The Venting Thread

[Romy]

Originally Posted by Renee750il

There's a big difference between losing someone at the end of a long life, especially, like with my grandmother, if it comes after a long, debilitating illness. I know, hard as it was to know she was gone from this plane of existence, that I felt some relief for her, and having someone (especially a child) take their life when it's barely begun.

Yeah, and I'm assuming here, that Jess' family probably made arrangements for something to be done with her grandmother's remains. She can correct me if I'm wrong obviously, but the fact that they didn't care to do that much for Emiley speaks volumes to me.

[Renee750il]

It's got to be difficult for someone who comes from a loving sort of family to imagine one that uncaring. It goes against everything we're programmed -- instinctively and societally -- to believe.

That's why parents like that do so much damage to their children.

[StephyMei1112]

Jess,

It wasn't just the fb photos - it's everything leading up to her death (including it perhaps). The neglect, abuse, lack of support - they made their disinterest in her very clear when I approached to ask about her whereabouts - even more so when I informed them she was dead. They were very ashamed of her, they felt that people would look down on them for raising someone that changed their gender etc - they didn't stick up for her or check in with her after she left home even once. They didn't reassert her, accept her, or anything - apart from giving her ultimatums of cutting her hair, throwing away her feminine clothes and cosmetics, and acting more like a guy or else. That else was the dominant factor in their relationship. Ok it's one sided - I don't know how it was for them all those years bla bla bla, but I certainly knew how it was for Emii - and that's really enough for me. She was more than a friend - alot more, people don't usually grasp it very well but I don't think at this stage or any other that I need to explain/dissect the dynamics between us to satisfy anyone else.

Because they were harsh and unfeeling does that mean they didn't love her? Certainly not. But there's not really that much to go on that indicates that they did either.

[JessLough]

Do people not make arrangements for themselves? I honestly thought that was how everybody did it... my grandma's arrangements were made -- by her. My parents arrangements are made by them, and once I can get time to sit down with our life insurance guy, my arrangements will be made.

[JessLough]

I got a Rosey pumpkin pattern. Allie has much more faith in my artistic talents than I do. ITS GOMNA BE HORRIBLE . Lol

[Fran101]

That is really awful. There really is no excuse for treating your child that way or not being there for them. That I agree with 100%. I am in NO WAY saying that these people are good parents.

but.. just saying. that they may not be as happy as they seem. Ashamed, sad, regretful, isn't always as obvious as it looks.
They totally COULD be soul-less heartless people who don't care that their daughter took her life.. but, that isn't for certain. They could really feel horrible for how they treated her while she was alive, so horrible in fact that they are unable to even deal with the guilt surrounding her death.

As Renee said, it's hard for me to even THINK that these people are honestly happy.. Parents love their kids, they raised her, they lived with her, they took care of her as a baby and loved her when she was little even if they didn't "love" her choices as an adult. I'm just saying..there is a chance that these people, as awful as they were, do regret and are in A LOT of pain.

[StephyMei1112]

Certainly that can be put in place - but Emii did not have such arrangements set up. A total indifference to arranging something/getting something together as Romy & Renee said says quite alot...

Originally Posted by JessLough

Do people not make arrangements for themselves? I honestly thought that was how everybody did it... my grandma's arrangements were made -- by her. My parents arrangements are made by them, and once I can get time to sit down with our life insurance guy, my arrangements will be made.

[Romy]

Bleah. Today was mostly a blah day. My kids are both sick. It's just headcolds but they had a rough day. I feel bad for them.

Still have to do the laundry and dishes and Samuel is doing his best Klingon impression which makes it difficult to do anything. The kid weighs almost 30 lbs. now.

[Lyzelle]

Not only is it shark week, but I seem to be having a Crohn's relapse. I would really like to just be able to eat. Something. And do something in one fell swoop like laundry and dishes instead of constantly running to the bathroom.

[Romy]

Originally Posted by Lyzelle

Not only is it shark week, but I seem to be having a Crohn's relapse. I would really like to just be able to eat. Something. And do something in one fell swoop like laundry and dishes instead of constantly running to the bathroom.

Ouch! This is random, but in the past (before the celiac diagnosis) I had all the symptoms of Crohn's. Plain M&Ms and bananas were usually a safe bet. The combo of the candy coating stuff and fibery sugary bananas really helped.

Hope you can eat soon. That's just miserable.