Dog Site - Dog Stuff
Dog Forum | Dog Pictures

Go Back   Chazhound Dog Forum > Dog Forum News > The Fire Hydrant


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #81  
Old 10-13-2012, 03:43 PM
yoko's Avatar
yoko yoko is online now
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 5,320
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran27 View Post
LOL. I admit I don't know many Asian people but all the ones I've met were quite different looking.
Once we got older when i did the teen camps it was really obvious who was who. But when we were all young, same height, same hair style, same tan it was really difficult.

I know I met one girl when I was a teen at the Dallas camp I went to who I SWORE had to be my real relative. She was a younger me. Same build, same face, same voice, same taste in music, we had a lot of the same clothes, same favorite movies, same sense of humor, our pets had the same names it honestly freaked me out. I think that was the last year I went.
__________________
Thank you Vivien and Angel Chicken for the siggy! Also I have been frosted!!! And as of 9/13/07 I know the secret handshake!


Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 10-13-2012, 08:07 PM
Dakotah's Avatar
Dakotah Dakotah is offline
Kotah BEAR
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: GA
Posts: 7,998
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran27 View Post
Actually it's that kind of thinking that bothers me... I know it's meant the best way, but I don't want my kids growing up feeling grateful that we adopted them, like they owe us or something, or even worse, that we saved them. I'm the one who is grateful that we adopted them. They were the greatest gift for ME. They could have ended in any family, but we are the lucky ones because we got chosen.

For me, adoption should be selfish. It should be about wanting a child, not wanting to 'save' them.
Oh I did not mean it in a bad way, I was actually trying to word it like you, it just came out in a bad way.
I meant no harm in anyway.
I definitely agree with your last sentence.
__________________
*War Eagle*
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 10-13-2012, 08:34 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10,240
Default

I know, lol. I know it all comes from a good place... and I guess I understand wanting to help a child too, especially older ones who wouldn't otherwise get a home.
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 10-14-2012, 04:25 PM
AliciaD's Avatar
AliciaD AliciaD is offline
On second thought...
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,559
Default

If you (or really anyone) is considering adopting a child of color, they should seriously consider if they even have friends who are people of color. If you don't have friends, or relatives, or a lot of diversity then there are unique challenges to raising a child of color, and not raising them in whiteness. Operating in whiteness is based around the ideology that white is always right, that "good" hair is straight and "bad" hair is curly, that lighter skin is prettier than darker skin, etc it means not seeing or acknowledging white privilege, etc. Just a thought.
__________________

Signature by aadufield, on Flickr

Proud owner of Cameron, a Chow Chow mix, and Duncan, a http://www.chazhound.com/forums/t141489/.
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 10-14-2012, 04:31 PM
yoko's Avatar
yoko yoko is online now
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 5,320
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AliciaD View Post
If you (or really anyone) is considering adopting a child of color, they should seriously consider if they even have friends who are people of color. If you don't have friends, or relatives, or a lot of diversity then there are unique challenges to raising a child of color, and not raising them in whiteness. Operating in whiteness is based around the ideology that white is always right, that "good" hair is straight and "bad" hair is curly, that lighter skin is prettier than darker skin, etc it means not seeing or acknowledging white privilege, etc. Just a thought.
That's asinine.

That's like saying a single father can't raise a daughter because they are operating in maleness and won't be able to handle the issues the daughter can face if she goes into a math or science major/job.

There are unique challenges but all those issues you listed are issues of bigotry and racism and not issues based on a white family raising a minority child.

Also lighter skin isn't always prettier. I'm a race that is suppose to be tan and I see numerous white women who are darker than me on a daily basis.
__________________
Thank you Vivien and Angel Chicken for the siggy! Also I have been frosted!!! And as of 9/13/07 I know the secret handshake!


Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 10-14-2012, 04:39 PM
AliciaD's Avatar
AliciaD AliciaD is offline
On second thought...
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,559
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yoko View Post
That's asinine.

That's like saying a single father can't raise a daughter because they are operating in maleness and won't be able to handle the issues the daughter can face if she goes into a math or science major/job.

There are unique challenges but all those issues you listed are issues of bigotry and racism and not issues based on a white family raising a minority child.

Also lighter skin isn't always prettier. I'm a race that is suppose to be tan and I see numerous white women who are darker than me on a daily basis.
OMG! I'm sorry my wording was bad!

I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT MEAN THAT A WHITE FAMILY CANNOT RAISE A CHILD OF COLOR! Simply that if they do, they should talk about social justice issues with their kid, although really, we should all talk about social justice issues with our kids. And really, many people are raised to operate in whiteness even when they are not raised by white people.

And I agree, lighter skin isn't always or mostly or usually or often prettier, but that the IDEA that it is is a symptom of operating in whiteness. This documentary is good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE5AaHertOQ
__________________

Signature by aadufield, on Flickr

Proud owner of Cameron, a Chow Chow mix, and Duncan, a http://www.chazhound.com/forums/t141489/.
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 10-14-2012, 04:42 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10,240
Default

I see what Alicia means, and it's the general feeling I get from a lot of transracial parents on adoption forums. Heck I'll be the first one to admit I don't know how to take care of AA girl hair, for example, and didn't even know it was such a big deal until I read about transracial adoption.
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 10-14-2012, 05:02 PM
milos_mommy's Avatar
milos_mommy milos_mommy is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,564
Default

I don't think Alicia's post was incorrect at all.

Of COURSE a single father can raise a daughter perfectly fine. But (and while things are certainly changing in this country as far as gender stereotypes and restrictions) I think it's safe to say that a single father, with no female family members and no female friends, who sends his daughter to a school where the teachers are primarily male and she has no female role models, is not going to be capable of raising a daughter to realize how to cope in the "real world". What happens when she goes into work and hits the glass ceiling? What happens when she is suddenly surrounded by women and judged harshly for things the men in her life just wouldn't judge her for?

I think if a child of color is brought into a white family, in a white neighborhood, where racism is a non-issue for the majority of the people around them, one of two things are going to happen. Either they will grow up feeling as they are the ONLY target of racism around, with no one to understand the issues they're facing, and feel extremely isolated and struggle immensely, or they are going to have a perfectly fine time because miracle of all miracles, this is a very progressive and understanding town and the child is sent to a good school and everyone accepts them and no one seems to notice they're different looking. YAY. Until they go to get a job somewhere, and they have all the same qualifications as the other candidate, who is also black...but lo and behold, the other candidate has grown up being discriminated against and knows that they aren't going to get a job unless they chemically straighten their hair so it looks like a white person's hair, but the other kid's grown up with white people who have had no idea what to do with their hair except for the easiest thing which is braiding it or dreading it or leaving it natural, and now they have no **** idea why that have no shot at that job.

I hope that made some sort of sense...it was kind of hard for me to type out.
__________________
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy



http://www.adorablebeasts.blogspot.com
Reply With Quote
  #89  
Old 10-14-2012, 06:05 PM
yoko's Avatar
yoko yoko is online now
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 5,320
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
I think if a child of color is brought into a white family, in a white neighborhood, where racism is a non-issue for the majority of the people around them, one of two things are going to happen. Either they will grow up feeling as they are the ONLY target of racism around, with no one to understand the issues they're facing, and feel extremely isolated and struggle immensely, or they are going to have a perfectly fine time because miracle of all miracles, this is a very progressive and understanding town and the child is sent to a good school and everyone accepts them and no one seems to notice they're different looking. YAY. Until they go to get a job somewhere, and they have all the same qualifications as the other candidate, who is also black...but lo and behold, the other candidate has grown up being discriminated against and knows that they aren't going to get a job unless they chemically straighten their hair so it looks like a white person's hair, but the other kid's grown up with white people who have had no idea what to do with their hair except for the easiest thing which is braiding it or dreading it or leaving it natural, and now they have no **** idea why that have no shot at that job.

I hope that made some sort of sense...it was kind of hard for me to type out.
I think the problem is some of these issues that you guys think pop up super often really don't.

I'm not saying certain times aren't trying but a lot of these issues that have been brought up are HIGHLY dramatized in movies, books and tv. Parents can handle things wrong and individual children can freak out and stress about it for their entire lives. But I'd say the majority of them end up as normal totally functional people, even those who didn't spend hours studying the culture the kids came from.
__________________
Thank you Vivien and Angel Chicken for the siggy! Also I have been frosted!!! And as of 9/13/07 I know the secret handshake!


Reply With Quote
  #90  
Old 10-14-2012, 06:35 PM
yoko's Avatar
yoko yoko is online now
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 5,320
Default

Again wanted to apologize if what I'm saying doesn't make sense. One of the hardest ongoing issue I've had to deal with is people's expectations on what I go through. It's not that you are totally wrong it's just some things you see as big issues end up really being nonissues.
__________________
Thank you Vivien and Angel Chicken for the siggy! Also I have been frosted!!! And as of 9/13/07 I know the secret handshake!


Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:27 PM.


1997-2013 Chazhound Dog Site