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  #11  
Old 03-11-2006, 01:08 PM
Miss_Miyasa Miss_Miyasa is offline
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OK, no offence, but that joke is off, the verision I always heard was...


Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say; “Jesus is watching you.”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around the room. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”

“Yes,” Said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then asked the parrot: “What is your name?”

“Moses,” said the bird.

“That is a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Moses?”

The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the rottweiller Jesus.”
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  #12  
Old 03-16-2006, 03:57 PM
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SweetMango SweetMango is offline
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Yeah, that's the one I heard!!
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  #13  
Old 08-11-2006, 06:52 PM
DogtorJ DogtorJ is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Default Talking Dog For Sale

A guy is driving around Florida and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"Really, now!!! So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I met a gorgeous female Lab, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's lying. He never did any of that spy stuff."
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  #14  
Old 08-11-2006, 06:56 PM
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Caren+Bailey Caren+Bailey is offline
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Lol :d
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  #15  
Old 08-11-2006, 07:28 PM
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Kase Kase is offline
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Haha lol .
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  #16  
Old 08-11-2006, 08:08 PM
DogtorJ DogtorJ is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Default Oops

Oops! I meant to post a new thread and hit "Reply". Sorry, didn't mean to jack the thread.
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"For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away." 1 Corinthians 13: 9,10

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease" Thomas Edison
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  #17  
Old 08-12-2006, 04:54 PM
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PixieSticksandTricks PixieSticksandTricks is offline
Athletic Labs. They Exist
 
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I have heard it before a few times but everytime I heard it the name was Jesus.
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