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  #4631  
Old 04-07-2013, 07:33 PM
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CharlieDog CharlieDog is offline
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Originally Posted by Equinox View Post
I really wouldn't want to show up at a boyfriend's parents' front door practically screaming "SURPRISE! I'm Asian!!". A lot of assumptions and/or expectations can be unconscious, and it's just better to get it out of the way. I give my family a heads up when I'm dating a guy, no matter what race he is. It's not an evil racism thing (I tell them his age, too) but just a good FYI to bring up.
Please do this to me. I would die laughing.
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  #4632  
Old 04-07-2013, 07:46 PM
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Please do this to me. I would die laughing.
LOL!! Well, it's the alternative to subtlety!

And that's probably a better reaction than the one I'd get from theoretical BF parents. Because for some reason, I can see it getting really awkward, really fast.
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  #4633  
Old 04-07-2013, 07:52 PM
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I'm selling my house and pre-moving to a rental property with Finnegan and the ferrets. Like, by May 1st, likely.

I've been planning like crazy because it keeps me from completely losing my mind.
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  #4634  
Old 04-07-2013, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by AllieMackie View Post
I'm selling my house and pre-moving to a rental property with Finnegan and the ferrets. Like, by May 1st, likely.

I've been planning like crazy because it keeps me from completely losing my mind.
Same area?

Also, (((hugs)))
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  #4635  
Old 04-07-2013, 07:59 PM
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Same area?

Also, (((hugs)))
Looking to stay central. Mostly finding stuff in the Hunt Club area, but a promising one in Meadowlands/Rideau View as well. We'll see how viewings go, and of course they have to allow the pets.

Overall it will be a good thing, but the willpower to not have constant panic attacks right now is high.
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  #4636  
Old 04-07-2013, 08:12 PM
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I feel so under pressure and stressed. Lost 7 lbs last week.
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  #4637  
Old 04-07-2013, 08:48 PM
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I love the picture idea.. and told him about it but now he is just being a brat and digging his heels in. It's like he feels like he has something to prove. Ugh I even told him I would do the SAME for my family that this really isn't about me thinking that his family won't take it well..
but he is being adamant about not telling his family or showing them.

I am honestly starting to think that more-so than he doesn't get my point.. he doesn't WANT this to be an issue.
He sent me this text
"I don't want you to think that it matters and I don't want you to think that I think it matters. They shouldn't have to get used to anything or prepare for anything, you are a girl I like coming over to meet them. That's it. I'm not telling them anything so there. I'm going to prove to you that it doesn't matter and that you don't need a damned warning label and people aren't cruel. They will love you because I do. That's it. "

First time he says I love you and it's in a stupid rant about this frikin problem that shouldn't be a problem!

ugh I'm ignoring it.
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  #4638  
Old 04-07-2013, 08:50 PM
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Beanie Beanie is offline
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Originally Posted by Fran101 View Post
"I'm not telling them anything so there."
This attitude would NOT go over well with me.
"I'm not meeting your family then. So there."

And only a slight overreaction to get me to say "We're not dating anymore. So there."
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  #4639  
Old 04-07-2013, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Beanie View Post
This attitude would NOT go over well with me.
"I'm not meeting your family then. So there."

And only a slight overreaction to get me to say "We're not dating anymore. So there."
Normally this kind of behavior would have me saying that too.

but his heart is in the right place.. if that makes any sense.
If this was about him "winning" or proving a point just to be right.. I would be pissed.
but it's like he is trying to make me feel better..by proving to me that it doesn't matter and not telling them.. kind of thing.
I told him about my issues with this kind of issue before and instead of going all "oh ok, well if it makes you feel better I'll tell them"
He did what he always does. Tries to fix things. He was so upset that people said those things to me that he is now on a one man mission to "make me understand that I don't need a warning label"

I just really want him to tell them. I'm gonna let him cool off and we will discuss it tomorrow.

I am having enough stress dealing with hair up vs down, ballet flats vs heels.. we are going to lunch.
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  #4640  
Old 04-07-2013, 09:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran101 View Post
Normally this kind of behavior would have me saying that too.

but his heart is in the right place.. if that makes any sense.
If this was about him "winning" or proving a point just to be right.. I would be pissed.
but it's like he is trying to make me feel better..by proving to me that it doesn't matter and not telling them.. kind of thing.
I told him about my issues with this kind of issue before and instead of going all "oh ok, well if it makes you feel better I'll tell them"
He did what he always does. Tries to fix things. He was so upset that people said those things to me that he is now on a one man mission to "make me understand that I don't need a warning label"

I just really want him to tell them. I'm gonna let him cool off and we will discuss it tomorrow.

I am having enough stress dealing with hair up vs down, ballet flats vs heels.. we are going to lunch.
I'll be honest, when I was in an interracial relationship it never even crossed my mind to mention it to family. I honestly would've probably reacted similarly to your bf Then again, growing up our best family friends were an interracial couple and we had even talked as a family about the problems they had faced in some areas.

I TOTALLY get your point and admit you are probably the "right" one.....but I do say I do really get where your boyfriend is coming from as well.
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