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  #31  
Old 03-12-2012, 05:04 PM
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That is interesting, most parents just leave it up to the other parent what they want to be called. Darien calls many parents Mr.. or Mrs... but the parents or adults who want to be called by their names are fine. The kids who's parents wish to be called Mr... or Mrs.. don't seem to have issues with their kids calling the adults by what the adults prefer. To me that is more respectful than calling them a name they aren't as comfortable with.
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  #32  
Old 03-12-2012, 05:25 PM
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That is interesting, most parents just leave it up to the other parent what they want to be called. Darien calls many parents Mr.. or Mrs... but the parents or adults who want to be called by their names are fine. The kids who's parents wish to be called Mr... or Mrs.. don't seem to have issues with their kids calling the adults by what the adults prefer. To me that is more respectful than calling them a name they aren't as comfortable with.
yeah... I think the kids should go with whatever their parents deem appropriate. We have friends who have their children call all their elders Mr/Mrs and since I don't really care what they call me I figure it's not my place to tell them otherwise. I suppose if it REALLY upset me that they called me that I would tell them to stop but I can't fathom why it would bother me that they refer to me as Mrs Beakes. As long as it's not appropriate and truly offensive I can't see making an issue of it. If they were taught to refer to their elders a certain way, I'll let them call me what they think they should call me.

My best friends parents always said Oh call me Pat but I just couldn't do it. I kept calling them Mr and Mrs. I couldn't call them by their first names lol. They understood.

Basically, if the kids are trying to pratice the brand of respect they were brought up with why would it bother me. I get the basic idea that they are being respectful even if it's not my personal choice of things to be called, I appreciate the sentiment.

some of my friends kids call me Tanya, some call me Ms Tanya and some call me Mrs Beakes. I'm Ok with all of them, they all apply to me and I understand the idea behind it.
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  #33  
Old 03-12-2012, 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by sparks19 View Post
As it is now we have Hannah call adults Ms first name or Mr first name. Some people might find it strange but we find it respectful, so it just varies from family to family. growing up I called close family friends "Aunt/Uncle" lol my one brothers kids don't call me aunt Tanya and my other brothers kids do call me Aunt Tanya lol. I don't care either way. I just try to respect their parents teachings
I like when little kids call me Miss Beanie, but it's weird when anybody else does it LOL. It seems so cute for kids to toddle around calling me Miss Beanie, I don't know why, LOL.


My parents were always "Beanie's mom" or "Beanie's dad." I don't think my mom really wanted to be Mrs. Lastname or even Mrs. Firstname.
I don't like "ma'am" (and I agree that it's kind of an ugly word to say!) but I think I would rather be called "ma'am" than "miss." I don't really like either though. I don't find them necessary to be used either, really... "excuse me" works just as well as "excuse me, miss?" And yeah I think "hey you" would be preferable to ma'am or miss LOL.
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  #34  
Old 03-12-2012, 05:36 PM
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We didn't really actively teach hannah to call people ma'am or Sir but she must have picked it up by listening to us and one day we were at the park and she walked up to this little girl's dad and said "Excuse me Ma'am" LOL I was like DOH but he just laughed lol awkward
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  #35  
Old 03-12-2012, 05:43 PM
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That being said, there have been quite a few times when I've been out west or up north and they thought I was completely disrespectful because I was using ma'am or sir. One of my aunts told me to stop saying yes ma'am to her because she was not old, but I just CAN'T DO IT. haha
LoL i live way up north ( MN) i've actually seen several women give funny looks when a guy calls someone ma'am. I get the point though, just weird to hear it out of the blue and i was thinking " is he calling me old?!"
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  #36  
Old 03-12-2012, 06:19 PM
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Basically, if the kids are trying to pratice the brand of respect they were brought up with why would it bother me. I get the basic idea that they are being respectful even if it's not my personal choice of things to be called, I appreciate the sentiment.

some of my friends kids call me Tanya, some call me Ms Tanya and some call me Mrs Beakes. I'm Ok with all of them, they all apply to me and I understand the idea behind it.
Not to pick on you... lol but this is an interesting point. Who is respect for? If someone would rather be called X, is it more respectful to call them what they wish to be called, or call them a name you have been taught is respectful (forgetting if its hard to do due to 'training.. I get that) But as for teaching a child, what IS more respectful?

Thinking about it, I think if my child is unsure and asks the adult how they would prefer him to refer to them and then follows it, that is showing interest in their wishes. To me showing sincere interest and helping someone be most comfortable is showing a high level of respect.
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  #37  
Old 03-12-2012, 06:28 PM
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Not to pick on you... lol but this is an interesting point. Who is respect for? If someone would rather be called X, is it more respectful to call them what they wish to be called, or call them a name you have been taught is respectful (forgetting if its hard to do due to 'training.. I get that) But as for teaching a child, what IS more respectful?

Thinking about it, I think if my child is unsure and asks the adult how they would prefer him to refer to them and then follows it, that is showing interest in their wishes. To me showing sincere interest and helping someone be most comfortable is showing a high level of respect.
This this this this! It is not respectful to refuse to call someone by their wishes. (Or more accurately, to train a child to call everyone the exact same thing, regardless of their wishes). It frustrates me to be called "Miss Karen" or "ma'am", and while it's not worth throwing a hissy fit over of course, I really wish that parents would ask what I want to be called before instructing their child, or teach them to listen to what the person says they'd like to be called.
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  #38  
Old 03-12-2012, 06:32 PM
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YES! I hate "ma'am"! I would seriously almost rather be called "hey you!"

I was raised to be extremely respectful to adults. I don't understand why "Yes, please" and "No, thank you" aren't sufficient, or "No, Mrs. S" and "Yes, mom, sorry mom", etc.

I always ask kids to stop calling me "ma'am". It just makes me ridiculously uncomfortable.
I agree with this 100% (especially the first sentence!!)
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  #39  
Old 03-12-2012, 06:39 PM
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I don't mind being called ma'am at all. I usually get honey and sweetheart (or babydoll, which is the worst) which make me crazy. There's something about my face that makes people want to treat me like I'm 12, even when they know I'm not.

When I worked retail, I called everyone ma'am (if I had to get their attention). I hope I didn't offend people.

Edit: Called every female ma'am. Men were sir.

Last edited by Red.Apricot; 03-12-2012 at 07:04 PM.
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  #40  
Old 03-12-2012, 06:55 PM
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I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be called Ma'm. It most certainly IS a mark of respect, something added that stands for respect. I love how the southerners are taught to use it and I wish all children would be taught that. I also love it when little children use "Miss" before my name. I'm thinking back on the many people I've known in my past who were from the south...kids I babysat, friends and even some of my relatives. I'm from the north and I think that little term is something we missed out on. By using that little term, Ma'm, it is a split of a second of holding back. Just say it to yourself. "Yes, Ma'm." A split of a second longer in which to think...respect. I'm all for it. I do get it a lot from people in stores, even though this is the north.... mostly men. I appreciate it a lot. Of course it doesn't replace good manners and respect. It's in addition to...that extra icing on the cake.
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