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  #1  
Old 09-05-2012, 12:20 AM
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sillysally sillysally is offline
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Default Need Advice-I'm a Wuss....

Last year over Labor Day weekend, my 19 year old cousin hung himself at the foot of the basement stairs in the house he shared with my dad and uncle.

I should point out that unfinished basements give me the creeps and always have. I really don't even like to go in my own unfinished basement, especially at night, so the idea of spending any time in a basement where someone I loved died horribly totally freaks me out. I had never been in the basement at my dad's before my cousin's death, and have not wanted to go since. Then this last February my uncle (dad's other housemate) passed away suddenly while away at a work conference. While DH and I were helping dad go through and straighten things (uncle was a hoarder), I accidentally opened the basement door thinking it was another room.

If I had been able to prepare myself beforehand I think I would have been ok, but pulling open the door, thinking it led to a different room, and instead looking down at the spot Brandon had died was an awful shock-it was like a punch to the gut. I had to actually go sit down for a bit to collect myself. In my mind's eye when I picture the basement stairs I just see him hanging there--it's really horrible

My plan was to avoid the basement at all costs and hope that dad would move before I ever had to go down there. However, now dad has gotten sick and has been in the hospital for a week now. He is not going to be able to go up and down the stairs for a while and the washer and dryer is in the basement, so I don't think my plan of avoidance is going to work.

I feel like such a child-I'm 31 and should be able to get over it, but I'm really truly dreading this and it's stressing me out. Am I nuts for being this skeeved out? Any advice for how to deal with this as painlessly as possible?
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:33 AM
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Romy Romy is offline
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(((hugs))) I'm so sorry for all the losses you've had lately. That's just horrible.

Can you have Jack with you at your dad's? I'm thinking this through in terms of SD teams/tasks. Here's some random ideas, maybe they'll spark something that's actually useful:

Send Jack down the stairs first to check it out and be moral support

Teach Jack to brace and walk alongside you down the stairs (this is really easy to teach)

Where is the light switch? If there's not a light at the top of the stairs, can you run some wiring up and stick one in?

Only do laundry when someone else is home that will come with you

Move the washer/dryer upstairs

Go to a laundromat
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:35 AM
Saeleofu Saeleofu is offline
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Honestly, if it's that big of a deal, I'd probably opt to go to a laundromat. It may be the least traumatic option.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:38 AM
JessLough JessLough is online now
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laundromat.

If you have to go down, is it dark going down to that area? Can you bring a flash light so you can at least see where you're going? Bring a dog?

I'm so sorry you're going through this Definitely not a wuss. (((((((((hugs)))))))))
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:41 AM
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I'd be just as much of a wuss as you. The basement at my parent's old house back in Kansas always creeped me out, even though it was finished, we had spent a lot of time down there and to my knowledge, no one had ever died in it. But it always had this freaky vibe to me and even as I got into my late teens/early 20's, it still creeped me out to go down late at night and you could forget me ever going down on my own if the power was out.

I am so sorry for your loss and second the idea of bringing Jack with you and sending him down first.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:55 AM
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StephyMei1112 StephyMei1112 is offline
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(hugs) So sorry about what happened.

If it was someone dear to me I would feel quite spooked as well; if it was someone that wasn't so dear though...I have to admit, it would be a thrill/adventure for me.

Perhaps a laundromat that's close by? or having someone go down with you to load/pick up the clothes? I second moving the laundry facilities upstairs as well.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:32 AM
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Laundromat. My roommate hung herself in our apartment last year... I pretty much stopped going upstairs for months.

It's not a stupid, irrational fear... it's a traumatic event. Give yourself as much time as you need. ((hugs))
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:46 AM
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It's a little out there, but would it help if you had someone come out to bless or spiritually cleanse (sage burning, candles, etc.) the house/basement?
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Old 09-05-2012, 08:15 AM
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I don't think you're being a wuss at all. I would be majorly upset by that too. I don't even know how you would be able to prepare yourself for opening that door or going down there... just... I don't even know. ((((((HUGS))))))
I agree with the idea of a laundromat, or maybe just taking the laundry back to your place and do it at home?
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  #10  
Old 09-05-2012, 10:01 AM
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First off ((hugs)) You are not a wuss at all! I totally understand your fears. My brother drowned at a country club pool and I sometimes have to walk by it (without even SEEING the pool itself) and my stomach twists and turns into knots. It took me a LONG time before I was able to even sit around a public pool at all without picturing him drowning, and laying on the side of the pool, etc, etc. It's an awful feeling.

I agree on the laundromat suggestion!
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