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Old 06-11-2012, 05:38 PM
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Miakoda Miakoda is offline
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Originally Posted by Romy View Post
I wish every rapist had that word, rapist, indelibly marked on their foreheads forever.


It's horrifying. And I don't know the answer. It makes me wonder how many other girls he's wounded.
Me too.

There's no answer now. I avoid all athlete alumni things at my university, and I try to not think his name. But I wonder, with the way things happen, if I was not indeed the only girl to suffer at his hands. And now he's a cop.
The Hokey Pokey. That's what it's all about.
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Old 06-11-2012, 05:38 PM
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iwantmypup iwantmypup is offline
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Oh Mia. Ugh ugh ugh.
I am so sorry. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
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Old 06-11-2012, 05:41 PM
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Danefied Danefied is offline
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Originally Posted by Miakoda View Post
No, I didn't. I've wanted to, but then I just bottle it back up and push it back down deep inside. Heck, it's been almost 15 years, and I suppose you could say that I'm still as screwed up now as I was then.

I would like to, but there's so much more to the story. And I wouldn't even know how to find a counselor, much less what I would say. The only person, besides you anonymous internet folk, that knows about it is my then ex-boyfriend (we had broken up about 9 months prior).
Do a therapist search in your area. You call and say you need to set up an appointment. Once in the appointment you donít have to talk about the rape if you donít want to. You can say you were raped, and go from there, or you can simply start with something easier to talk about but thatís still an issue.

It would be a gift to do this for yourself.
"We become better trainers by refusing to swallow uncritically what is tossed to us as truth,
by developing our powers of empathy and observation,
and by searching for better ways to teach and educate the dogs we love."
~Suzanne Clothier
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Old 06-11-2012, 05:43 PM
Saeleofu Saeleofu is offline
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:18 PM
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Renee750il Renee750il is offline
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Sadly, guys like that (and some women) are often drawn to careers where they have authority and power over others. I've known cops who were vicious wife and child beaters. I'm sure I've met a few who were rapists. I know I've been around some that I would classify as rapists, although *technically* they aren't -- but have used their position to bully and/or extort sexual favors.

No one, especially yourself, should blame you or second guess you for not pressing charges.

From what you've described, it sounds like you were being "good ol' boyed" by a community of people who didn't want to see things stirred up, especially for the guy jock. You probably made the right decision for your own sanity. Rape trials, especially when the accused is someone like that, are ugly -- for the victim. Beyond ugly. Honestly, I doubt very seriously I would report it if I were raped.

Try calling a rape crisis line. They should be able to direct you to a choice of counselors, and just making that initial call might help some too.


And yah, the world is full of assjerks and short on justice. Really short.

You have every right to be angry, X10000.
In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. ~Buddha

Stupid is the most notoriously incurable and contagious disease known to mankind. If you find yourself in close proximity to someone infected with stupid, walk away as soon as said infection is noted.

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***8206;"silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation."
ó Rumi
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:22 PM
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Barbara! Barbara! is offline
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I would try therapy. It really can help.
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself." -D.H. Lawrence

"Only when the last tree is cut, only when the last river is polluted, only when the last fish is caught, will they realize that you canít eat money." ĖNative American proverb
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:46 PM
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HayleyMarie HayleyMarie is offline
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Im so sorry, I have no words only support. I just can't imagine. ((((((HUGGIeS)))))

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Old 06-11-2012, 06:52 PM
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LauraLeigh LauraLeigh is offline
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I am so sorry, I was talked into not prosecuting.... It was years later before I even admitted to it... I was very young when it happened, and told my Mom but she didn't believe me (family friend)

I have regretted it at times and worry he's done it to others and no one is the wiser... He is "clean" criminally.... But I am not sure I could have handled what it would have involved...

Therapy was extremely helpful...

As was a support group I went to, these days there may even be forums where you can be very, truly, anonymous...

((((((( HUGS ))))))))
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:53 PM
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AllieMackie AllieMackie is offline
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Echoing everyone else. I don't feel comfortable disclosing much, but I've been in a similar situation as you, and I would be in the same boat. I echo counselling; it can't hurt to get it on the table with someone unbiased who can help you work everything out. It helped me more than I ever thought it would.

Huge hugs and support from a fellow victim. Please PM me if you feel like talking to someone. <3

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RIP - Fozzy 1993-2006 Palom 2008-2010 Ysera 2008-2011 Basol 2008-2012 Freya 2008-2014 Porom 2008-2014
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:54 PM
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thehoundgirl thehoundgirl is offline
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