Broke people making more kids...

[Barbara!]

I haven't read the thread.

I would agree that planning for and having more children while on government assistance is extremely irresponsible and selfish. I would also say that if you are on government assistance and you aren't TRYING to find a job (and aren't disabled), then you might be somewhat irresponsible in that area as well.

Our country is supposed to PROMOTE the general welfare. Not create it.

[Romy]

Originally Posted by Jenne

I also think after 6 months of collecting you should either show attempts to earn a living or going to school with 3.0 gpa. As long as you are enrolled in school and haven't earned a degree but are showing that you following that path you can continue to collect. Once your program ends you have another 6 months to locate a job. After that, all bets are off. Of course, this would be in an economy where there is a job market. Right now I've been unemployed for over a year and I've been job searching the entire time in multiple states.

In WA you're required to enroll in the Work First program, where they help you get a job or get you back in school enrolled in a degree program or vocational retraining that is geared specifically toward a job (so no, you can't get a degree in philosophy on their time). They've also got a lifetime cap on the number of months you can receive welfare. It's pretty strict really.

[Jenne]

That is young though I don't see how it matters. I knew since I was 14 that I never wanted to be pregnant. But I can understand how a DR might consider it too young.

[darkchild16]

Originally Posted by Jenne

That is young though I don't see how it matters. I knew since I was 14 that I never wanted to be pregnant. But I can understand how a DR might consider it too young.

Basically the response I got is your too young to know for sure if your done or not and what if you divorce your husband the next man might want kids and on and on and on

[Gypsydals]

Originally Posted by sassafras

LOL I hope no one here considers food a birthday present.

Depends on the food. LOl My birthday present from the husband every year is dinner out at MY choice of restaurant with the understanding I can get what ever I want. Granted I go to the same restaurant every year.
But in general no food should no be considered a present.

I agree with most on here while on assistance you should not plan for another OR adopt (yes I have seen it happen, it is currently happening with a co-worker) child. Yes accidents do happen.

[sassafras]

Originally Posted by darkchild16

Basically the response I got is your too young to know for sure if your done or not and what if you divorce your husband the next man might want kids and on and on and on

Yea I've heard of a lot of women who got that exact attitude. Heck, when my husband had a vasectomy in his 30s we had to jump through all sorts of hoops first, including a little counseling session and each of us writing a separate, handwritten statement saying that we understood what the procedure was for and that it was permanent. WELL NO EFFING SH*T.

[Lyzelle]

Originally Posted by darkchild16

Basically the response I got is your too young to know for sure if your done or not and what if you divorce your husband the next man might want kids and on and on and on

Women's healthcare is such a joke in this country. I love how everything isn't based on the woman's wants, but what the insurance companies, doctors, and her husband wants. But they still charge her ridiculously for it.

[darkchild16]

Originally Posted by sassafras

Yea I've heard of a lot of women who got that exact attitude. Heck, when my husband had a vasectomy in his 30s we had to jump through all sorts of hoops first, including a little counseling session and each of us writing a separate, handwritten statement saying that we understood what the procedure was for and that it was permanent. WELL NO EFFING SH*T.

We went through that too. And here he can get discounted services for it (they do it on a income sliding scale) but he has to drive 4-5 hours to get it done. Its beyond ridiculous. Between the 2 of us we have FOUR kids even 3 is alot when twins run in the families.

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

Women's healthcare is such a joke in this country. I love how everything isn't based on the woman's wants, but what the insurance companies, doctors, and her husband wants. But they still charge her ridiculously for it.

Tell me about it. Jeremy was right there begging for it with me and they turned to him and said most likely you wont be her only partner . BUT if you knew that office it would make sense. Im sure some of the people who were around when I had Morgan remember the HELL i went through with them.

[StephyMei1112]

*From Parents Canada page on Tubal Ligation & Vasectomies:

"For the most part, women don’t have any difficulty getting the go-ahead for sterilization, but in rare cases, women are denied by doctors. Not long ago, women were not considered suitable for sterilization unless they were over 40, had two children (one of each gender), and were married. In 2009, Tarrah Seymour, a 21-year old Toronto woman who was married with two kids, made national headlines when her obstetrician denied her the procedure – but this is the exception rather than the rule. "

http://www.parentscanada.com/family-...tubal-ligation

I'm not in any hurry to get it done - but will probably go through with it eventually. I've more pressing matters on my hands at the moment and I'm not sure if my MSP will cover it/contribute anything to it.

Tagroy,

I just figured it's better to be honest with myself. Everyone has been/is egging me on to have kids as soon as possible - it's me that has been really pessimistic and being very critical of myself. Children don't ask to be brought into the world and they don't get to choose their surroundings or families. At the very least they should be made to feel loved, cherished, safe, comfortable with basic necessities (shelter, food, clothes, and health care), and that they always have someone they can rely upon. I couldn't provide properly for a child nor am I remotely interested in children of my own - so it's pointless to kid around with myself about it.

Romy,

I've seen that quite alot actually - mothers that (for a variety of reasons) decide initially that they want to give their child up early in the pregnancy/upon finding out but by the time the hold their baby in their arms...they can never let go. I've never been pregnant so obviously I couldn't say anything about the experience - no doubt it is very very arduous and alot of work but I doubt I'd enjoy it much...I doubt even more that I would change my mind about adopting the baby out after it was delivered either. But that's just me...

[Romy]

Originally Posted by StephyMei1112

Romy,

I've seen that quite alot actually - mothers that (for a variety of reasons) decide initially that they want to give their child up early in the pregnancy/upon finding out but by the time the hold their baby in their arms...they can never let go. I've never been pregnant so obviously I couldn't say anything about the experience - no doubt it is very very arduous and alot of work but I doubt I'd enjoy it much...I doubt even more that I would change my mind about adopting the baby out after it was delivered either. But that's just me...

It's definitely very individual. One of my cousins has given birth to three children. Her first was a teen pregnancy and she decided it was best to do an adoption. She never met her daughter beyond giving birth, but does get pictures every year. She looks forward to seeing them.

She told me that the first pregnancy, the whole time she felt like she was carrying someone elses baby. And while she loved the baby, it actually made it easier to let go that time to think of her as someone elses. The second and third were planned, and she's a great mom to them. I think she would have been a great mom to the first as well, but she did what personally worked for her and her family.

I don't think I could have given one of mine up even if I was teen pregnant. Her sister had a teen pregnancy and kept him. It was hard, but she raised him on her own and he turned out awesome. She also had two more after him and they're both great kids.