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  #1  
Old 12-04-2005, 11:01 PM
amymarley amymarley is offline
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Default At odds...do I want another, my loss hurts...

As some of you know I lost 2 boxers in my life, one a one year 2 months old (cancer) and another on November 6 of this year. I thought my first boxer was my one and only, but Chase found me... he lived a fab. life for over 9 years. I am hurting sooooo bad still. Makes me want to give up having any more dogs, my animal business and etc...But I miss, already the love and everything that goes with having a life long companion.
My question to you all is....if I aquire another dog, am I doing wrong? In my heart, of couse not. I just don't want Chase looking down at me and wondering, not that he would. If I do decide.;.... it's going to be a rescue of either a French Mastiff or a Borzoi ... I dont know yet...I don't know if I can handle another loss, but I want the love back in my life too. I have different reasons leaning towards both sides, but I think if I did, I would go for the french mastiff.
Also, I want a "cuddle" dog....like my Chase. so a mastiff it might be
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  #2  
Old 12-04-2005, 11:22 PM
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Can't help you decide which one, but you don't gain anything without putting yourself out there. If you're not ready yet though, take a bit of time and see what the future holds.
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Old 12-05-2005, 12:14 AM
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I agree with andrew. Also, dont think of it as replacing your lost dog/dogs.
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Old 12-05-2005, 12:40 AM
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No, you can never replace the hole in your heart, but there's always place for another love. When EliN's friend lost her beloved Choc. Lab she couldn't even think of another dog until I was trying to place Kobe.. my foster dog. I e-mailed her and the next morning she felt it was a sign from her Fergus to move on. The day she was ready to get him, she went home from work before she came here and there was a Choc Lab with a white collar in her yard....she had never seen him and lives in a remote area on 50 plus acres. He called him...all kinds of names as he walked off... finally she called " Fergy" and he turned around, looked at her, wagged his tail and disappeared. She is so very happy with Kobe and he with her ....Chase wants you to be happy...he'll send the right one to you. Read the book...My Angels Wear Fur .
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Old 12-05-2005, 01:05 AM
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sorry to hear you are hurting, animalbiz. it's always hard when we have to let them go.

i don't think it's wrong to want another dog in your life again when you feel ready for it. of course no other is ever going to replace the one you lost, but i don't think "replace" is the right word, i would rather say finding a new friend to share the next stretch of life's road ahead.

i've always had the feeling that my pets who have gone don't mind new ones coming into my life, since there will always be a special place in my heart for them and they wouldn't want to see me sad and without a friend to share my life and care for.
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Old 12-06-2005, 02:23 AM
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It's rough to have one go. In 1987 and 88, I had to put dogs down, and it was rough. It was the first time I had to make the decision when Joe went sour. Before that, my parents did it, and my Beagle just dropped dead, saving me that choice, that time.

When we had to put my dog Gus down due to cancer, we were planning on waiting about 6 months for a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog pup, and probably another pup from the shelter, as regardless of what some people claim, two pups are much , much, much easier than one is, and the bonding to each other thing is total nonsense. The only dog I had really ever actually went out and waited and paid for was my yellow Lab Joe, a nice dog with major health problems his entire life. He was well bred, was raised in the house, but was sick from basically 18 months on. I had better luck getting one at the vet's (Gus was part of a litter dumped at the vet's after being treated for a staff infection), or a rescue place.

About two weeks after Gus was gone, we ran into a friend who's ex-girlfriend had a "load" (13 would be a load, I guess) of pups to find homes for. There were still eight left when we called her. After all, it wouldn't hurt to "take a look" would it? I knew right then, that unless there was something obviously wrong with them, that we would take two of them. We went over there, and there was skinny Mom, a Dobe/Lab mix that looked like a solid black Dobe more than a mix, and the eight pups bouncing off the walls. A black and white pup came over as soon as we walked in, climbed up on the couch with us, and went to sleep instantly. He was the "enforcer" of the litter, the top pup, who is named Boomer now, did all the work, while King sat and watched, only "working" when needed. One down.

There was a grey and white female pup, bigger than the rest of the litter, with almost the exact same markings as the black and white one, and she was very friendly, if a little shy, and that was two down. I picked them up the next morning. King is the heathiest dog I have ever had, but Molly has bad hips (don't seem to have bothered her any yet, she just walks funny) and pretty bad skin allergies. Luck of the draw, I guess.

It's hard to believe they will be seven on the 23'rd. When King started getting really grey about a year ago, I had the thoughts about "In seven years or so, I will be starting all over again!". It's the final days and making the decision that, to me is the worst. When Gus went, I was a mess for a couple of days, as I he had been with us for 14plus years, but I knew it was time. About a year later, I had to put down my 16+ year old cat, and that was bad too, but not nearly as bad as it was with Gus. When King goes, it's going to be the worst, as he is as cuddly as Gus was, but a "character" type who is a once in a lifetime dog, and I'm going to really miss him. Seven years isn't very long, and as he gets grayer and grayer, I have to think about it..even though I don't want to.

Don't feel guilty, or that you haven't taken enough time to grieve, dogs don't judge you like people do. When one comes along, you'll do what's best for you. I never understood the "too soon" thing, but that's me.

One really weird thing is that these dogs are my 3rd and 4th dogs born on the same day! My yellow Lab Joe in 77, Pit Mix Gus in 84, and now King and Molly in 98, all have the same birthday, December 23rd. Weird.

Last edited by Ratboy; 12-06-2005 at 02:28 AM. Reason: ommission
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  #7  
Old 12-06-2005, 02:41 AM
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I agree with Mordy. It's just another friend to share your good and not so good time with. When my heart dog, Bruno passed on after 10 years of solid dedication and pure love from both ends, we got Precious only a month afterwards. It helps ease the pain, and I really think that the deceased are happy that we found another to help us through. After all, they only wanted what was best for us while they were on earth... Why would it change when they arrive at Rainbow Bridge?
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Old 12-06-2005, 11:31 AM
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With Chip being my only Golden now, I'm dreading the day he goes to the Bridge....I've never had to put bowls, toys etc away. I know I'll adopt as soon as I can, but it will take a while for the right one to be sent to me. I can't handle another one now ... maybe I'll go first.
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Old 12-06-2005, 12:06 PM
Coco Poco Coco Poco is offline
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Think of it this way. Are you going to be more miserable with a dog, or without a dog? I couldn't possibly live long without a dog.
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  #10  
Old 12-06-2005, 12:09 PM
Athebeau Athebeau is offline
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It's hard when you lose a friend. I lost 2 Newf's within 2 months of each other a few years back. One to cancer the other to old age. It's hard and you never forget your lost friends. New dogs bring new experiences and memories. For myself, with all the dogs I've owned and lost in my past I have so many happy memories and each dog brought out a better side of me and taught me humanity.

You are never replacing the dog that's lost...memories last forever. You are giving a wonderful life to a new friend. A dog that may never have experienced the love that you can give will be enjoying a new life with you and creating new memories. Dogs don't have many choices of who they get for owners...when you think of the love you have given and will give, it would be a shame that another dog couldn't be blessed with the same wonderful life.
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