The Venting Thread

I am pretty much just a failure at everything.
Nothing new.

No you are not and don't ever think that. ((((HUGS)))). You are beautiful, kind, smart and have a heart of gold. No matter what else happens in your life you are never a failure.

One of the girl in my close friend group has a child, which is fine. We all adore her kid.. but she continues to bail and make excuses and just be a bad friend and use her child as an excuse. And it's ANNOYING.

We, as a group, have continued to bend over backwards for her and her kid.
Spent HUNDREDS each on various "kid life events" (baby shower, birthdays etc..) sacrificed MANY MANY friday/saturday nights for some kid thing or another (school thing, some other kids birthday party, mommy book club, mommy & me) not because we WANT to attend these things really, but because we want to make an effort and hang out with our friend.
We have jumped at the chance to be a part of every part of her kids life (every birthday party, playgroup etc..) and yet when it comes to our lives, it's not important to her.

and yet when one of us has something important going on (one of OUR birthdays, a rehearsal dinner, girls night out, opening of our own art/photography into a gallery) she is NOWHERE to be found. Even if we give her PLENTY of notice. "Oh we can't find a sitter" "Sitters are expensive" "I'm just so tired.." "She is feeling a bit unwell today.."

- We have spent how much money on gifts for your child again? parties?
- how much time has been spent going into the suburbs to go get you? saturday nights spent at some child thing?
- How many work sick days used to emergency babysit because you had to go to work and your kid didn't feel well?

I know sitters are expensive, I get having a kid and a social life can be hard. But **** for friends you are supposed to make an EFFORT.

She is always apologetic but it's getting so old.
And when we bring this up, like when she recently bailed on one of our birthdays because "She was so tired and just didn't feel up to driving into the city because K kept her up all night" and we bring up that she is being a pretty awful friend and this is all very one sided
We get hit with "You guys will understand when you have a baby!"

and then even worse, she gets all "wahh poor me you guys are going to forget about me" when we go out/don't invite her. I mean, at this point, what's the point?! she never shows!

And everything we do is just so "immature" to her now. It's FRUSTRATING even being around her. All our problems are petty, all our fun is immature.. and she is so SENSITIVE.

"Let's go to the bar" "Oh I can't even deal with that loud music.."
"My boyfriend and I are having trouble" "Ugh let me tell you about stress, my husband and anjehsluhglsuhgsh"
"I'm so stressed from work" "Talk about stress, baby baby baby baby baby"
"Girl, your hair is a mess. I love you but what are you wearing?" "YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND WHATS ITS LIKE WITH A CHILD! I HAVE BIGGER PRIORITIES!"
"I just got a promotion at work" "**INSERT SOMETHING ABOUT HER BABY AND HER QUITTING HER JOB AND THE ISSUE OF MOTHERS IN THE WORKPLACE***"

She used to be so FUN! She is still sweet, funny, kind, and our friend is buried in there somewhere but she is just soo..soo.. ugh. I dunno!

Not to mention the constant judgement. It's like she isn't just A MOTHER, she is OUR MOTHER.
Slept with a guy? LECTURE!How about your reputation.. disease.. pregnancy..
Eating something bad? LECTURE! healthy! crunchy moms! preservatives!
Stressed at work? LET ME LECTURE YOU ABOUT REAL STRESS!! BABY!

and when she goes on and on and on about the other moms in Mommy & Me and like her kids cloth diapers and playgroups and we TRY to act like we care.. if only she could show the same decency when we talk about OUR lives.

WE.
DONT
WANT
TO
HEAR
ABOUT
YOUR
KIDS
DIAPERS
OR
YOUR
BREASTFEEDING
WOES
THANK
YOU
VERY
MUCH
but we are your friends. So we listen, we laugh, we help, we offer advice..

but when it's time for us to talk about the guy in our life, the new exciting thing at work...
Oh it's all so petty.
"I remember when I used to care about such things, it's all so silly now when you have a baby"

It's like she's been taken over by some motherhood alien!

WHEN WILL IT END?!

One of the girl in my close friend group has a child, which is fine. We all adore her kid.. but she continues to bail and make excuses and just be a bad friend and use her child as an excuse. And it's ANNOYING.

We, as a group, have continued to bend over backwards for her and her kid.
Spent HUNDREDS each on various "kid life events" (baby shower, birthdays etc..) sacrificed MANY MANY friday/saturday nights for some kid thing or another (school thing, some other kids birthday party, mommy book club, mommy & me) not because we WANT to attend these things really, but because we want to make an effort and hang out with our friend.
We have jumped at the chance to be a part of every part of her kids life (every birthday party, playgroup etc..) and yet when it comes to our lives, it's not important to her.

and yet when one of us has something important going on (one of OUR birthdays, a rehearsal dinner, girls night out, opening of our own art/photography into a gallery) she is NOWHERE to be found. Even if we give her PLENTY of notice. "Oh we can't find a sitter" "Sitters are expensive" "I'm just so tired.." "She is feeling a bit unwell today.."

- We have spent how much money on gifts for your child again? parties?
- how much time has been spent going into the suburbs to go get you? saturday nights spent at some child thing?
- How many work sick days used to emergency babysit because you had to go to work and your kid didn't feel well?

I know sitters are expensive, I get having a kid and a social life can be hard. But **** for friends you are supposed to make an EFFORT.

She is always apologetic but it's getting so old.
And when we bring this up, like when she recently bailed on one of our birthdays because "She was so tired and just didn't feel up to driving into the city because K kept her up all night" and we bring up that she is being a pretty awful friend and this is all very one sided
We get hit with "You guys will understand when you have a baby!"

and then even worse, she gets all "wahh poor me you guys are going to forget about me" when we go out/don't invite her. I mean, at this point, what's the point?! she never shows!

And everything we do is just so "immature" to her now. It's FRUSTRATING even being around her. All our problems are petty, all our fun is immature.. and she is so SENSITIVE.

"Let's go to the bar" "Oh I can't even deal with that loud music.."
"My boyfriend and I are having trouble" "Ugh let me tell you about stress, my husband and anjehsluhglsuhgsh"
"I'm so stressed from work" "Talk about stress, baby baby baby baby baby"
"Girl, your hair is a mess. I love you but what are you wearing?" "YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND WHATS ITS LIKE WITH A CHILD! I HAVE BIGGER PRIORITIES!"
"I just got a promotion at work" "**INSERT SOMETHING ABOUT HER BABY AND HER QUITTING HER JOB AND THE ISSUE OF MOTHERS IN THE WORKPLACE***"

She used to be so FUN! She is still sweet, funny, kind, and our friend is buried in there somewhere but she is just soo..soo.. ugh. I dunno!

Not to mention the constant judgement. It's like she isn't just A MOTHER, she is OUR MOTHER.
Slept with a guy? LECTURE!How about your reputation.. disease.. pregnancy..
Eating something bad? LECTURE! healthy! crunchy moms! preservatives!
Stressed at work? LET ME LECTURE YOU ABOUT REAL STRESS!! BABY!

and when she goes on and on and on about the other moms in Mommy & Me and like her kids cloth diapers and playgroups and we TRY to act like we care.. if only she could show the same decency when we talk about OUR lives.

WE.
DONT
WANT
TO
HEAR
ABOUT
YOUR
KIDS
DIAPERS
OR
YOUR
BREASTFEEDING
WOES
THANK
YOU
VERY
MUCH
but we are your friends. So we listen, we laugh, we help, we offer advice..

but when it's time for us to talk about the guy in our life, the new exciting thing at work...
Oh it's all so petty.
"I remember when I used to care about such things, it's all so silly now when you have a baby"

It's like she's been taken over by some motherhood alien!

WHEN WILL IT END?!

I am pretty much just a failure at everything.
Nothing new.

My client dogs today are awful, I'm frustrated with this masters application, and my own dog was being quirky and stressy this morning.

Want cake.

I go in to work at one today so I dropped Clive off at daycare at around 11 (you can't drop them off between 11:30 and 2). The director person was there, who keeps insisting he should be in the 1 year old room, since he just turned 2. He's way bigger than everyone, no one else is verbal, and one of the workers apparently thinks his name is Clyde. he's been going there for like three weeks now...everyone else knows his proper name....and his name is in a giant heart on his cubby...

No you are not and don't ever think that. ((((HUGS)))). You are beautiful, kind, smart and have a heart of gold. No matter what else happens in your life you are never a failure.

For some reason, all the people I have lost these past few months, and all the funerals that I have been to, loosing Gipsy, all the sad, is catching up with me today.

After making headway in this area over the last couple months, I was excluded from family activities because of Logan again. Then my brother had a little fit that "Well ,you can still come, just don't bring the dog!" Uh, no. I didn't spend 2 1/2 years training him just to not be able to use him.