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  #1431  
Old 04-20-2013, 09:32 AM
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I'm like 99% sure my "surprise" shower is today. My friends and mom are really bad at surprises I'll let you all know how it goes
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  #1432  
Old 04-20-2013, 11:00 AM
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If your shower is today, I hope you have fun and get what you need!
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  #1433  
Old 04-20-2013, 01:52 PM
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I don't have any kids, but I read this somewhere about parenting advice and it just.. I wish more parents knew and I wish advice like this was more common.

"The way you talk to your children becomes their inner monologue."

It's so true..

What's the best parenting advice you ever received?
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  #1434  
Old 04-20-2013, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran101 View Post
I don't have any kids, but I read this somewhere about parenting advice and it just.. I wish more parents knew and I wish advice like this was more common.

"The way you talk to your children becomes their inner monologue."

It's so true..

What's the best parenting advice you ever received?
Best advice?

pick your battles.

you don't have to bring the hammer down on every little thing. Important things like manners, safety, behavior in public places, etc absolutely but how they wear their hair? their clothes? what and how they eat every second of everyday? let them figure it out.

Who CARES if they go out in a tutu and red cowgirl boots with a camoflauge baseball cap? Unless it's some formal event and as long as it's weather appropriate (no shorts and sandals when it's below freezing with a foot of snow on the ground lol) let them have that little bit of control in their life. is it worth a battle everyday so they wear what YOU want them to wear? no it's not and they should be comfortable so if that means some whacky outfit, get over it.

if they want to wear their hair up, down, sideways or all messed up, let it go. Seriously, this was a struggle for me. Hannahs hair is so fine and it's always hanging in her face, in her art projects, in her FOOD BUT it's not my hair and it will all come out in the wash so if she doesn't want her hair up I shouldn't force the issue.

What they eat. proper nutrition is important but power struggles at every meal over what and how much they eat is counter productive. Hannah went through a phase where she barely ate enough to keep a baby bird alive (she was also battling constipation so that's probably a big reason why) and we would battle over meals constantly. she needed more veggies, more fruit, more proteins, more FOOD. Finally I just stopped. I started talking about what I was making for dinner, letting her help make dinner (she likes to dice green peppers), and realizing that there are just certain things she doesn't like. Since I changed my approach away from combative YOU MUST EAT THIS to "here want to try some of what I'm making/help make dinner" etc... her favorite foods now include broccoli, cauliflower and asparagus and she is on a BIG fruit kick right now. Strawberries, grapes, kiwi, apples (she loves to dip apples in peanut butter), she'll eat those all day long.

There are certain meals I make that I know she genuinely does not like, I do not force her to eat them. I will make her something else because I knew before I made it that she didn't like it.

So... pick your battles. My sister has a 2 year old and she is so strict with her about every little detail and it's already starting to manifest into constant battles (partly due to age... terrible twos but partly due to being stifled). it's only going to get worse and lead to rebellion.

It's ok to have FUN with your kids. Still be the parent but you don't ALWAYS have to be the heavy unless it's necessary. ENJOY YOUR KIDS!!!!
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  #1435  
Old 04-21-2013, 08:17 AM
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That's a good one Sparks

My surprise baby shower WAS yesterday and while I wasn't surprised by the shower part I was surprised by how many people came and how wonderful it was - I mean I knew it'd be really nice because my friend who's an awesome hostess threw it for me, but some of my friends came from out of town and some old friends I hadn't seen a while, some of my friend's moms came too. It was really important to me because I've been crying a lot for like two weeks because I'm really lonely and all my friends live so far away, and usually someone is always visiting for one holiday or family event or another, but the past few weeks everyone's been MIA. So I was so so so happy

Plus I got lots of nice presents AND the baby shower lasted almost 7 hours and afterwards a bunch of us sort of moved the after party elsewhere and kept hanging out AND we ended up stopping by to see two other friends that I haven't seen in a long time and didn't even know they were living around here anymore. AND the cake was so delicious.
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  #1436  
Old 04-21-2013, 02:44 PM
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Don't have kids either but I was reading a book where the author said that he and his wife "try to parent so as to give our kids as few things as possible to have to unlearn as adults."
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  #1437  
Old 04-21-2013, 05:30 PM
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Now, as an adult, I'm really glad that my parents were so conscious of the way they spoke to me, kind of like what Fran mentioned. It was never "Don't run!!" but instead, "Please use your walking feet". Things like that. They were very strict, don't get me wrong, but even when they were laying down the law with me they were always trying to build me up. "We don't expect excellent grades because we expect you to be perfect, we expect excellence grades because we know how smart and talented you are."

The best compliment that my mother ever gave me; "I pushed you to excel and be great because I knew you were born to be a leader, not a follower." She has ALWAYS couched her advice and directives with praise, and I think it's made a huge difference in my self image and confidence.
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  #1438  
Old 04-21-2013, 05:38 PM
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That was another one I was going to bring up.

Don't tellchildren just what they have done wrong... Tell them what tey are doing right too

Thank them for helping out or having good behaviour or whatever it is they are doing right, even if it's something small.
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  #1439  
Old 04-21-2013, 06:03 PM
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Isn't it funny how similar dog training and child raising is? I'm blown away at how often my teaching methodologies and dog training strategies overlap. Positive reinforcement is a powerful thing.
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  #1440  
Old 04-21-2013, 07:28 PM
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Cali - people keep getting mad at me for saying that but it's so true!

Also: apparently no one thought to tell my stepsister I'm pregnant. I just sort of assumed my Dad would...ooops.
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