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Old 10-16-2012, 07:11 AM
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Default My parents are getting divorced

I'm just... I don't... I don't know what to say or how to feel about it.

My mom and step dad have been married over 20 years. My step dad and I are close.

My mom just called me today to tell me they are getting divorced. I guess I should have seen the clues. My mom recently bought a convertible, has been tanning a lot and is obsessing over losing weight even though she is already skinny. My step dad is military and only home every other weekend now and my mom's job has her traveling a lot so they don't see each other much anymore.

Still, maybe I'm just in shock, but I feel so upset over the whole situation and I feel like I'm about to lose my step dad.
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:25 AM
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I'm sorry You don't have to lose your stepdad though... send him emails, whatever it takes to keep contact.
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:32 AM
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(((((((somanyhugs))))))) I'm sorry Skittle. Will it upset your mom if you stay in contact with your step-dad?
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Old 10-16-2012, 08:05 AM
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I know it's a shock, but you do not have to lose your step dad. you're both adults and can continue any relationship you'd like from here on forward. Things will be different, but it doesnt' have to end.
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Old 10-16-2012, 08:34 AM
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(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) I'm sorry sweetie, but you know these things happen and you should want them to be happy if they can be.

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(((((((somanyhugs))))))) I'm sorry Skittle. Will it upset your mom if you stay in contact with your step-dad?
Honestly, I wouldn't take my mom's feelings into account in that situation. If she wanted me to handle the divorce as an adult, I'd expect HER to handle an ongoing relationship with my step dad as an adult *shrugs*
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:00 AM
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(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) I'm sorry sweetie, but you know these things happen and you should want them to be happy if they can be.



Honestly, I wouldn't take my mom's feelings into account in that situation. If she wanted me to handle the divorce as an adult, I'd expect HER to handle an ongoing relationship with my step dad as an adult *shrugs*
This. This isn't a small child the mom has to actively stay in touch with him so her daughter can still visit or talk to him. I don't see a problem with her staying in contact. And it sounds like he's been there almost her whole life.
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:02 AM
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Honestly, I wouldn't take my mom's feelings into account in that situation. If she wanted me to handle the divorce as an adult, I'd expect HER to handle an ongoing relationship with my step dad as an adult *shrugs*
I completely agree - it's just that when my grandpa got re-married (a couple YEARS after my grandma died) my mom and aunt acted like immature teenagers over it. People do weird things sometimes. And while I'm comfortable telling my mom she's acting like a brat...a lot of people aren't. And no matter how old you are, parental disapproval generally still carries some weight.
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:32 AM
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My mom said she doesn't care if I talk to him. Who knows. That may change, but no matter what she thinks I will always talk to him as long as he wants me to remain in his life. Thing is he has been my father figure growing up and I want to still consider him my dad.

I know things happen for a reason and they probably will be better off in the end, but it doesn't change the fact that it feels so weird right now.
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:43 AM
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I'm sorry ((hugs)) Divorce is so hard, no matter how old you are. My mom was shocked when her parents got divorced, she was in her early 30's, and they had been married for over 30+ years. It changes the whole dynamic of everything in a family (at least in our case). When they divorced, it seemed like the whole rest of the family was different... suddenly their house wasn't the place we went anymore for holidays, and get togethers, etc. It's an odd thing.

But my parents divorced when I was 10 and it was just as hard. It's a sucky thing all around, but generally works out for the best in the end. I'm sorry you have to go through it!
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:45 AM
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Amber , he IS your dad. Nothing will change that! Just keep on how you are contacting him and stay in touch . It will be awkard as you let it . so dont let it.

HUGS and just remember THERE problems are THERES and to leave you out of it.

HUGS
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