Dog Site - Dog Stuff
Dog Forum | Dog Pictures

Go Back   Chazhound Dog Forum > Dog Forum News > The Fire Hydrant

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-14-2012, 10:43 PM
Fran101's Avatar
Fran101 Fran101 is offline
Resident fainting goat
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 12,548
Default Guess who is at the hospital? again. Epilepsy sucks.

As many of you know, I've been on/off epilepsy drugs trying new things trying to find the right combo or medicine.. but today I really feel like I'm done trying.
My seizures are frequent..but short and sort of manageable just as they are and I feel like all these drugs are just fighting my brain and losing.

Today was just the final straw. After a seizure I woke up and couldn't see. Like pitch black couldn't see. It was the scariest thing I've ever been through. I was alone at the mall bathroom when I had the seizure, woke up and literally didn't know which way was up and kind of stumbled out of the stall and started crying and screaming and someone found me thank goodness and helped me and called 911.

They had to sedate me, I couldn't calm down, I thought I was going to be blind forever and I didn't know where I was or what was going on.

My doctors met me at the hospital within the hour after they sedated me and I started to see shadows and within 2 hours I could see completely but I just.. can't put myself through that again.

I've never felt so helpless and I just feel.. done.
My parents think I should hold out, try other things like this miracle drug is out there that is going to make me normal but at what cost? I feel like a lab rat and I just feel drained.

and all I can remember is darkness and I was fighting everyone even though I knew that they were trying to help and were doctors but they weren't my doctors and I just didn't trust anyone and I couldn't even hear them over screaming "I WANT MY MOMMY!!" at the top of my lungs

I feel like a combination of A. A crazy person and B. An uncontrollable helpless child who can't go anywhere or do anything by herself.

I'm fine now. under like 48 hour hospital watch but I have my laptop and have been playing around the computer all day like always but I just feel like I needed to let this out.

vent over.

I will never ever stop appreciating the fact that I can see. EVER.

oh and speaking of appreciating things, I am now in a hospital with awesome doctors and I know my life is far from WOE IS ME status.. I have doctors and parents happy to deal with me and all the craziness that I entail. and I have a forum full of people to vent to who are awesome.
and they are serving red jello tonight.

I feel better now actually. Oddly enough lol maybe there is something magical to this whole forum venting thing

Disclaimer: I work for Trupanion and love it/our policy! But I do not speak for the company or as the company.
Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 10:48 PM
Laurelin's Avatar
Laurelin Laurelin is offline
I'm All Ears
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 30,963

Oh that's scary! Glad you are okay!

Hank CA - (approx. 1 1/2 year old Spotty Dog)
Mia CGC - (6 1/2 year old Papillon)
Summer TG3 TIAD - (11 year old Papillon)
Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 10:49 PM
JacksonsMom's Avatar
JacksonsMom JacksonsMom is offline
Top Dog
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 8,678

Oh Fran *HUGS* I don't even know what else to say, but you are an amazing person. I'm so sorry you had to go through that today, and honestly can't even imagine. I'm sending you major vibes that you can figure out the correct meds and get back on track - what a scary thing.
Brit & Jackson

Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 10:53 PM
HayleyMarie's Avatar
HayleyMarie HayleyMarie is offline
Like a bat outa' hell
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Beautiful British Columbia!!
Posts: 7,058

(((huggies))) I could not imagine what you just went through. Waking up and being blind is like a nightmare of mine, im sure its everyones nightmare.

I really hope you dont wake up to somthing like that ever again.

Teagan Westhighland White Terrier
Panzer South African Boerboel Mastiff
Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 10:58 PM
Xandra's Avatar
Xandra Xandra is offline
Top Dog
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,807

I've been temporarily blind in public before and it is definitely one of the more not-fun experiences out there, and I imagine it is so much worse to WAKE UP, in public, not being able to see and thinking it might be permanent. Scary scary but I'm glad you can see again and you're feeling better. Hopefully someone figures something out so that you don't have to go through that ever again.
Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 10:59 PM
Southpaw's Avatar
Southpaw Southpaw is offline
orange iguanas.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 7,777

How awful and scary! Lots of hugs and vibes for you...

Juno CGC 2009 :: Sawyer 2015 :: Cajun CGC 2013 :: Lucy 2006
Run free, Molly :: Happy
Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 11:38 PM
PlottMom's Avatar
PlottMom PlottMom is offline
The Littlest Hound
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,832

Oh my goodness you poor thing - I bet that was terrifying I'm glad you're feeling better now

The Plotts:
UKC GRCH 'PR' Hannas Creek Liz
GRCH FCH CCH CA 'PR' Jebb's Bayou Rage
OFA Hips: Good, Eyes: Normal
2010 & 2015 UKC Coonhound World Show Qualified

Midnight Brindle Bombshell - "Pink"
UKC GRCH CCH 'PR' Skyplott Teddy Bearhug (5/2004 - 3/2014)

And the "off-colored" hounds:
'PR' Dead River K-N-A Swagger (English coonhound)
Daisy Duke Garrett CGC, RA & my <3 dog. Forever "The Favorite", 5/25/2000 - 2/9/2015 (basset)
Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 11:43 PM
JessLough JessLough is offline
Love My Mutt <3
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 13,397

Ugh I'm so sorry, Fran. I can't wait for you to get your SD and feel somewhat safer, then.

The fact that you are looking at the positives and appreciating the small things is inspiring, it really is.
Ella: 3 year old female ferret
Nacho: 9 year old male ferret
Summer: 5 year old female ferret
Goodbye, Rosey. You were the best girl I could have asked for. 10/15/96-03/08/13
Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2012, 12:22 AM
Moth's Avatar
Moth Moth is offline
Mild and Slightly Nutty
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 5,028

Oh Fran... I am so sorry. That sounds so terrible and traumatic. I am sorry you had to go through this and were alone when it happened.

I agree with Jess...having your SD will help you so much, because you won't have to go it alone.

Hang in there!
Bow before my Basenji Overlord and Master! Pay homage to the Peiby Goddess!

A gold brick wrapped with a twist of lemon...

Visit the Curly-tailed Brigade
Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2012, 12:34 AM
Fran101's Avatar
Fran101 Fran101 is offline
Resident fainting goat
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 12,548

Thanks so much guys. ((HUGS)) You guys have no idea what being here and posting this stuff and your words mean to me!

It's just been one of those days. I got some extra jello and am just going to let myself wallow in the woe for the next 24 hours and watch law and order.

Disclaimer: I work for Trupanion and love it/our policy! But I do not speak for the company or as the company.
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:12 AM.

1997-2013 Chazhound Dog Site