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  #11  
Old 04-04-2012, 10:13 PM
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Afterwards, both girls "help" me get dressed by placing items of clothes against parts of my body. This is very cute, but does not get me dressed.


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We go upstairs; the ballet teacher asks me to put the girls' hair up and I punch her in the face. Sike! I laugh and say I did my best, and she says it's all right.
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  #12  
Old 04-04-2012, 10:17 PM
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I think work would be easier than being a SAHM! lol
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  #13  
Old 04-04-2012, 11:01 PM
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Maybe I'll journal my day tomorrow and type it up. That woman's was impressive, but add a third child, 2 dogs, and 2 horses to the mix and have some of that!

And if you really want to get in depth, start adding in various doctor's appointments and therapy visits for your special needs child.

People always ask me how I manage to get my kids to go to bed at 7 pm. The answer? Because I put them there. I don't care. They are going to bed at 7 pm. Period. End of story. The only alternative is for me to go surrender myself to the local fire department (you can drop off babies...maybe they take parents too?).

I went back to work part-time (about 4-6 hours a day) when Cole was a year old. My mom drove out to my place to keep him for me. I'm being totally honest when I say that it was easier for me to be a "good mom" and "good wife" when I worked than when I was home all day with him. At least at work you do get to get away. You get to have conversations with people that have more than a 200 word vocabulary. You get to be an adult. You get to have your friends.

The hardest part about being a SAHM is giving up those adult relationships. I miss that so much. I am super-blessed to be able to stay at home with my boys, but I'd be lying if I said that there weren't days that I didn't wish I was back at the clinic doing my thing. I've lost touch with many people, and really the only close friends I have left are the 2 I've had since kindergarten and before.

I give all the respect to working moms. I know my friend, and old neighbor, just said she couldn't be the mom she needed to be by staying home with her 2 boys all day. She needed to go to work and have time away. This meant that once she left work, she was running ragged with physical therapy (her oldest has CP) and all the other activities they are involved in. Somehow she also had to get supper cooked as well.

I don't think it's easy either way. But I do think that staying at home puts a more emotional strain on a mother. That's my opinion based off of my own experience staying and home and working.
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  #14  
Old 04-05-2012, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Shai View Post
A good parent is engaged and involved in their kids' lives regardless whether they work outside the home or not, or whether they are the mom or dad...

Granted my mom worked plus raised the kids while my dad traveled a lot, and even managed to produce three productive members of society who are well-adjusted and, so far as I know, never felt anything but supported in all our interests as kids.

But then the older I get, the more I realize my mom is and was pretty much a superhero
no one is saying anything otherwise. not one person has said that stay at home moms are superior but there seems to be this idea that we all just pull a "peg bundy" and sit around eating bon bons all day.

My mother worked too.

NO ONE ever thought I would end up being a stay at home mom. heck no one could believe I was even going to have kids at all lol. I don't think I'm superior to working mothers. although I DO hate it when people say "oh you're a stay at home mom. must be nice" as if someone's just handing it to us and my husband doesn't work his arse off to make this possible. yes it IS nice but it's not exactly a cakewalk lol.

that being said... we had a pretty decent start to the day today lol. Hannah and I have both been exhausted everyday this week. this morning around 5:30 am she kept having dreams and would whimper and cry. When Brian got up I went in and brought her into my bed. she went back to sleep but kept having these dreams where she would cry and I would "shh shhh shhh it's ok" until the crying stopped and she was sleeping peacefully again lol. this was about every 15 minutes (I don't know WHAT was up with that. poor thing)

finally I also dozed off...d espite hannah sleeping diagonally in the bed kneading my leg with her toes in her sleep lol. and we didn't wake up until about 9:45 lol.

Now she's in my bed watching a movie on my phone... I suspect she's not feeling 100%

But it's been a glorious morning LOL I needed to sleep in a little extra SO badly... apparently she did too lol
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  #15  
Old 04-05-2012, 09:27 AM
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no one is saying anything otherwise. not one person has said that stay at home moms are superior but there seems to be this idea that we all just pull a "peg bundy" and sit around eating bon bons all day.

My mother worked too.

NO ONE ever thought I would end up being a stay at home mom. heck no one could believe I was even going to have kids at all lol. I don't think I'm superior to working mothers. although I DO hate it when people say "oh you're a stay at home mom. must be nice" as if someone's just handing it to us and my husband doesn't work his arse off to make this possible. yes it IS nice but it's not exactly a cakewalk lol.
This, exactly. I even signed a contract with my uncle that I would NEVER have children lol. Though I guess technically now I am a work at home mom as I recently started a job I do at home...but I cant wait to be caught up enough to quit that.

I will say this, while there is NOTHING wrong about mother's working, I do think for the babies and children themselves, in a perfect world it is best for them to be at home with their mama. HOWEVER, children are very adaptable and again, NOTHING wrong with not staying at home.

But yeah, it gets annoying when other moms say stuff like "Oh must be nice, wish we could afford to do that" as they drive off in their brand new SUV to their huge mcmansion.
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  #16  
Old 04-05-2012, 09:38 AM
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But yeah, it gets annoying when other moms say stuff like "Oh must be nice, wish we could afford to do that" as they drive off in their brand new SUV to their huge mcmansion.
yeah this drives me crazy. My sister is like this. her first born is about to turn 1 year old and in canada that means it's time for her to go back to work (1 year maternity leave) and she's all like "I wish I could afford to stay home like you. must be nice. don't you at least want to earn some money?"

ARGH. First of all IF you really wanted to stay home you (by your I mean my sister lol) could.... your husband is an electrician and a specialized one and works for the university and makes a VERY VERY good wage but then you wouldn't be able to buy $300 towels. I mean if you want $300 towels and other such luxuries that's all fine and dandy but don't act like you've got it rough because you "HAVE to go back to work"

people just always seem to act like someone is handing us the money to do this. NO ... my husband works his behind off (and if you've ever seen him... he doesn't have much hiney to work off lol). he busts his hump day in and day out to make this possible. our house is small and we have to evaluate what is worth the money to purchase and what isn't. We are also blessed because we have enough left over to prepare for retirement and enjoy some luxuries.

I also agree with Miakoda, being a stay at home mom can be emotionally draining. Especially days when I have PMS lol. Luckily over the last 4 1/2 years I've finally started getting us integrated with more and more people that give me access to more adults LOL
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  #17  
Old 04-05-2012, 09:44 AM
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Yes, mom time is a MUST! I had two high needs babies, both were round the clock constant nursers and my daughter especially was a horrible HORRIBLE sleeper. But, my husband is an awesome father who genuinely loves being around the kids. I met some wonderful, awesome moms in a local AP group who have since become very close friends (and luckily lol, our children really like each other too!) Now that we are getting to school age, again, we were lucky, many of our current "group" decided to homeschool as well so we kind of get to just keep on keeping on

I will admit, homeschooling adds an extra "layer" to staying at home with the children. There are some days when I think, but if they were in school I could be doing x,y,z. But to me, its worth it in the long run.
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  #18  
Old 04-05-2012, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Greenmagick View Post

I will admit, homeschooling adds an extra "layer" to staying at home with the children. There are some days when I think, but if they were in school I could be doing x,y,z. But to me, its worth it in the long run.
yes absolutely. Now, Hannah is only 4 1/2 so actual "schooling" time is only in 15 minute increments lol. But I am facing the "beginner homeschooler" FREAK OUTS lol. the OMG where do I start? can I do this? What am I thinking?

Luckily, after joining the homeschool Co op I've discovered that this is completely normal lol. I truly thank God for these women who keep me grounded and talk me down lol

Add in to the usual stuff... I'm being tortured by a helicopter that keeps flying by my house every 10 minutes barely above tree line with a dude sitting out on a platform. I'm starting to feel like one of those paranoid drug addicts from the movies who think they are being followed

My first year of being a SAHM was probably the hardest. I didn't have a drivers license so we were essentially STUCK at home lol. That is when I put on all that weight. I spent the first year sitting on the couch staring at my baby lol and the pounds packed on and on and on. the house was a disaster, I had no time management skills at all let alone domestic skills lol. next thing I knew I was a 250+ lb woman with no means to get out of the house and no friends (we had just moved to the area we live now)

I've come a long way in 4 years lol and now I'm starting to feel like I've really got it together... I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop
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“Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.”


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“Family fun is as necessary to modern living as a kitchen refrigerator.” – Walt Disney






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  #19  
Old 04-05-2012, 10:49 AM
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I wish I could find the study I read a year or two ago. They found absolutely no cognitive/emotional difference in teens who had SAHM's vs working moms their whole life. The only difference the study found is that boys who had working mothers were more likely to see women as equal to men than boys who had their moms stay home.

Bottom line is, mom needs to do what makes her happiest, because baby will be just fine no matter what. A happy mother is a good mother.
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  #20  
Old 04-05-2012, 10:56 AM
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good old studies lol

I'm sure you could find studies stating the opposite too. that's kind of the problem with studies, you can basically prove whatever point you are trying to make.

I'm not saying SAHM's are better than working moms or anything like that but I don't put too much stock in anything "studies" say these days.
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“Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.”


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“Family fun is as necessary to modern living as a kitchen refrigerator.” – Walt Disney






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