go to a dog show and see what they think about them in person.

If they don't have the money to spend on a breeder, why don't they just go look at some dogs in rescue? It sounds like a puppy isn't their best bet, anyway, and an adult dog - especially one in foster care - will have a well-known temperament and if it's a mixed breed, less potential health issues than a purebred from rescue. It also sounds like the family is unsure which breed will suit them, so a rescue can help them find an individual dog that will fit well.

ETA: Have them make a list of things like the size they want, energy level they want, requirements such as good with cats, how much grooming they are willing to do, etc, and focus on individual dogs rather than a breed. They can have an idea - such as lower-intensity sporting dog types or terriers (although that might not be a great idea with the cats), but I think choosing a specific breed in their case is going to make it harder and rule out a lot of good dogs - and potential bring in expensive health problems or cause family conflict.
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