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  #11011  
Old 01-15-2014, 06:54 PM
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Paviche Paviche is offline
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Jeromy invited me to go out with him and a couple of his friends/coworkers tonight. I really want to see him, because we haven't gotten much time together lately, but I don't think I'm going to go. One, they're going bar hopping downtown, and I don't really drink or like the bar scene all that much. But the main reason is that he's going with a married man and a married woman who are having an affair with each other. I've met the guy's wife (and young son ) They're having problems, okay, I get that. But I don't think cheating is ever the answer and it makes me really uncomfortable. I explained that to Jeromy and he understood, but also defended his own friendship with them which was unnecessary, I don't think less of him for continuing the friendships or anything, but said "if [my good friend] did something stupid, would you cut off contact?" The honest answer is no, I wouldn't despite my strong feelings about it, BUT that's also *my friend.* I'm not saying that makes it better of course, but I've only hung out with the guy a couple of times, and I've never met the woman, so it's a lot harder to try to see it from their perspective.

I guess I'm just rambling. I think my vent is that I want to see my boyfriend tonight, but the situation sucks so I won't.
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  #11012  
Old 01-15-2014, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Paviche View Post
Jeromy invited me to go out with him and a couple of his friends/coworkers tonight. I really want to see him, because we haven't gotten much time together lately, but I don't think I'm going to go. One, they're going bar hopping downtown, and I don't really drink or like the bar scene all that much. But the main reason is that he's going with a married man and a married woman who are having an affair with each other. I've met the guy's wife (and young son ) They're having problems, okay, I get that. But I don't think cheating is ever the answer and it makes me really uncomfortable. I explained that to Jeromy and he understood, but also defended his own friendship with them which was unnecessary, I don't think less of him for continuing the friendships or anything, but said "if [my good friend] did something stupid, would you cut off contact?" The honest answer is no, I wouldn't despite my strong feelings about it, BUT that's also *my friend.* I'm not saying that makes it better of course, but I've only hung out with the guy a couple of times, and I've never met the woman, so it's a lot harder to try to see it from their perspective.

I guess I'm just rambling. I think my vent is that I want to see my boyfriend tonight, but the situation sucks so I won't.

That really sucks.
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  #11013  
Old 01-15-2014, 08:14 PM
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sassafras sassafras is offline
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LOL you're not asking him to cut off contact, you're just telling him it makes you uncomfortable to be an active participant in his friend's something stupid/affair. The whole thing really sucks.

FWIW I wouldn't go either, it would be waaaaaayyyyy too uncomfortable.
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  #11014  
Old 01-15-2014, 08:23 PM
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yv0nne yv0nne is offline
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Yeah, I wouldn't go either. I would also tell my cheating friend they had 48hrs to tell their significant other or I would ..but I'm just very uncool with any of that kind of behavior.
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  #11015  
Old 01-15-2014, 08:47 PM
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Paviche Paviche is offline
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Yeah, I mean, he was totally understanding about how I feel about it. He and the guy go way back and granted I don't know the details of his relationship with his wife. Still, it's ****. Deal with your issues. Don't lie to your partner. If it's not working, end it. I know that isn't always easy... but lying and sneaking around on your partner is unforgivable, IMO.

I ended up not going. Waaaay too uncomfortable for me. I'll see him this weekend instead.
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  #11016  
Old 01-15-2014, 09:14 PM
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*sigh* Haven't been able to talk with Michael since Saturday. He *just* had a chance to call me - and literally two minutes into the conversation got called away again. God bless it.

On the bright side, in that two minutes he was able to confirm his graduation date will indeed be the end of next month. One step closer.
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  #11017  
Old 01-15-2014, 10:12 PM
crazedACD crazedACD is offline
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Originally Posted by yv0nne View Post
Yeah, I wouldn't go either. I would also tell my cheating friend they had 48hrs to tell their significant other or I would ..but I'm just very uncool with any of that kind of behavior.
Oh my god.

I took my friend's girlfriend out to a party thing, my friend couldn't go, but I promised I would take care of her. I lost her at one point and went looking for her, and she was in bed with (another friend) of mine. I told her to tell him. She did not. I told him. Guess who he believed? That was the end of THAT friendship...

Pfft, people.
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  #11018  
Old 01-16-2014, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted by crazedACD View Post
Oh my god.

I took my friend's girlfriend out to a party thing, my friend couldn't go, but I promised I would take care of her. I lost her at one point and went looking for her, and she was in bed with (another friend) of mine. I told her to tell him. She did not. I told him. Guess who he believed? That was the end of THAT friendship...

Pfft, people.
That's why I don't involve myself in my friend's relationships. I have this one guy friend who is a hopeless player and womanizer ... I don't get involved in that, my or anything else pertaining to relationships because I have had bad experiences with that in the past.
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  #11019  
Old 01-16-2014, 05:00 PM
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Lyzelle Lyzelle is offline
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Just listened to an hour and a half rant from BeAu about how much he misses Leland, and how stupid it is that people tell him to get over it, because Leland wasn't his biologically. There's nothing quite like parenting a kid, having him taken away because his mother is bitter and spiteful, and then people telling you to get over it, it shouldn't affect you, because it wasn't "yours" anyway. I get that.

But honestly, there ISN'T anything we can do about it. Just nothing. She was a liar, a cheat, and made false promises...to you and him. But there's no resolution. It just trails off into nothing, and it sucks to accept.

It is like talking to a wall. There is nothing either of us can do.
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  #11020  
Old 01-16-2014, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sassafras View Post
LOL you're not asking him to cut off contact, you're just telling him it makes you uncomfortable to be an active participant in his friend's something stupid/affair. The whole thing really sucks.

FWIW I wouldn't go either, it would be waaaaaayyyyy too uncomfortable.
Not saying that Paviche should have gone with them or anything. . .
But is this really something you're actively participating in if you hang with them? Is it that bad? I'm sure they're not flaunting it.

It seems silly for someone else's bad choices to be that much of a problem to me. Who knows, maybe if I have some friends having an affair I'll change my mind. For now I just can't see that changing your morals.
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