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  #11  
Old 07-27-2012, 12:22 PM
JessLough JessLough is online now
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My family is HUGE. Like, 8 grandparents huge. My dad was 1 of 9 in his birth family, and 1 of 7 in his adopted family. We talk to 2 of his siblings from both families, and their kids. Other than that, any decency we had with his birth siblings was broken after some horrid things while my grandmother was dying in hospice care.

I dont think its wrong to not like your family... My brother and I are close enough, my sister and I only recently can be in the same room together and have a conversation and keep it civil.
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  #12  
Old 07-27-2012, 12:30 PM
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It is truly amazing to me that people allow others to be douche canoes because they are family. Doesn't cut it with me I'm afraid.
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  #13  
Old 07-27-2012, 01:00 PM
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odd one out here , but I grew up with a very tight family , and ever since my nan died they have scattered and I miss it. My children will never know all there cousins growing up and it sickens me really. good / bad / crazy / loving , they are all family and we should look out for each other. Now I only have my sister / mom / dad on my side and chris only has his brother left. only close ones are his brother and my dad. everyone else are on the northshore or in texas. a lot of family traditions have died and it sickens me really that i have let it happen.
Chris and I where talking the other day about this and he is from a huge italian family and it breaks his heart all the time that they have all died out.


sorry kinda rambled on there / but i do agree on cutting ties to toxic people , family or not , and it is all in who you decide is family no blood needed. but we also big on not taking crap from our family members also. we have a problem we fight it out and carry on.
no passive aggressive crap .
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  #14  
Old 07-27-2012, 01:18 PM
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I desperately wanted to move cross country for college, and I chose to stay here after graduation. I am 3000 miles away from my family. It's at least 8 hours of plane travel to visit. We see each other once or twice a year for a week at a time.

We get along much better with that distance between us than we would if I lived across the street, I suspect.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it really, really sucks (like as my grandmother slips into alzheimers, I wish I were there to spend time with her), but I'm definitely not the "favorite child" and it's easier for me to deal with that from a distance.
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  #15  
Old 07-27-2012, 04:28 PM
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StephyMei1112 StephyMei1112 is offline
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Thanks everyone, alot =)

Kaydee: Thank you! It's the Japanese deity Inugami. It's a spirit of vengeance/a grudge created from cutting a dog's head off in a certain way but gaining it's obedience by laying food out for it before it's head is chopped off. It's rather uncontrollable and more often than not turns on the handler/owner/summoner. Very much like alot of the dog breeds I like LOL XD.

Indeed my immediate family and I are quite alienated from each other - as time passes it may improve, but we'll see... I do love them - but I don't like them much. There's perhaps a cousin in law or two that is nice, but the rest of my "family" really isn't my crowd at all. A rather odd grand-aunt of mine would always ask me over for supper at her place then in front of everyone admonish the fact that I was a "wedlock" baby and that as a result I should live with a sort of shame/inferiority complex because of it. Yeah, didn't go for dinners there again after...

So that's that I guess - I'm really not interested in striking up any sort of a rapport with them at this stage of things and I'm really exhausted with them as it is...

I have a wonderful family of a few good devoted friends - and that is honestly all I want or need. My grandmother on my mom's side was a kind, gentle, sweet, loving, adventurous, and brave soul - she knew how to live, love and cherish; unfortunately she was gone by the time I was 14, so I had very little time with her.
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  #16  
Old 07-27-2012, 04:41 PM
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Awww, I know others who are dealing with the same kind of thing.

For me personally? I'm kind of somewhere in the middle. I'm pretty much opposite of all my close family - I'm a "homebody"... not a party-er, I enjoy history and learning (we had to beg some of our family members to visit Gettysburg with us, and they just don't seem to appreciate the history that goes along with it). I'm not really into fashion, style, clothes or gossip and drama. I'm laid back. My moms side of the family is anything but that.... they're all pretty big drinkers (not, like, alcoholic but they still are big in the going out scene, even in their 30's, 40's, 50's, etc). My grandma and aunt (mom's mother and her sister) are probably the biggest drama queens. Always negative or complaining about something. I tend to be able to ignore most of that stuff.

I actually have a "second" family, who I may not see as much, but I feel closer or more like them. They are not blood, but they might as well be. But it's not that I necessarily love them MORE than my own family. I'm actually close with my own family, if that makes sense. I just learned to appreciate and accept them for who they are. Sure, we're a little dysfunctional but they've all got the biggest hearts. I'm really nothing like them but we tend to do a lot of things together and events, and in the times of tragedy or emergency, we pull together and stick together. Like, when my mom gave birth to my baby sister at the age of 43 (she was a very special baby), my uncle from out of town flew in, my other uncle was there, my aunt, my grandparents (divorced), and we were ALL there at the hospital. That sort of thing we're close.

Oh and this is my moms side of the family I'm talking about (her parents (and step-parents), 2 brothers, 1 sister. We also have a lot of my uncles friends who have become family through the years. So I don't really see any family besides my immediate.

My dads side of the family, however... I have no connection with. Barely. My dads mom has lived out in AZ all my life, so I've grown up seeing her once a year and talking on the phone. I think I'd be a bit closer to her had she lived close. It's kind of unfortunate. She's 73 now and I feel bad that I'm not really close to her. My dads dad lives five minutes down the road, but he's not close to his own father, so in turn... that makes me not very close to him, which is sad too. But he's a horrible communicator and I can't stand to sit there and be bored to death. I'd love to have some great conversations with him, but you just... can't.

Family dynamic is so funny. In actuality, most people are jealous of how cool my family is. So I can't complain too much.
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