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Old 11-04-2012, 05:05 AM
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StephyMei1112 StephyMei1112 is offline
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Default Hypothetical question

If you were in a truly desperate scenario where you had no one to reach out to except for someone you truly despised/really couldn't get along with/was abusive to you in the past - and that person was really the ONLY kind of assistance/counsel/help you could get; I'm talking advice, financial aid, legal counsel, general assistance and so on. No family, no friends, no one else to go to- just this particular figure.

Managing things on your own would be next to impossible - would you work with that person and go thru the agony for the sake of the situation at hand (Note, person would be someone you REALLY could not deal with)? or just try to tough things out on your own no matter how scary or bad they might be or get?
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:24 AM
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I tend to be very independent and rarely ask for help even when I need it. So I'm pretty sure I would never ask someone I despise for assistance, no matter how desperate I may be.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:27 AM
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There is always someone else. There are charities and organizations that will help you get back on your feet, get you the mental health help you need, or provide you with a safe place to live. ESPECIALLY if you are escaping abuse of some kind.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:29 AM
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depends on the type of abuse and if I can make it in anyway without them and how they treat my children. If they treat me bad but the kids great and I have no choice yes I will because I cant let my children suffer.

ETA: This would be after I exhausted ALLL possibilities. Friends, local charities, EVERYTHING and only because I have children. Without them I would NOT.
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Last edited by darkchild16; 11-04-2012 at 08:55 AM.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:38 AM
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If somebody was abusive to me in the past I would have zero reason to think they would truly be any help, or that said help would come without strings attached. So that's a no.
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
There is always someone else. There are charities and organizations that will help you get back on your feet, get you the mental health help you need, or provide you with a safe place to live. ESPECIALLY if you are escaping abuse of some kind.
Quote:
If somebody was abusive to me in the past I would have zero reason to think they would truly be any help, or that said help would come without strings attached. So that's a no.
I agree with these two posts. And you can always talk to us Steph. Chazzers are pretty great when it comes to putting our heads together....and hearts.
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Old 11-04-2012, 09:24 AM
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It seems, a lot of the time, those who've been cruel aren't exactly helpful anyways.
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Old 11-04-2012, 09:41 AM
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I wouldn't. I have issues asking for help from people I like. I'd never ask someone I despised.

BUT this is coming from someone who packed a backpack and left home with maybe $3 on her own. XD So if you are wanting a comfortable life while getting through something I'm probably not the best person to ask.
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Old 11-04-2012, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkchild16 View Post
depends on the type of abuse and if I can make it in anyway without them and how they treat my children. If they treat me bad but the kids great and I have no choice yes I will because I cant let my children suffer.

ETA: This would be after I exhausted ALLL possibilities. Friends, local charities, EVERYTHING and only because I have children. Without them I would NOT.
Except that your kids are learning it's okay for people to treat their mom that way. I'd rather temporarily move the family to a shelter or a car. Abuse is so damaging to everyone, especially kids even if they only witness it.

I'd make something else work. But then, I'm super stubborn and I'd never ever go back to an abuser.

If they are were so awful, why are they offering assistance anyway? Abusers like to control. When someone gets away from them, they are no longer under the abuser's control. I suspect this person sees this as a way they can get you back into their control, and that is waaay creepy.

But then, what kind of assistance are they offering? Just, "here's $1000 no strings attached," with the hope that you'll feel indebted to them? Or "Move back in with me and you'll have a roof over your head." If it was just money I'd totally take it and not feel bad. lol. I'd see it as restitution for what they did.

I've had to live in my car and eat out of dumpsters before, and know pretty much every wild edible thing that grows around here. People don't really need a lot to survive, long or short term. And these sorts of things are almost always short term.
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Old 11-04-2012, 11:33 AM
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Well, I'm essentially doing that for the sake of my dogs at this point. Just trying to keep things together until I can make something happen.

It sucks, but I keep in mind something Dominique Francon said in The Fountainhead: "it can only hurt down to a certain point." (that may be paraphrased, it's been awhile since I read it). Beyond a certain point no one can touch me.
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