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  #1  
Old 05-04-2012, 06:06 PM
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Default So, ladies...

Let's say your SO makes a new female friend. Let's also say this particular female friend, while apparently being nice to your SO, snubs you. She is cold and uninterested in cultivating any sort of friendship with you despite attempts on your part to get to know her.

Would you be totally cool with your SO spending time with this person, or would it make you uncomfortable? Would you be contemplating her intentions or just shrug it off and let it go?
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:11 PM
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I think you So better forget about her and spend that time with you. IF she acts like that to you, why would he even bother to care about her in even a friend capacity?
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:13 PM
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He should be smart enough to get rid of her.
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:18 PM
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If she can't be friends with us both, then she wouldn't be friends with either of us. If he insists on staying friends with her when she treats you like that....then there IS something to worry about.
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:23 PM
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Not a lady, but let me pose a question... Most women have a network of friends, and regardless of the gender of the friends, there tends to be one or more that just don't like your boyfriend/fiance/husband, for whatever reason, and "you" (collective) don't throw those friends away. Why should he? Again, regardless of the gender of the friend; Believe it or not, men and women are capable of platonic friendship. It's about jealousy on your part. How about trusting your SO to let go of the friendship if he feels that said friend is trying to go too far? You have your friends, let him have his friends, get rid of the double standard.
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:24 PM
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I totally agree ... if she isn't friendly towards you despite your attempts he should recognize this. If a new friend was so unfriendly towards my BF I can't say I would be terribly interested in pursuing a friendship with them, at least not a close one.
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SevenSins View Post
Not a lady, but let me pose a question... Most women have a network of friends, and regardless of the gender of the friends, there tends to be one or more that just don't like your boyfriend/fiance/husband, for whatever reason, and "you" (collective) don't throw those friends away. Why should he? Again, regardless of the gender of the friend; Believe it or not, men and women are capable of platonic friendship. It's about jealousy on your part. How about trusting your SO to let go of the friendship if he feels that said friend is trying to go too far? You have your friends, let him have his friends, get rid of the double standard.
Actually I don't think it is appropriate for women to have male friends who are rude to and don't want to be around their husbands either. I think at that point in your life everyone should be mature enough to be friends together, if they are not mature enough for that, then I am guessing they are not mature enough to be in a serious relationship.
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SevenSins View Post
Not a lady, but let me pose a question... Most women have a network of friends, and regardless of the gender of the friends, there tends to be one or more that just don't like your boyfriend/fiance/husband, for whatever reason, and "you" (collective) don't throw those friends away. Why should he? Again, regardless of the gender of the friend; Believe it or not, men and women are capable of platonic friendship. It's about jealousy on your part. How about trusting your SO to let go of the friendship if he feels that said friend is trying to go too far? You have your friends, let him have his friends, get rid of the double standard.
The difference for me is that this sounds like this is a new relationship, not someone he's known for a long time. I have a close friend who I suspect isn't very fond of my boyfriend (our boyfriends don't really get along) - she wouldn't say anything but I have my suspicions lol. She was around before my boyfriend and has been an excellent friend to me so we continue to hang out with no problems. However, if I were to meet a new person who was cold and unfriendly with my SO despite his attempts that would put a serious damper on my first impressions of them and like I said, I can't say that would make me too interested in pursuing a serious, close friendship. Maybe that's just me though!
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:30 PM
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I'd get rid of her.


(yes, I realize how psychopathic that sounds. I stand by it.)

I am wayyyy to nosy to let el boyfriendo have female friends that I also cannot hang out & get along with.
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  #10  
Old 05-04-2012, 06:33 PM
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Of course platonic friendship is possible, and the question is as broad as it seems - not just about jealousy or the possibility of cheating. That's a factor, but it was also a question posed to couples about said platonic friends.

I'm certainly not advocating a double standard. Even if it's flipped around, for the female side of things! Would you ladies be okay with having a friend who straight up didn't respond to your SO's attempts at friendship, with no obvious rudeness or a reason to dislike your SO? Just plain old "not interested"? Would it make any difference if it hurt your SO's feelings that this person wanted nothing to do with them, yet still initiated a ton of contact with you?

The question is hypothetical, but I've been in both situations and both are awkward and a bit disappointing.
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