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  #41  
Old 03-29-2012, 04:34 PM
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No, I would not.
Like Dizzy said, I love him, warts and all.
Sure there are bad eggs everywhere - but I have a pretty good sense of people. Besides - we both live incredibly boring lives.



Quote:
Originally Posted by sassafras View Post
Seriously, I don't even get the "my paycheck goes into my account, your paycheck goes into your account" thing for married couples. I know it works for a lot of people, and whatever floats your boat, but... I just personally don't get it.
Me neither. SO is a fan of it - mostly because his parents have split accounts. I'd be way to lazy to do that. I have better things to do than try and figure out who pays what, or who pays what for potential kid. Siriously? Do you have too much time on your hands? Lifes to short for things like that.
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  #42  
Old 03-29-2012, 04:40 PM
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Heh, no. People thought I should just because I met my boyfriend online.
He was perfectly open about his credit card debt, and we worked to get it squared away. My credit history is perfect and he is aware of that. I'm not worried about anything he's done in the past enough to warrant a background check. I don't think I'm at a point in my life where that is something I need to be worrying about, and I'm a little weirded out by how often I see it being portrayed as the norm in movies and television shows.
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  #43  
Old 03-29-2012, 04:41 PM
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A really good friend of mine was engaged to a man she thought she knew. She had a little boy about 2 years old. A week before they were supposed to get married the police showed up at his door and arrested him because he was a convicted child rapist and wasn't supposed to be anywhere near children under 18. He never told her that. I hate to think what could have happened to her son if the police didn't show up and she ended up marrying him.
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  #44  
Old 03-29-2012, 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Romy View Post
A really good friend of mine was engaged to a man she thought she knew. She had a little boy about 2 years old. A week before they were supposed to get married the police showed up at his door and arrested him because he was a convicted child rapist and wasn't supposed to be anywhere near children under 18. He never told her that. I hate to think what could have happened to her son if the police didn't show up and she ended up marrying him.
How awful in so many ways

Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to know everything about my husband. I don't claim to be a wonderful judge of character, don't claim I could never be suckered by a con man or smooth operator (pretty sure Kevin is neither of those, the mere thought makes me ROFL)

As I said, there are very few things that come to mind that would make me leave Kevin, before or after we were wed........the above scenario would DEFINITELY be one of them! Provided I believed it was true, which is another can of worms eh?
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  #45  
Old 03-29-2012, 06:09 PM
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I would never order a background check on someone. If I wasn't 100% comfortable with him, I wouldn't be making a commitment to him.
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  #46  
Old 03-29-2012, 06:48 PM
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No, I wouldn't unless I had reservations or something that caused me to wonder. Personally, I wouldn't care if someone did that to me though I am always 100% honest.

I've known probably 100 people with bad divorce stories. I'm all for a prenup, depending on the situation.
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  #47  
Old 03-29-2012, 07:02 PM
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No, but I'd love to get one done on myself for sh!ts and giggles..LOL

His past is his past, and my past is my past. If he has any questions, he can ask and I will openly respond (I am a very open person....lol) and he does the same.
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  #48  
Old 03-29-2012, 07:41 PM
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Here in Iowa, our court records are online, and you can bet your arse that I look somebody up on there when I meet them. One of my previous dates had assault with intent on his record. Second date? No thanks.
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  #49  
Old 03-29-2012, 09:35 PM
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Wow.... you guys really ran with this. Thanks because I was really pondering.

I think at this point, yep I would. Probably at the point where we were deciding to move in together because that is taking the step towards a probable commitment. While trust is earned and I hope that I am the best judge of character sometimes there are deal breakers that someone might not want me to know about. It doesn't mean I would love them less or that I would be hiring a PI but I might check to see where they lived, if they were ever married before, had kids in other places, done prison time, had major credit issues, etc. It's just like even if I'm madly in love and trusting of a person we're both still getting STD tests.

As far as the prenup I don't really consider these things the same thing but I can absolutely understand those who do it - especially if substantial wealth is involved. I know several businesses which have been destroyed after divorce - affecting the lives of many many people.
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  #50  
Old 03-29-2012, 10:03 PM
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I'm young and my boyfriend is young. I am really not concerned about it, and I think it would be terribly insulting to him or to me if either one of us did a background check behind each others' backs.
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