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  #6411  
Old 06-16-2013, 07:50 PM
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Airn Airn is offline
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Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Hang in there Stick to your guns about what you want/need/deserve, and don't let him sweet talk you into something you don't want.

When things are uncomfortable, I always remind myself that this is the worst it is ever going to feel, and that every day it will be a little bit easier. If I can get through today, I can get through the rest of it.
Thank you.

I feel it would almost be easier if I hated him. But as it is, nothing's really 'wrong'. I'm just not happy. I don't feel like this is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. But we live together and that won't change. It would easier to just break up and move to different places but... that's not really an option. Which seriously hinders the "We are broken up" mind-set....

Just gonna try to be nice but firm and hope he doesn't freak out.
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  #6412  
Old 06-16-2013, 08:37 PM
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Gosh Airn, I'm sorry you are going thru that, it's makes it worse when nothing is really "wrong" in the relationship. Then the other person feels blindsided , a hard situation all around
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  #6413  
Old 06-16-2013, 08:42 PM
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Eep, how long are you tied to living together? I'd try to fix that situation any way possible, because you're right--as long as you're living in the same place it is going to be very difficult to truly be broken up.
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  #6414  
Old 06-16-2013, 08:47 PM
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Eep, how long are you tied to living together? I'd try to fix that situation any way possible, because you're right--as long as you're living in the same place it is going to be very difficult to truly be broken up.
We just signed a year lease.... And he moved from Wisconsin to be with me here, in Arkansas. So I feel twice as bad. He has no where else to go. And neither of us can afford rent on our own.... Thankfully it's a two bedroom so we might be able to work something out. And if I have to, I can stay at my dad's place. But he'd still be tied to this apartment.

I'm not seeing many options....
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  #6415  
Old 06-16-2013, 08:53 PM
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We just signed a year lease.... And he moved from Wisconsin to be with me here, in Arkansas. So I feel twice as bad. He has no where else to go. And neither of us can afford rent on our own.... Thankfully it's a two bedroom so we might be able to work something out. And if I have to, I can stay at my dad's place. But he'd still be tied to this apartment.

I'm not seeing many options....
Leases can be broken. Generally you pay whatever fee is stipulated (unless they find a new renter), but it's an option. Check the rental documents you signed. When my husband and I had to break our lease, we found a new renter on craigslist and presented them to the leasing office to take over our lease. We discounted the rent to them by $200/month for the remainder of the lease to make it worth it for them, and all parties were happy.

You could also find a roommate to pay half the rent, and have one of you move out. Then the remaining party has the same rent obligation as before.

Or, you could see if you can downsize to a 1 bedroom place without paying any fees to management, if one of you could swing the cost on your own. The other party could be released from the lease.

Just brainstorming, if this is what you want to do.
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  #6416  
Old 06-16-2013, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Leases can be broken. Generally you pay whatever fee is stipulated (unless they find a new renter), but it's an option. Check the rental documents you signed. When my husband and I had to break our lease, we found a new renter on craigslist and presented them to the leasing office to take over our lease. We discounted the rent to them by $200/month for the remainder of the lease to make it worth it for them, and all parties were happy.

You could also find a roommate to pay half the rent, and have one of you move out. Then the remaining party has the same rent obligation as before.

Or, you could see if you can downsize to a 1 bedroom place without paying any fees to management, if one of you could swing the cost on your own. The other party could be released from the lease.

Just brainstorming, if this is what you want to do.

Breaking the lease, I believe is only $300. I could perhaps have a roomate, he could not. He really knows no one and is not someone who would be comfortable with living with a stranger.

Our apartment won't let us handle over the lease to someone else. They're strict about that.

As much as it might suck to live together, I would still like to try it.... Because all the other options just seem impossible. I really like this place. And, even though I don't think I'm in love with him anymore, he's still my friend. I don't want to just say "See ya" and throw him out. His family would not help him. Going back to Wisconsin, if it's even possible, would be a dead end. We have spent the last year and half working so hard to be independent and build our live's together....

I almost feel like I'm not sad enough about it. I am sad, don't get me wrong. But I'm not devastated. It's a bit of a relief. If this can be a clean break.

We might be able to swing a three bedroom apartment and get a roommate. But we have only been in this place for a month... I'm not sure they'd be too keen on us already changing plans. And moving sucks.

Thanks for the help, though, guys. I've never had to deal with this and it's pretty far over my head.
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  #6417  
Old 06-16-2013, 09:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Airn View Post
Breaking the lease, I believe is only $300. I could perhaps have a roomate, he could not. He really knows no one and is not someone who would be comfortable with living with a stranger.

Our apartment won't let us handle over the lease to someone else. They're strict about that.

As much as it might suck to live together, I would still like to try it.... Because all the other options just seem impossible. I really like this place. And, even though I don't think I'm in love with him anymore, he's still my friend. I don't want to just say "See ya" and throw him out. His family would not help him. Going back to Wisconsin, if it's even possible, would be a dead end. We have spent the last year and half working so hard to be independent and build our live's together....

I almost feel like I'm not sad enough about it. I am sad, don't get me wrong. But I'm not devastated. It's a bit of a relief. If this can be a clean break.

We might be able to swing a three bedroom apartment and get a roommate. But we have only been in this place for a month... I'm not sure they'd be too keen on us already changing plans. And moving sucks.

Thanks for the help, though, guys. I've never had to deal with this and it's pretty far over my head.
(((((HUGS)))))

You can do it. And there's nothing wrong with not being devastated. <3
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  #6418  
Old 06-16-2013, 10:30 PM
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Still I know it sucks, knowing you are hurting someone's feelings. That's how my last relationship ended ... Just like yours. I had her dating the guy for a few months & it was clear that the feelings/what the relationship was& whereit was going were much stronger/different on his end.

The I met my current man & it all clicked ... As soon ask met him I knew he was the person I was supposed to spend my life with. I had to end my former relationship because I didn't think it was fair deluting the man into thinking we had a future.
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  #6419  
Old 06-16-2013, 11:17 PM
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Stupid road construction. I have to find a new route to and from work this week because the freeway I take is down to one lane in both directions. That is not cool during rush hour. Thankfully it looks like it is just a one week project....
So that means I should leave early for work which means I have to wake up earlier, since I normally allow myself JUST enough time to get ready. Blaaarrrgghhh.
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  #6420  
Old 06-16-2013, 11:25 PM
Saeleofu Saeleofu is offline
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I just saw Spamalot, and it was hilarious. BUT...the family sittng next to me (like, 12 seats away, since the balcony was empty) felt the need to send one person out about every 10 minutes for the entirety of the first act. Which meant they had to pass by me. I had Logan with me, so that meant I had to make him get up every time someone left or came back in (since I didn't get tickers until just before the show because they're half price then, they were out of accessible seats, so I told them to just stick me on the end of a row, but that meant Logan was blocking the path). THIS IS A MUSICAL. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

Fortunately, the ushers offered me a new seat after intermission, so he didn't have to get up at all until the end of the show The entire right section of that row was empty, so there was NOBODY to get up and be annoying
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