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Old 12-13-2012, 10:53 AM
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Default Marriage and School.

How do you make it work? I've found a school that I would love to attend. However, the commute would be close to 4 hours, and with the program, you pretty much have to attend full time.

Josh has an awesome full time job at Pfizer right now, and we are in a pretty fantastic position with our rental. Thus, it would be pretty stupid to uproot and move up there for the 6 months it would take to get my certificate.

So, the question is, do I just suck it up and do the commute or do I live up there for a week (board is included in tuition cost), and come back home on weekends? It is a 16 week program, so it's not like it would be a long term situation, but it would still be hard. Plus, Josh works every other weekend, so there's that. Plus the pups. I would feel bad leaving him with Rider to deal with alone. Harlow is a piece of cake and mainly his dog anyways. Rider is mine, and without proper exercise, is hard to deal with. Those 52 hour weeks would not be fun for Josh and Rider.
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:00 AM
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Personally, I couldn't handle driving 8 hours a day! If the program is 8 hours a day (full time), you'll be gone for ~16 hours a day! THEN you'll have to factor in sleeping, studying, and doing the normal day to day things. I don't see how you'll have time to exercise the dogs on this schedule.

Since housing is included in the cost of tuition, you'll be saving a lot by living there. Not just money, but time.

I'm not sure what I would do, though. I'd have a VERY, VERY hard time being away from home for 4 months! Then again, it is only 4 months and it sounds like both you and your husband will be really busy during that time period anyway. Plus, you can always go home for weekends
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:01 AM
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Honestly if its only a 16 week program I would live in residence and come home on the weekends to visit. I don't think driving will be worth the cost of gas plus residence is covered already because of tuition and I bet you still will be finding you will be spending more time at school and driving then you will be with Josh and Rider.

Josh might just have to buckle up and do more with Rider. Plus on the weekends you can spend a lot of time with your dogs.
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I should add Tyler and I lived away from each other 4-8 months out of the year for 5 years while he was going to school. And what made it easier was visiting each other every other weekend or even once a month and staying really busy.
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:03 AM
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It's been hard enough as it is with me working 3 days a week on 1st shift, as he is on 2nd. I can't imagine going 16 full weeks with not seeing him or the dogs other than weekends.

Erg.
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meepitsmeagan View Post
It's been hard enough as it is with me working 3 days a week on 1st shift, as he is on 2nd. I can't imagine going 16 full weeks with not seeing him or the dogs other than weekends.

Erg.
I couldn't do it. I'm not the type of person who could live somewhere else away from my husband and pets for 16 weeks!

What kind of program is it? Is there a closer school you could attend?
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:23 AM
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It is a farrier program. There is another school that is a touch closer (about 2 hours), with a four week program. I feel like a month is not enough time to properly learn to trim and shoe a horse...
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  #7  
Old 12-13-2012, 11:32 AM
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I'd do it, and I'd live on campus/board there. It's only 16 weeks--that sounds like a really long time, but after, you'll probably be glad you did it. And you can still come home on weekends if you want!
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:33 AM
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Oh a farrier program that sounds really interesting. And I agree on the 16 week program being a lot better. And it sounds like you know its the way to go.

Honestly I think you can do it, you just need to set a goal in your mind and go for it. I bet those 16 weeks will just fly by, and be totally worth it.
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  #9  
Old 12-13-2012, 11:42 AM
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I know you guys are right... I just need a push to actually go do it. Doesn't make it any less difficult though. :/

I will always make up for lost time with Rider when he goes to work with me everyday!

In case anyone is interested, http://www.wfschool.com/about.htm
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  #10  
Old 12-13-2012, 12:00 PM
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I heard some really good advice early on in our marriage that I've tried to take to heart in every decision we have to make:

Don't do what best for you, or best for them. Do what is best for your marriage.

This program might be best for you, but is it best for your marriage? (I don't know the answer to that). Is being away for 4 months going to put a strain on your marriage? Is now the only time you can do it? Is there another option (like an apprenticeship) that would accomplish the same goals and keep you together?

Same for Josh--is him working long hours and/or keeping this job best for the marriage? (Again, I don't know the answer). Is there a way he can take a week of vacation each month to come see you? Can he work remotely for a few months?

The "Is this really best for my marriage?" question has made me choose a lot of paths over the last 5 years that I would not have chosen had I been single. That's okay though. I wouldn't trade what we have for all the opportunities in the world.

No one can figure out what the best option is except you guys. Lots and lots of talking and planning and making sure that you are both comfortable with the choice you make!
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