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  #131  
Old 10-04-2012, 02:42 PM
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If having children are a priority, then you ought to make life choices to support that priority. It's frustrating when people who made the choice to not pursue further education (college, trade school, apprenticeships, anything), choose not to stay with a job long enough to move up the ladder, and choose to live in areas without jobs or areas with high costs of living then complain about not being able to afford kids. No, you chose not to be able to afford kids.

We all have things we value in life. For some of us, it's pets, a nice house, leisure time, time in nature, a family, whatever. Whatever it is, we're responsible for making the choices that make those goals a reality. If you choose to not go to continue your education in any way and only pursue minimum wage jobs, then in my mind you should not be choosing to have children.

My brother-in-law has never wanted anything more than to be a dad. Yet he screwed around in high school, didn't want to apply to college, and has worked minimum wage jobs for years on and off (he'll get bored or frustrated and quit and get a different minimum wage job). He really wants to be a stay-at-home dad. His live in girlfriend is an art major though (not exactly a high $$$ field). The choices he's making in his life are leading him to where it would be very irresponsible to have children (many months he and his gf are barely paying all the bills--when emergencies come up, he has to borrow from mom & dad). If he had a kid right now, no one would be pleased with him...just not the right choice to make.
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  #132  
Old 10-04-2012, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by zoe08 View Post
Our idea of poor these days is so far from really being poor. Now people think they are poor because they can't cover the cost of food AND an Iphone, so they think they deserve food stamps so that they can spend their other money on iPhones, or expensive purses, shoes, clothes, video games, etc.

We don't make a lot of money. We are a 1 income household and make way less than the national median. Growing up we lived on about $25,000/year....never used food stamps/welfare/medicaid, and while we qualified for free lunch, my mom still picked me up everyday and fed me lunch too! I have a family that has said, no one can live on $25,000/year..little did they know that my parents managed without using govt assistance! The thing is people don't want to make it work, and take responsibility when they can get "free money". Buy a smaller house, a cheaper car, skip getting your nails done, you don't need internet on your phone, and many people who claim to be so poor, and who get government assistance spend more on their kids Christmas than we do!

If it was because they were really truly so poor, I would be a lot more concerned. (Yes some people really are THAT poor, but not half the country) We make choices, and I get so tired of seeing people say they have to eat beans and rice for the rest of the month, however they just posted a picture of the new such and such they just got from their iphone.

When we had Mason we would have qualified for WIC, and since we had to use formula, free formula would have been awesome, but I didn't do it because we didn't NEED it. It is not right to accept assistance if you really do not NEED it. At the time we had satellite, which is about $60/month, if we could afford satellite, we could afford formula. If we couldn't then we could have cut the satellite to cover the cost of the formula. We do not NEED satellite TV, my child does NEED to eat, it is mine and my husband's responsibility to make sure that is possible. If it means giving up satellite, then that's what we do, we don't accept assistance just so we can keep our luxuries, that is not what it is for.

And you do NOT need a college degree to make more than minimum wage.

My husband's friend that works with him is totally impressed with how we make it on our income, because they have 2 incomes and say there is no way that she could stay home right now and just live off his income, even though he actually makes a little more than my husband. It is not really about "ability" it is about the desire to (in the words of Tim Gunn) MAKE IT WORK.
Bravo!!
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  #133  
Old 10-04-2012, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
If having children are a priority, then you ought to make life choices to support that priority. It's frustrating when people who made the choice to not pursue further education (college, trade school, apprenticeships, anything), choose not to stay with a job long enough to move up the ladder, and choose to live in areas without jobs or areas with high costs of living then complain about not being able to afford kids. No, you chose not to be able to afford kids.

We all have things we value in life. For some of us, it's pets, a nice house, leisure time, time in nature, a family, whatever. Whatever it is, we're responsible for making the choices that make those goals a reality. If you choose to not go to continue your education in any way and only pursue minimum wage jobs, then in my mind you should not be choosing to have children.

My brother-in-law has never wanted anything more than to be a dad. Yet he screwed around in high school, didn't want to apply to college, and has worked minimum wage jobs for years on and off (he'll get bored or frustrated and quit and get a different minimum wage job). He really wants to be a stay-at-home dad. His live in girlfriend is an art major though (not exactly a high $$$ field). The choices he's making in his life are leading him to where it would be very irresponsible to have children (many months he and his gf are barely paying all the bills--when emergencies come up, he has to borrow from mom & dad). If he had a kid right now, no one would be pleased with him...just not the right choice to make.
Perfecto!

I worked at Publix for a couple of years through high school. I started at $6.25, and left making $8.50. I only worked 15-20 hours a week on average, and still, I was given raises. Minimum wage isn't minimum wage for life if you STICK with the job. Like I said, it's very easy to move up in that company. If you WANTED to be a manager and were driven, then you could make that happen.
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  #134  
Old 10-04-2012, 02:47 PM
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Ok I stopped reading on page 5 just to post this thought real quick before I keep going:

There is a 100% effective birth control method: DON'T HAVE SEX. If you have experienced failed birth control more than once and had children from it, try not having sex until you figure out what went wrong. Sure, people who are married and love eachother should be able to have sex and whatnot but realistically, if you're risking bringing another unplanned child into the household every time you have sex, shouldn't you be reconsidering your options?
In my case, the first failure was spermicide X condom. We were using it correctly, but the condom broke and I don't know what the deal was with the spermicide. Maybe the store sold expired stuff. I don't know.

It wasn't a disaster. We were trying before that without success, and were only trying to prevent a kid because I needed dental work. Oh well.

The second time around we did NOT use the same type, I was on the pill. And the geniuses at Planned Parenthood gave me a pill pack that was 7 months expired. They don't work when they're expired. -.- I wouldn't hesitate to use the pill again because the cause was determined, but I'd definitely be checking the dates before starting a pack.

Like I said, crap happens. There's not only one type of birth control failure.
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  #135  
Old 10-04-2012, 02:59 PM
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Abstinence is unrealistic anyway....for teens and adults. It's a nice thought, but it's sex. It is going to happen. From contraception to abortion I believe there should be more low-cost options though.

or start unloading the gun before trying to shoot bullets at a bulletproof vest.
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  #136  
Old 10-04-2012, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Jessie~ View Post
Perfecto!

I worked at Publix for a couple of years through high school. I started at $6.25, and left making $8.50. I only worked 15-20 hours a week on average, and still, I was given raises. Minimum wage isn't minimum wage for life if you STICK with the job. Like I said, it's very easy to move up in that company. If you WANTED to be a manager and were driven, then you could make that happen.
A family member of mine started at Target stocking the warehouse. Now he works for Target making I believe a 6 figure income. Granted, he did work at Target while he went to college, but I don't believe what he went to college for was related at all to what he does at Target.
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  #137  
Old 10-04-2012, 03:06 PM
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A family member of mine started at Target stocking the warehouse. Now he works for Target making I believe a 6 figure income. Granted, he did work at Target while he went to college, but I don't believe what he went to college for was related at all to what he does at Target.
It's really awesome how quickly people move up the ranks in these stores- they pay very, very well too.

A friend of mine in college actually had to turn DOWN a management promotion at Target because she was concentrating on college. She had been there since high school and they really wanted her to move up.
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  #138  
Old 10-04-2012, 03:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Romy View Post
In my case, the first failure was spermicide X condom. We were using it correctly, but the condom broke and I don't know what the deal was with the spermicide. Maybe the store sold expired stuff. I don't know.

It wasn't a disaster. We were trying before that without success, and were only trying to prevent a kid because I needed dental work. Oh well.

The second time around we did NOT use the same type, I was on the pill. And the geniuses at Planned Parenthood gave me a pill pack that was 7 months expired. They don't work when they're expired. -.- I wouldn't hesitate to use the pill again because the cause was determined, but I'd definitely be checking the dates before starting a pack.

Like I said, crap happens. There's not only one type of birth control failure.
If I were in a position where I couldn't afford to have children, I'd be using more than 1 or 2 types of birth control. The pill isn't foolproof, but adding in a condom makes it more difficult for an accident to occur. Extra protection would be to chart when you ovulate. And even with all 3, if the condom breaks you can use the morning after pill (Plan B).

Less accidents happen when you're really careful and proactive. If I had one accident happen, I'd be very careful about preventing another.

My mom ended up pregnant with my sister while on the pill... they could definitely afford her, but it was quite a surprise. If I didn't want children, I'd always double up for that reason. lol.
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  #139  
Old 10-04-2012, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Jessie~ View Post
If I were in a position where I couldn't afford to have children, I'd be using more than 1 or 2 types of birth control. The pill isn't foolproof, but adding in a condom makes it more difficult for an accident to occur. Extra protection would be to chart when you ovulate. And even with all 3, if the condom breaks you can use the morning after pill (Plan B).

Less accidents happen when you're really careful and proactive. If I had one accident happen, I'd be very careful about preventing another.
Most of the time, using more than 2 almost guarantees failure. Spermicide is known for wearing down condoms. You can't have more than one type of hormonal birth control, or they cancel themselves out and become useless. Charting ovulation is nice and all, but then you have women who aren't regular, who don't know when they ovulate, the random type they ovulate early or late, so on so forth.

More is not necessarily better.
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  #140  
Old 10-04-2012, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Lyzelle View Post
Most of the time, using more than 2 almost guarantees failure. Spermicide is known for wearing down condoms. You can't have more than one type of hormonal birth control, or they cancel themselves out and become useless. Charting ovulation is nice and all, but then you have women who aren't regular, who don't know when they ovulate, the random type they ovulate early or late, so on so forth.

More is not necessarily better.
Condom + pill + charting = better than any of thse alone.

And you can use Plan B WHILE on the pill.
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