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  #41  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:08 PM
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Interesting.

So, is Tanya's dad a bully? He pokes and prods and annoys, etc. Not becuase he thinks we can't respond, but because he knows we won't, not in a direct way out of respect.

Is a bully a bully if you don't let them "win" by getting upset?
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  #42  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:14 PM
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Is it bullying if you are able and do fight back but it continues?
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  #43  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:24 PM
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Is a bully a bully if you don't let them "win" by getting upset?

No, then I just think that they are sad and pathetic individuals.

But, the problem is that kids live in the now and don't seem to get that. It's all about what is happening today and they have no concept of the future. I was bullied terribly in school. My self esteem was dirt, and I was miserable. I wish I could bottle what I know now and send it back to my teen self. Most of the people who bullied me are such sad creatures now. The other day one of the mean girls from high school waited on me at a fast food place. That's the one with a job

But, adults told me the same thing when I was a kid. If only they would hear it and take it to heart.
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  #44  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:35 PM
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Is it bullying if you are able and do fight back but it continues?
No, then it's just some stupid jerk who likes getting his ass handed to him. Or is too stupid or egotistical to realize it's happening.

It's not that hard to recognize bullying, unless you just want to split academic hairs arguing over it. You know it when you see it happening.
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  #45  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:36 PM
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I don't really agree much with trying to compare cyber-bullying to bullying someone in person. Something said on a forum =/= something said to your face. It's simply different.
It may be different but there's absolutely nothing wrong with comparing it. People have been hurt and killed themselves over stuff people have said and done on the internet. Bullying is bullying no matter where it occurs.
Beating somebody up after school every day is not the same as verbally tormenting somebody, either, but both are still bullying. And it's definitely not right to start claiming if it's better to be punched in the face or have somebody say terrible things, not right to say it's better to be bullied face to face or online. Sort of a personal, individual thing.

Bullying comes in many forms. I don't think it has to be repetitive to count as bullying, I think you can bully someone in a singular incident. Like there's bullying for the sake of bullying and then there's bullying somebody to get what you want... obviously bullying somebody to get what you want is quite a bit different than the kid who throws rocks at another kid every day on his walk home from school, but from a linguistic standpoint, both are "bullying." I also don't think the expectation of retaliation has anything to do with it. I would say people are LESS LIKELY to bully when they think they will be retaliated against - just like people are less likely to talk ($@* face to face but run their mouths on the internet when they have the power of anonymity behind them - but if you do or don't expect someone to retaliate is not the defining point of bullying or not bullying.
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  #46  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:41 PM
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For me not being able to retaliate is the difference between a bully and picking a fight.
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  #47  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
No, then it's just some stupid jerk who likes getting his ass handed to him. Or is too stupid or egotistical to realize it's happening.

It's not that hard to recognize bullying, unless you just want to split academic hairs arguing over it. You know it when you see it happening.
Please stop talking to me like I am an idiot. I get it, you think you are smarter than I am. I get that in just about every conversation we have. Maybe you are but good grief.

I actually totally disagree. I think you can still be a bully even when someone fights back. I don't think the recipient has to be weak in order for someone to be a bully. Do you think homosexuals are weak? Unable to fight off bullies? I don't believe the act changes just because someone fights back. I remember a thread on chaz years ago about bullying and a young member said she fought back all the time but it just made things worse. To me a bully is a bully no matter the reaction of the target
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  #48  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
No, then it's just some stupid jerk who likes getting his ass handed to him. Or is too stupid or egotistical to realize it's happening.

It's not that hard to recognize bullying, unless you just want to split academic hairs arguing over it. You know it when you see it happening.
No, but if we are going to start legislating it then it is going to HAVE to be legally defined. Questions like the ones that sparks is asking are perfectly legitimate and those issues could very well come up.
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  #49  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Renee750il View Post
You know it when you see it happening.
That's a load of BS.
You mean "You know it when you see it happening against somebody you like."

But if somebody one doesn't like is being bullied - or somebody one thinks "deserves" it - it's cool.
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  #50  
Old 04-07-2012, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Beanie View Post
It may be different but there's absolutely nothing wrong with comparing it. People have been hurt and killed themselves over stuff people have said and done on the internet. Bullying is bullying no matter where it occurs.
Beating somebody up after school every day is not the same as verbally tormenting somebody, either, but both are still bullying. And it's definitely not right to start claiming if it's better to be punched in the face or have somebody say terrible things, not right to say it's better to be bullied face to face or online. Sort of a personal, individual thing.

Bullying comes in many forms. I don't think it has to be repetitive to count as bullying, I think you can bully someone in a singular incident. Like there's bullying for the sake of bullying and then there's bullying somebody to get what you want... obviously bullying somebody to get what you want is quite a bit different than the kid who throws rocks at another kid every day on his walk home from school, but from a linguistic standpoint, both are "bullying." I also don't think the expectation of retaliation has anything to do with it. I would say people are LESS LIKELY to bully when they think they will be retaliated against - just like people are less likely to talk ($@* face to face but run their mouths on the internet when they have the power of anonymity behind them - but if you do or don't expect someone to retaliate is not the defining point of bullying or not bullying.
GOOD POST

I agree with everything you said here. I guess bullies can take many forms and there really isn't a definitive answer to it but I do wish schools would take a stronger stand on bullying (and the law for that matter when one teports harrassment online and in person). You seem to hear so many stories of parents going to the ends of the earth with schools to stop the torment but to no avail
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