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  #21  
Old 10-05-2012, 06:23 PM
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Just to point out this IS close family we are talking about. Not just in blood relations but as in we care and talk oftenish. (hubby would stay at his house lots when working)

I am fine with letting more distant people know by FB.

In this case he died while with friends, so it was already spreading over FB and vs calling everyone in the wee hours of the night she told us through FB.
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  #22  
Old 10-05-2012, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
In this case he died while with friends, so it was already spreading over FB and vs calling everyone in the wee hours of the night she told us through FB.
Yeah to me this would be a case where, if you don't want to call people in the middle of the night, fine, but then it should have been kept off FB until morning after those people had been contacted. And, preferably, given time to contact those they needed to contact and come to grips with the news a bit.

But that's me.
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  #23  
Old 10-05-2012, 06:40 PM
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She couldn't keep it off FB. His friends were already posting about it. That is why I said in this case I kind of understood.

But then again I also made sure to call my parents so they didn't have to read about it. My mom was the most shocked and upset I have ever heard her.
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  #24  
Old 10-05-2012, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
She couldn't keep it off FB. His friends were already posting about it. That is why I said in this case I kind of understood.

But then again I also made sure to call my parents so they didn't have to read about it. My mom was the most shocked and upset I have ever heard her.
Oh gotcha...missed that part... :/
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  #25  
Old 10-05-2012, 06:54 PM
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I really think if it is bad news, a personal call is best (if we are talking close relationships). I also can understand why someone might use FB or email to notify people if there are too many to get in touch with in a timely manner. Let's face it--we live in an age of immediacy---and unless everyone is going to respect that it is someone else's news to deliver--I suspect we will all find out about things in this manner eventually.
In my family (we have a very large, but close extended family)--making phone call after phone call would indeed be very difficult to do, emotionally and logistically. We have a "phone tree" of sorts--so the news is shared, but does not put an undue burden on anyone person.
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  #26  
Old 10-05-2012, 07:04 PM
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Add me to the "it depends" side. When we found out we were moving I told everyone whom it would effect and my close friends first and then I announced it via FB.
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  #27  
Old 10-05-2012, 07:39 PM
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I see nothing wrong with it, it's a way of letting acquaintances and less-close friends know what happened. In Dekka's case I'd be bothered by it, since it was someone close. =/

Honestly? I would hope that someone would post about me when I kick the bucket, because most of my friends are online and I'd want them to be able to know without having to dig around.
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  #28  
Old 10-05-2012, 08:22 PM
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I think it's inappropriate and people really need to back off for a reasonable amount of time for family to be notified. Recently a fellow student turned instructor from my cos school was killed in a car accident. I was notified via PM on facebook, which I think is fine. I knew the woman personally and she was lovely, but I am not close family. Her 12 year old daughter found out via facebook because people wanted to post about it as fast as they could the day it happened. The worst part is that someone posted it a few hours after the accident and tagged her daughter in it.

So she found out her mom was killed via facebook with a scant article from the news showing her mom's car upside down on the high way. When my boyfriend's parents were dying (separately) his older brother would "check in" constantly at the hospital and notified his facebook by checking in at the funeral home the morning she died with some bullshit saying "The next stop in mom's journey." I was there the whole time and at no point was family called before that.
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  #29  
Old 10-05-2012, 08:23 PM
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Sometimes it's the most expedient way to reach a big group of people. It's not pretty, but it works.
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