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  #11  
Old 10-22-2012, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmagick View Post
Just curious to what his variety of NILIF is? It is a great tool, no doubt but there are so many way to implement it and sometimes it can be pretty rough for the dog, causing anxiety
She only reliably sits & will hold a down... so basically to stop her tearing down the stairs he lets her out of her crate, asks for a sit at the top of the stairs, one on the landing & before she goes out the door. Also one before she comes in. I think that's it.
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  #12  
Old 10-22-2012, 11:25 PM
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You might explain to him that by thinking the dog is being an "a$$hole," he is being anthropomorphic....that is...attributing human things to non-human beings. The reasons behind rebellion (or for being an a$$hole, lol) for humans are not the same as dogs' reasons for what we may perceive as rebellion. A dog's value system is completely different from ours. They are not moral creatures one way or the other....don't have the complexity to weigh and measure things in such a way as to create rebellion. (rebellion by OUR moral code) They just aren't capable of that. So, they don't understand why they are being scolded or why we are anxious or nervous at what they're doing. They aren't even very aware of their own behavior...not unless it's something that they've been trained very well and they've had enough practice to finally connect their behavior to a consequence.

Since they don't share our value system and are amoral, then when they misbehave or act a certain, undesirable way, there's another reason....not that they're being a$$holes. A dog reason. We have to figure out where they're coming from and not base our figuring from our human perception, but from theirs. Dogs growl and snap because they're unsure, like you said. They are afraid or uncomfortable, untrusting. Very, very few dogs bite because they're being jerks. 9 times out of 10, there's something underlying that has built up to it. And we need to take steps to counter condition them.

We can't always know what is the cause and it doesn't always matter much. And that's because we have bigger brains and can change their minds usually, about what it is that's bothering them....regardless of how they got that way.

So, if your bf thinks Rage is being an a$$hole like a human would be an a$$hole, with human emotions and reasoning behind it.... and that is influencing his own behavior around the dog, that may exude some really bad vibes to Rage and he's picking up on this possibly antagonistic demeanor. And he remains distrustful of him.

That was probably clear as mud.
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  #13  
Old 10-23-2012, 07:09 AM
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Great post Dober! Especially this part:

Quote:
So, if your bf thinks Rage is being an a$$hole like a human would be an a$$hole, with human emotions and reasoning behind it.... and that is influencing his own behavior around the dog, that may exude some really bad vibes to Rage and he's picking up on this possibly antagonistic demeanor. And he remains distrustful of him.
My dad does this to Mu - at our house she's totally fine with him, at their house she barks and freaks out around him. And for awhile when she was a puppy he made things worse by acting like she hated him for no reason and he would purposely stomp around and raise his voice. When I pointed out that he was 1) being as large of a jerk as he claimed the dog was being and 2) pretty much ensuring that she would never like him because he was scaring her, he stopped. I'm not saying your bf is doing anything on purpose (and it sounds like he's trying) but that attitude doesn't help at all and if he can recognize that she's a DOG and let go of the idea that she thinks she's "getting away with something" I think it'll go better.

Quote:
Apparently she's better behaved when I'm not home... I don't really know why/what the deal is with that.
I hate it when people say things like this. My mom does it with Mu - "She does SO much better when you're not around." Uh, great Mom, but she's my dog and I'm often around so come up with helpful solutions or shut up. It doesn't really matter how she acts when you're not there if the problems occur when you ARE.

But, do you think you being there contributes to her anxiety? Can you try calming pills when you are there and see if that takes the edge off? Not long term of course, just so that it could take the edge off of her interactions with your bf.
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  #14  
Old 10-23-2012, 08:09 AM
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I don't know why so many people want to make a problem with dogs about a "principle of the thing" that doesn't even exist. It's just behavior, and he can either do things to change it, or not.
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