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  #31  
Old 05-12-2012, 10:44 AM
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I know how frustrating separation problems can be. Summer was so stressful to deal with before I had Mia because of her SA. Do you think having another dog in the house (maybe a calm, bombproof, older dog) would help? Or is it too hard to acclimate him to any dog? Mia was a godsend in a lot of ways because Summer almost immediately stopped freaking out, screaming, and having panic attacks when she was left alone.
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  #32  
Old 05-12-2012, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Laurelin View Post
I know how frustrating separation problems can be. Summer was so stressful to deal with before I had Mia because of her SA. Do you think having another dog in the house (maybe a calm, bombproof, older dog) would help? Or is it too hard to acclimate him to any dog?
I don't know if it would help or not. I don't know if his issues were just less when he was living in a house with Mollie and/or Izzy, or if I was just better able to ignore them since I was living in a house and it wasn't as big of a deal to just let him bark for a couple minutes when I left. I wish I had an answer, because if getting another dog was all it took to help with some of this, I would absolutely be out there looking for another dog today.
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  #33  
Old 05-12-2012, 11:14 AM
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I get it. Anxiety issues are hard, especially SA.

I swear, especially on weekends, I constantly judge how much I really need to get out and do x without Bailey, because he gets so stressy when I leave. Which, frankly, isn't all that healthy for me, either. I actually have a dog sitter (who he loves) come over when I need to go somewhere with G, since I think that is doubly hard for him.

Bringing in a puppy has added to the stress, of course. He gets tired of her and doesn't want to be with her, but he can't handle being separated by me through any kind of barrier.

He's not as severe as Frodo, but I do understand on some level. I'm a bit different though, because I'm equally attached to him -- not sure that's any better!

I got Grace because I wanted her, of course, but also because I thought it might help B when she gets older. Right now he thinks I'm an idiot but I'm still hopeful that it'll work out that way. One of the things that her breeder emphasizes in her program is confidence. (And I told her about 5 million times that I wanted a confident (but not dominant) dog.) Grace is a super confident puppy (to the point that I have to make sure she doesn't hurt herself before she gets some brains!). It's so foreign to me after years with Bailey, but I like it. All that to say I think it's absolutely possible to get a second dog without the same issues.
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  #34  
Old 05-12-2012, 11:19 AM
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Nope. The only people I really trust with him are Megan and SaraB. Megan's housemate's dog is just as screwey as Frodo, plus she also has Bailey. I'm pretty sure if the three of them were under one roof the state would implode. Frodo doesn't like SaraB's Classic, so that's not going to happen.

Other than that, no. There isn't anyone.


Maybe I should start a business.


I don't think Classic would like that very much either


If Frodo was easy, then this wouldn't even be an issue. It's the fact that NOTHING can be easy with him.




That's completely it, the fact that I can't do anything without forethought, and for a lot of things, I just can't do them. Full stop.

Ryan really wants to go to the dock dogs worlds, but we can't. It's not like we just waited until the last minute or didn't plan accordingly. We just can't go, full stop, no question. He can't stay home and he can't come along.

Last week my car alarm went off randomly so I had to run outside and turn it off. Because we didn't go through normal routine, he shrieked the whole time I was outside. Like blood curdling screaming. It was time for me to go anyway, so I came back in (he was all stress pants and hard facial lines), followed routine (=take him out quick, give him a kong, tell him be a good boy, leave) and he was fine.

I can't clean the rats cage and have them out with me in the bathroom for floor time unless Ryan is there or Frodo has something to keep him occupied or he will bark and whine the whole time he can't be with me.

When I get home from work Ryan has to be home or I can't go running. And even when I do go, he is barky and anxious at home with Ryan until I come back.

When we have people over if he gets tired of overwhelmed he will go to the bedroom (which is self taught and AMAZING, don't get me wrong), but he wants me to be in there with him and he will bark until I come to bed. Which means I don't get to socialize.

We can't just come and go as we please. If we are out and come back we need to stay for at least an hour or two or he barks and screams when we leave. Yesterday we wanted to go out for breakfast and then we each had to go to work. I had to drive to a nearby parking lot and meet Ryan so that I wouldn't have to go back to the apartment before I left for work. Then I went into work early and just read because I knew I couldn't go home and leave again or he would have a huge issue when I tried to leave.

For a while he was doing really well with seeing dogs in the apartment and right outside the apartment building, then he was charged in the hallway by a dog that door darted. Now he is TERRIBLE about seeing other dogs in the hallways or right outside the complex so I am the only person who takes him out. And I have to check the windows first to see if anyone is out there, gear up with treat pouches, and then 007 my way down the stairs and outside with him. The worst part about this is that *I* am anxious about another dog being in the hallway or the stairwell and therefore *he* becomes more anxious about being in the hallway and it just turns into a vicious circle.

There is a huge Somali population in our apartment building, and Frodo thinks that the clothes that Somali women wear are the most terrifying outfits ever, and they cause a reaction if a woman comes out of her door when we are in the hallway. I'm worried he is going to scare someone and they are going to report him.

ETA: A couple weeks ago the complex management put up signs that they would be testing fire alarms through the complexes. I just about had a mental breakdown because I couldn't tell by the signs whether they would be coming in each indivual unit or not. I called the office continually for about 15 minutes with no answer, and I couldn't just leave and go to the office because I had just gotten home from work and couldn't leave again. Because there was no way someone was going to be able to come into our unit with nobody home, I would've had to call off work. So I was FREAKING out and had to have Ryan come home to stop by the office to ask whether they would be coming into individual units or just checking the hallway ones.



These are the types of things that just wear on me after a while. More than anything I am just TIRED of having to deal with this type of thing every day.

I know that I probably sound completely ungrateful and annoying, but I really do appreciate the things that Frodo can do and I love him like crazy. I just don't particularly like him right now.

I'm so sorry.

I can almost hear the frustration... I can't blame you at all. I think I would be liable to go crazy too.

No real advice but just *hugs*
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  #35  
Old 05-12-2012, 12:19 PM
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Tahla9999 Tahla9999 is offline
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Originally Posted by PWCorgi View Post
Nope. The only people I really trust with him are Megan and SaraB. Megan's housemate's dog is just as screwey as Frodo, plus she also has Bailey. I'm pretty sure if the three of them were under one roof the state would implode. Frodo doesn't like SaraB's Classic, so that's not going to happen.

Other than that, no. There isn't anyone.


Maybe I should start a business.


I don't think Classic would like that very much either


If Frodo was easy, then this wouldn't even be an issue. It's the fact that NOTHING can be easy with him.




That's completely it, the fact that I can't do anything without forethought, and for a lot of things, I just can't do them. Full stop.

Ryan really wants to go to the dock dogs worlds, but we can't. It's not like we just waited until the last minute or didn't plan accordingly. We just can't go, full stop, no question. He can't stay home and he can't come along.

Last week my car alarm went off randomly so I had to run outside and turn it off. Because we didn't go through normal routine, he shrieked the whole time I was outside. Like blood curdling screaming. It was time for me to go anyway, so I came back in (he was all stress pants and hard facial lines), followed routine (=take him out quick, give him a kong, tell him be a good boy, leave) and he was fine.

I can't clean the rats cage and have them out with me in the bathroom for floor time unless Ryan is there or Frodo has something to keep him occupied or he will bark and whine the whole time he can't be with me.

When I get home from work Ryan has to be home or I can't go running. And even when I do go, he is barky and anxious at home with Ryan until I come back.

When we have people over if he gets tired of overwhelmed he will go to the bedroom (which is self taught and AMAZING, don't get me wrong), but he wants me to be in there with him and he will bark until I come to bed. Which means I don't get to socialize.

We can't just come and go as we please. If we are out and come back we need to stay for at least an hour or two or he barks and screams when we leave. Yesterday we wanted to go out for breakfast and then we each had to go to work. I had to drive to a nearby parking lot and meet Ryan so that I wouldn't have to go back to the apartment before I left for work. Then I went into work early and just read because I knew I couldn't go home and leave again or he would have a huge issue when I tried to leave.

For a while he was doing really well with seeing dogs in the apartment and right outside the apartment building, then he was charged in the hallway by a dog that door darted. Now he is TERRIBLE about seeing other dogs in the hallways or right outside the complex so I am the only person who takes him out. And I have to check the windows first to see if anyone is out there, gear up with treat pouches, and then 007 my way down the stairs and outside with him. The worst part about this is that *I* am anxious about another dog being in the hallway or the stairwell and therefore *he* becomes more anxious about being in the hallway and it just turns into a vicious circle.

There is a huge Somali population in our apartment building, and Frodo thinks that the clothes that Somali women wear are the most terrifying outfits ever, and they cause a reaction if a woman comes out of her door when we are in the hallway. I'm worried he is going to scare someone and they are going to report him.

ETA: A couple weeks ago the complex management put up signs that they would be testing fire alarms through the complexes. I just about had a mental breakdown because I couldn't tell by the signs whether they would be coming in each indivual unit or not. I called the office continually for about 15 minutes with no answer, and I couldn't just leave and go to the office because I had just gotten home from work and couldn't leave again. Because there was no way someone was going to be able to come into our unit with nobody home, I would've had to call off work. So I was FREAKING out and had to have Ryan come home to stop by the office to ask whether they would be coming into individual units or just checking the hallway ones.



These are the types of things that just wear on me after a while. More than anything I am just TIRED of having to deal with this type of thing every day.

I know that I probably sound completely ungrateful and annoying, but I really do appreciate the things that Frodo can do and I love him like crazy. I just don't particularly like him right now.
Oh man, I know what your going through. My sitaution was a bit different though. When I had Chochi, life was so much more difficult. Much more difficult. He HATED strangers, just hated them. Even when he just a couple fo months old, he hated strangers. This can be trace by bad breeding since my parents really don't care where a dog comes from.

I had to be careful where I take him because it couldn't be anywhere where there are a lot of people around. He would try to snap at anyone who came near him. I couldn't take him to any dog events, since he was barely tolerable to other dogs. I remember so much just wishing I could be like normal dog owners and take my dog places so he could enjoy and experience the outside world. That is impossible for him. There was only a limit number of places I can take him because I didn't trust strangers either. Chochi is so cute, people doubted me when I told them to stay back. I didn't want any naive child to run up on him either, so I avoided places where children might be.

He still would have been with us if his aggression stayed towards people he didn't know. He showed an unnatural agression towards us since the first few weeks he been with us. You get anywhere near something he feels is his, he would turn into a wolf. How he bared his teeth, his eyes would turn red, it reminded me so much of a wolf that I thought we might have actually gotten a wolf/chow mix. There was a time when he actually guarded the whole refrigerator from us. Even now, where Kai has no possession issues, it still frightens me to take something away from him.

I remember feeling so resentful having him and wishing we had a different dog. I love Chochi despite it all, and we were really reluctant to put him to sleep, we knew how difficult he made life for us and how most dog owners didn't have to deal with this.

Kai, in comparsion, is sooo much easier. I mean, Kai does not have that bulldog confidence, and new places scares him, but he is welling to get over his fear and have a good time. He likes dogs and most people, but he is shy about it though still great. He has no aggression with us, and other than his annoying habits on the leash and a couple of other small things, he pretty much perfect. I'm grateful and happy to have him so don't think that your next dog would be like Frodo.

My next dog after Kai, I'm going to be verrry careful on where the dog is coming from and the breed that dog will be. All my past dogs have come from BYBers, so for here on out my dogs will come from reputable breeders. There is a dog out there for you who will not put such stress on you. Just keep in mind that most dog owners don't deal with those issues, and with careful selection, you will have a dog who will bring more joy than stress.
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  #36  
Old 05-12-2012, 01:29 PM
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I feel you all I joke about her a lot, but sometimes Rage makes me wish I either didn't have her, or didn't have my boyfriend lol she is so weird about him - literally last night she was laying by the couch with me, he was grilling, and every time he came or went through the sliding glass door she would leap to her feet & howl. He is great with dogs, and my other dogs love him - and Rage generally solicits attention from him as well! But every now and then...

a few days ago he hopped down the stairs (only one good leg) and she was lying at the bottom, into the living room a bit. She flat out rushed him, roaring. He never backs down from her, and never loses his cool, which is helping, I think... But it'd be a much easier household with just the three dogs that actually get along also, then I take it personally every time the boyfriend says something disparaging about her, and how he wouldn't trust her in X,Y or Z situation, and it just causes tension. I have put SO MUCH into this dog - she is relatively bomb-proof in public and I can do anything I want to her, but I feel like all he sees is the negative.

Oh, and pretty much every male visitor who shows up & let's themselves in (doesn't happen here cause we don't know anyone yet...) is charged & roared at :/

I'm so glad we can all come here & share, without fear or judgement
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  #37  
Old 05-12-2012, 02:10 PM
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One thing I am worried about with Chloe is how she's going to adapt to me moving in August. She's been with me at Mike's before and did okay, even when we left her alone in the apartment (one time with Cynder, one time without Cynder). She barked as we left and barked when we came to the door, but it wasn't anything bad and I know she didn't bark the entire time. She was stressed, though, and very clingy. I had her with me for two days (one night) and Mike's and then I took her home because she was stressing me out due to the way she was acting and I was somewhat used to it - Mike didn't say anything, but I know it was stressing him out as well.

So not only will she be in a new environment (rural/house to urban/apartment), she will be going from living with a family of six to just me, and will be going from a dog sharing a home with a few cats to just her and then the other three dogs when Mike is over. And she'll have to get used to being at Mike's, too, because if I'm staying the night she'll have to come with me. On the bright side, she met Gracie and Cooper the other day and they got along wonderfully. She and Gracie basically ignored one another, but Chloe adores Cooper. So having them all together won't be a problem, thank God.

And then there is the fact that we aren't going to be stationary and after our leases are up in a year we'll be getting a new place together that she'll have to adapt to...and if we move due to Mike being in the service...*bleh* I'm thinking drugs are in order.
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  #38  
Old 05-12-2012, 02:40 PM
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Sally has separation anxiety, is fearful of strangers (especially men), and is dog reactive--we pretty much hit the trifecta of annoying dog issues.

Our Friday evening when I take Jack to swimming therapy goes as follows--Come home from work, put Sally outside. Take Jack out of crate and leash him. Take him outside to the front porch and tether him. Grab a handful of treats that take a bit of time to consume and let Sally in. Put her in Jack's crate because if she is left alone in the bedroom without Jack she must be crated or she is super anxious, deposit handful of treats in crate, release her to eat them then close the door. I then must quickly and quietly get my butt out the door because hearing anything other than the normal "leaving" sounds will set her to whining. When she goes into a full on SA induced tantrum it sounds like people are torturing multiple dogs in my house--I have no idea how such hellish noises can come out of one 55 lb dog. She also will try to pull open any door in the room she can. We therefore have to double lock our bedroom door, closet door, and have a double latch on our shutters. The other set of shutters is in such bad shape (from her tearing pulling at them when upset) that a latch wouldn't do much good anymore so we just put a book case in front to that window to keep her away from it. We have French doors in our bedroom that we have just given up on trying to latch, so Jacks crate is in front of them.

Sally's SA is actually much better than it was when we got her, and 97% of the time now she is fine. The other 3% of the time does get frustrating.
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  #39  
Old 05-12-2012, 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted by PWCorgi View Post
I don't know if it would help or not. I don't know if his issues were just less when he was living in a house with Mollie and/or Izzy, or if I was just better able to ignore them since I was living in a house and it wasn't as big of a deal to just let him bark for a couple minutes when I left. I wish I had an answer, because if getting another dog was all it took to help with some of this, I would absolutely be out there looking for another dog today.
Could you work with a rescue to find perhaps a calm, adult dog (maybe one who has been fostered, so any issues are out in the open)who might work with you on letting you try the dog on a trial basis?
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Old 05-13-2012, 01:59 AM
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Please send Frodo here for a couple of months!!! I would love that. My dogs would love him, they're respectful of Corgi sass.

Fozzie used to have SA... with Gonzo around, he didn't have SA, but once we moved from a house to an apartment he started howling whenever I would walk Gonzo and sometimes when I would leave them home alone. I worked through it and thought he was cured. Then, when I moved to a small house with just Fozzie & Gonzo went back to live with my family, his SA got much, much worse! I had to start taking him to work (dog daycare). He grew up with my whole family, some one was almost always home, Gonzo was always with him, and of course the barking isn't a big deal in a home. Moving to a strange apartment where he was alone 8 hours a day was shocking to him, and then not having Gonzo to calm him down made him even worse. I know how it feels to be really exhausted by your dog, on edge, and feel afraid to leave your house! These little guys are such drama queens...

Don't be overwhelmed. Honestly, it's important to find a system that works for dogs with SA. I figured out that Fozzie does fine if I give him a work-out before I leave, to the point that he passes out when we get home. Then, I give him a super high value stuffed kong or treat-dispensing toy. Like stuffed with mac & cheese or meat and frozen, SUPER yummy. I wait for him to get really into it and quietly leave. I would give myself enough time to wait and see if he was barking, then I'd wait for him to stop, and go back in... give him a massage to calm him down, and give him something else high value like a bully stick. I felt like I was walking on eggshells sometimes but teaching him to calm down and re-focus his attention really helped with his anxiety. It's very, very hard. Have you tried a thunder shirt? I do think another dog would help... maybe even a foster who's older and has a stable temperament. Good luck, and please consider sending him to me! Lolz
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