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  #1441  
Old 04-21-2013, 06:42 PM
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So, I'm not pregnant nor do I have any (human) kids, but I could use some help....

I'm worried I can't have children. I have planned to go to a new doctor for a few months now and I keep putting it off. I've always had issues with my...female stuffs and I hate hate hate going to the doctor.

I'm hoping posting this will make me keep my promise to myself to go to the doctor. At the very latest by June.

I know several of you said you thought you couldn't have children and still were able to conceive and have your child. For those of you that went through any treatments or doctor visits.... how did it go? How costly was it? Invasive? Pretty much any information you can give me.

My way of not freaking out so far has just been to avoid the subject, but I know that's not the way to go about this. And, if it turns I can't (naturally) have children, I would like to know now while it would be easier for me to have children with help.

I may just be freaking out for no reason.... But I'd rather be prepared for the worst than oblivious to the problem. (And, really, there IS a problem, it's just a matter of what the problem is.)

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I thought moms and moms-to-be could help me.

I also agree that dogs are SO SO SO similar to children. I think people take it too negatively. I treat my dog better than some people treat their children. It's all a matter of perspective.
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  #1442  
Old 04-21-2013, 07:21 PM
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Airn, I'm sorry you're worried about fertility issues Female part troubles are horrible enough to deal with without having to worry about infertility.

I'm not sure if I'm the best person to give you advice on this, as I got pregnant unintentionally with absolutely zero treatments, but I did think I was infertile or had fertility problems for a long time, and then they were confirmed by a doctor about a year before I got pregnant.

I was in a serious relationship for 4 years. I lost my virginity to him, using protection, and after that...we didn't. I was on BC for maybe three months, stopped taking it. I always had super regular periods, and we used the rhythm method, so it wasn't like we were trying, but after 3 years of that and not getting pregnant, we started to wonder if one of us had fertility problems. At one point I had an early miscarriage.

I've always had "issues" with my period, but it was continually brushed off by my mom/doctors when I was younger. Super heavy periods - enough to bleed through a pad an hour - accompanied by fainting and vomiting from cramps. The cramps I also felt in my thighs and up to my shoulders. Every single month I missed at least one or two days of school/work, sometimes more. They said it was PMDD.

When I started using a diva cup is when I realized the issue was definitely physical (because of the heavy bleeding), and saw a doctor. She said if it wasn't cysts or a hormone imbalance, it was endometriosis. I asked what that meant about having children and she said "A very low chance of fertility and difficulty carrying a pregnancy to term". I looked it up, and apparently 1-2% of women with endo don't have troubles conceiving.

I miscarried again, early, a few months later. I then went on the pill to prevent another miscarriage (at this point, I assumed the endometriosis was causing no problems conceiving, but problems having a healthy pregnancy...now I've heard mixed opinions on whether that's a medical fact). I missed my first period on the pill - not very weird, since I had started a new BC and just miscarried. Halfway through the second BC cycle, I started to feel sick, and stopped taking the pills because I thought it was them (BC has made me sick a few times before). I didn't start to feel better, and didn't get my period. Apparently, anti-seizure meds interact with BC pills and cause them to not work. No one told me that.

Part of me thinks I may have GOTTEN pregnant BECAUSE I took BC. I have nothing scientific to back that up, but it doesn't seem totally farfetched - sometimes medications have opposite effects on people, especially if they've got an abnormal health situation to begin with. So I don't know. Since I haven't really been tested for fertility, or tried to get pregnant, I'm not sure if it will be hard for me in the future and this was just an anomaly, or if I'm one of the lucky ones with endo and no fertility issues. I know fertility problems are a huge struggle and emotional/mental hardship for so many people, but medical issues that usually come with infertility isn't a definite, and even hearing a doctor say you'll deal with issues isn't a definite. You won't know until you try, really.
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  #1443  
Old 04-21-2013, 07:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
That's a good one Sparks

My surprise baby shower WAS yesterday and while I wasn't surprised by the shower part I was surprised by how many people came and how wonderful it was - I mean I knew it'd be really nice because my friend who's an awesome hostess threw it for me, but some of my friends came from out of town and some old friends I hadn't seen a while, some of my friend's moms came too. It was really important to me because I've been crying a lot for like two weeks because I'm really lonely and all my friends live so far away, and usually someone is always visiting for one holiday or family event or another, but the past few weeks everyone's been MIA. So I was so so so happy

Plus I got lots of nice presents AND the baby shower lasted almost 7 hours and afterwards a bunch of us sort of moved the after party elsewhere and kept hanging out AND we ended up stopping by to see two other friends that I haven't seen in a long time and didn't even know they were living around here anymore. AND the cake was so delicious.
That's awesome. Glad you had a great time with friends
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  #1444  
Old 04-21-2013, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Isn't it funny how similar dog training and child raising is? I'm blown away at how often my teaching methodologies and dog training strategies overlap. Positive reinforcement is a powerful thing.
I've heard my mom say to a student "Mattew, look at my eyes." I mentioned I have a similar command for the dogs-lol.
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  #1445  
Old 04-21-2013, 08:07 PM
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I've heard my mom say to a student "Mattew, look at my eyes." I mentioned I have a similar command for the dogs-lol.
Every once in a while I'll say to one of my 8th graders, "Sit. Stay. Good boy."
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  #1446  
Old 04-22-2013, 06:25 PM
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I'm kind of terrified of all the restrictions and things after given birth. I knew you couldn't drive for 2-6 weeks after a c-section, but the doctor just told me no driving for 2 weeks after a vaginal, either. Granted with my seizure history I probably wouldn't be doing that, anyway, but still.

I was also told I can't lift anything more than 10 pounds after giving birth - including the baby - for 2 weeks. UM. Baby in the car seat? Laundry? Milo? I feel like I lift 10+ pound things multiple times every day. And they said to limit stairs

I knew giving birth was strenuous and I'd be sore and tired and don't expect to keep the house perfect etc. etc. but I just don't think I was mentally prepared to be like...incapacitated after it. With a baby. To take care of. By myself.
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  #1447  
Old 04-22-2013, 06:32 PM
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Wow that does sound restrictive! I'm going to ask my doula friend if she has any input.
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:07 PM
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ok this is what my doula friend had to say:
Good grief! Way to scare her silly!

Sometimes birth goes hard, and then the recovery can be longer and more painful. But equally, many mums are up and about and reasonably normal very quickly!

It's probably wise to have plenty of support on stand by (which would be welcome anyway, even if the birth is wonderfully straightforward! Gives you time to relax and bond with your baby ) but I don't think its likely at all that she'll be completely incapacitated! I've never heard of driving restrictions on mums after a normal birth.... All that said, I really recommend a babymoon if she can wangle it. There's nothing like holing up in a "nest" with a brand new baby and being waited on hand and foot for a day or two, or three, or four....

I am curious why the dr says this. Perhaps all his patients have bad tears or episiotomies and need to be careful of stitches or something?? SOMETHING is making "his" mums come out of there in poor shape. In addition, it sounds like he has little confidence in her. Perhaps a second opinion from another health care provider might be helpful? It may be that at the very least, they could paint a more positive post partum picture, even if she stays with this dr.
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  #1449  
Old 04-22-2013, 07:28 PM
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It wasn't a doctor, it was a midwife. The hospital has an extremely "natural" approach to childbirth - for a hospital at least - pro-delayed cord clamping, babies only room in (or go to the nursery for serious complications), they don't weigh or measure the baby (separate them from mom) until an hour + after birth, advocates of skin-to-skin, etc.

When I asked why about the driving restrictions, she said that it was partially because in the days after birth, your reflexes are slower, you're likely to be exhausted and an unsafe driver, etc...as well as that babies under 2 weeks shouldn't be in the backseat without someone sitting next to them, just to make sure that they're able to handle the carseat and ride, breathe properly in that position, etc. So that makes sense to me. And honestly, I don't know why I was so freaked out by that, because with a seizure history (even if I can tell if a seizure is coming on), I'm not about to drive right after childbirth anyway.

I didn't ask about why the restriction on lifting. It's just in a pamphlet they gave me about care after coming home. I guess I can ask the midwife more about that at my next appointment. Maybe it's just shoved in their to avoid a lawsuit or something.
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  #1450  
Old 04-22-2013, 07:32 PM
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I think it's unfair to say that the doctor must have little faith in the mother or that the doc is doing something to produce poor recuperation. I think it's more like "we have to cover our bases so be as safe as possible to prevent tearing or excessive bleeding"

I had excellent care at the hospital where I gave birth and they gave the standard "lay off driving, heavy lifting and let your body heal for a few weeks" speech. When Hannah ended up in NICU for pneumonia the nurses told me when I was discharged that when I cane to visit I would need to be brought in and taken out in a wheelchair. It was their policy. Of course I didn't do that past day one and no one said anything about it but their bases were covered that they at least told me the policy.

Just do what you feel you can handle. The doctor has to give you the warnings so if you push yourself too much they can at least say they warned you. You won't be incapacitated but you will have your limits. Listen to your body
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