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  #21  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:10 PM
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As for the Mr./Mrs. stuff, heck, I'm in my thirties and refer to my in-laws as Mr. or Mrs. (first name). My hubby is the same with my mom. In fact, this is the norm for most of the people I know.

I'll tell y'all what personally irks me: my younger brother and did-in-law have instructed their kids to call us (aunt/uncles) by our first names. I despise having an 11-yr-old (& 7, 6, 5, 3-yr-olds) talk to me like I'm their school/playground friend. Without the proper salutation (uncle/aunt) the age barrier and respect are absent.
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Last edited by Miakoda; 03-12-2012 at 03:21 PM.
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  #22  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:13 PM
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I really hate it. Its not that common here to call someone Ma'am so it really stands out when someone does it. It still irritated me when I was in the US, but because it was so common I kind of got used to it.
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  #23  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:16 PM
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I understand why it's used, and it doesn't bug me if people call me that. But I irrationally think it's an unpleasant-sounding word, along the likes of moist, chunks, ointment, seepage, etc. So basically, I don't mind other people calling me that but I try to avoid saying it myself.

(I just noticed that I couldn't even bring myself to type that word, haha)
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  #24  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miakoda View Post
As for the Mr./Mrs. stuff, heck, I'm in my thirties and refer to my in-laws as Mr. or Mrs. (first name). My hubby is the same with my mom. In fact, this is the norm for most of the people I know.

I'll tell y'all what personally irks me: my younger brother and did-in-law have instructed their kids to call us (aunt/uncles) by our first names. I despise having an 11-yr-old (& 7, 6, 5, 3-yr-olds) talk to me like I'm their school/playground friend. With the proper salutation, the age barrier and respect are absent.
I called my aunt by her first name once and got yelled at majorly. But I wasn't even talking to her, she called and asked to talk to my dad, so I said "Joanne's on the phone". Frankly, you better show me respect if you want respect, beig a family member doesn't automatically get it.
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  #25  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Miakoda View Post
This.

Here in southern Louisiana, it's standard terminology. To me it sounds polite and courteous.
Its the norm here as well.
I do it all the time.

And I still say Aunt/Uncle *insert name*
I've always done it.

If I don't say Yes/no ma'am/sir, I feel bad for not saying it. My dad would ring me a new one if he heard me say "Yea" to someone (other than my friends, even then I only say it to a couple of friends just cause I've known them forever and they don't care). But my dad really HATES that word "Yea".
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  #26  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:31 PM
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I don't know... for me everyone deserves basic respect. Like customer A may be a pain in the arse and very unpleasant but they still deserve basic manners
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  #27  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:36 PM
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I don't know... for me everyone deserves basic respect. Like customer A may be a pain in the arse and very unpleasant but they still deserve basic manners
Oh I'm still respectful to people and maintain my manners, but to me, aunt/uncle isnt manners/basic respect. It very well may just be because it's my family, though. That certain aunt thinks we are the scum of earth and would like us to die, so...
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  #28  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:45 PM
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I don't know... for me everyone deserves basic respect. Like customer A may be a pain in the arse and very unpleasant but they still deserve basic manners
Everyone does deserve respect. But calling me Ma'am isn't showing respect. Its just something some people where 'trained' to do, its not like you say Ma'am only to those you deeply respect. Its what many people call a strange woman over a certain age.

I don't find someone not saying Sir/Ma'am less respectful. I would say tone of voice, eye contact, mannerisms show more about how they really feel. When I was in the US this summer I got called Ma'am by bored disrespectful teenage types. It was like it's a habit, not a conscious demonstration of respect.

Some parents have their kid's friends call them by their first name. I am one of them. Mrs Harper is my MIL There is nothing wrong with my name.. its MINE HOW they say my name and talk to me is far more telling to me than if they call me by a more generic last name or VERY generic Ma'am.

hmmm I guess I also don't like Ma'am as its very depersonalizing. Its a catch all term for millions of women.
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  #29  
Old 03-12-2012, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
Everyone does deserve respect. But calling me Ma'am isn't showing respect. Its just something some people where 'trained' to do, its not like you say Ma'am only to those you deeply respect. Its what many people call a strange woman over a certain age.

I don't find someone not saying Sir/Ma'am less respectful. I would say tone of voice, eye contact, mannerisms show more about how they really feel. When I was in the US this summer I got called Ma'am by bored disrespectful teenage types. It was like it's a habit, not a conscious demonstration of respect.

Some parents have their kid's friends call them by their first name. I am one of them. Mrs Harper is my MIL There is nothing wrong with my name.. its MINE HOW they say my name and talk to me is far more telling to me than if they call me by a more generic last name or VERY generic Ma'am.

hmmm I guess I also don't like Ma'am as its very depersonalizing. Its a catch all term for millions of women.
This

I dont see how using the word ma'am somehow is all of a sudden more respectful. Again, in the workplace I would use it if I didnt have the clients name handy but to me, the word ma'am is kind of cold and formal.
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  #30  
Old 03-12-2012, 04:01 PM
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I'm not saying ma'am is or is not respectful. I was more commenting on the "you have to give respect to be treated with respect". I agree that you should treat people how you want to be treated but I think everyone deserves basic respect. what constitutes basic respect I guess depends on how you were raised. like Sally may be a bitch but it's no reason to just say "hey bitch" LOL (my apologies to any Sally's on the board lol)

Hannah's friends will call me whatever their parents deem appropriate I guess. if their parents want their kids to refer to me as Mrs then that is what they will call me. If they want their kids to call me by my first name, that's what they will call me. I personally don't really care what they call me as long as they aren't blatantly rude so whatever their parents are teaching them in that regard is what I would follow.

As it is now we have Hannah call adults Ms first name or Mr first name. Some people might find it strange but we find it respectful, so it just varies from family to family. growing up I called close family friends "Aunt/Uncle" lol my one brothers kids don't call me aunt Tanya and my other brothers kids do call me Aunt Tanya lol. I don't care either way. I just try to respect their parents teachings
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