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Old 03-07-2012, 08:33 PM
Backward_Cinderella
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Default Does anyone else ever just need a freaking break???

I'm going out of my mind... I feel like I'm this | | close to a panic attack. I haven't had a panic attack in over a year.

I spend all day cleaning and doing school and chasing after Winnie and dealing with nine million other things... and I have ZERO time for me. I cleaned the whole house today, top to bottom, all the EFFING things... First Piglet pees on the floor (I don't know what her deal is, I guess we need to work on house breaking now - Humane Society said she already was, whatever) then Winnie takes off her diaper and pees on the floor... So I give her a bath... then she finds the powdered sugar somewhere and spreads it all over the floor, herself, the washing machine, cabinets and dogs - all of which I've just cleaned. Jon's not feeling good today so he's not a lot of help. I cleaned EVERYTHING up, and then Winnie tears up a book all over the floor in our bedroom. I just got done making the bed and went to sit on the couch to rest for a minute thinking Jon was watching her. Nope. Not so.

I want a break. I want to go somewhere with no kids, or take Winnie back to being three months old when she started sleeping through the night but was still cuddly and not running all over the place destroying all the things.

My head and mouth have been hurting for two weeks, I have a cavity where a filling came out and I have to wait until freaking APRIL for my dental insurance to kick in... It was military dentists that put the filling in in the first place, I'm not sure I trust them to do this again.

I want to go to Arizona, go to the ranch and pitch a tent on the edge of the property where nobody can come bother me. I'm sick of everything and every one and not having any time for me. I wanna go dance naked in the woods somewhere, but I'm afraid to even practice my freaking religion right now for fear that someone's going to vandalize our house or worse again. I hate Texas. I want to go back to Colorado and be done with everything for a LONG time.

FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I'm gonna get the hell of the internet, take my bottle of wine to bed, and drink and read a book until I fall asleep. Not the norm for me, but damnit right now I freaking DESERVE it.


UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cookie and a glass of wine to you if you read that whole thing.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:38 PM
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Gypsydals Gypsydals is offline
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*Raises her hand*. I want to take a break, mostly from the stuff at work, but a few other things. A nice week long trip to my friends house in another state would be nice right now. But its not even a possibility until late summer. So yup I feel your frustration.
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:54 PM
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Right there with you, except my kiddo STILL doesn't sleep through the night (granted, it's usually just a 'walk in and say 'hey, back to sleep with you' or give him a beverage, but it's waking up nonetheless)
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:39 PM
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Oh god yes. I think I have (over dramatically of course) said "I'm going to lay down on the floor and wait for swift death." at least 50 times in the last few days.
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:53 PM
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For me, the key is to just not worry about a clean house. With kids and dogs there are pretty much always going to be messes, and lots of them lol...nature of the beast. I know thats obvious, but sometimes in the moment you get caught up in the moment. And yes, some days are just too much for sure!!!

And ****! Three months and sleeping through the night??? I am jealous lol...mine were both at least two.
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Old 03-08-2012, 01:09 AM
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I kind of read that and it... well sounded like normal family life!!!

Are you sure that's what's stressing you out, or is it something you haven't even considered?
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Old 03-08-2012, 04:28 AM
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((((hugs))))

I have a timer set every two hours as a reminder to take breaks. The rule is you have to drink a big glass of water and get a snack. It's made a huge difference in not getting burnt out.

Sorry it's so hard right now. If you were closer I'd take Winnie for a while so you could go chill. (((hugs))) about the religion thing too. It's a horrible thing to not feel safe practicing your faith anywhere, much less your own home.
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Old 03-08-2012, 07:44 AM
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I was feeling that last night. It's a full moon now so Hannah and the dogs have been super wound up (and GRUMPY) all week...e ach day just getting worse leading up to the full moon lol. Hubby was at Men's group with our church last night so it was just me and hannah was making a big deal out of every little thing. like silly things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things (like where the potty/step stool should be)

When 7:30 came I called it quits lol. I told Hannah it was time to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. she was in bed and asleep by 8. ahhhhhhhhhh... breathing room.

then I laid on the couch with a blanket and watched a movie on Lifetime and had a snack lol.

Doesn't help that I have PMS on top of the full moon which just makes everything seem 10 times worse than it really is lol. But Hannah slept through the night last night (and actuallyt he last few nights... yeah she still doesn't sleep through the night lol. noises outside keep waking her up... usually it's our neighbor going to work at 4 am, when he starts his car she can hear it) and I slept through most of the night, only waking a few times. so now today is a whole lot better even though it's going to be a really busy one and I'm ready for a "chill day" lol.
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Old 03-08-2012, 07:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
I kind of read that and it... well sounded like normal family life!!!

Are you sure that's what's stressing you out, or is it something you haven't even considered?
I kind of wondered the same......

But at the same time, 'normal family life' can get too much at times.

Sometimes the reality of your responsibilities falls on you like bricks and it's just.too.much. Been there, done that. Some days I feel like if ONE more person (even a child) asks for ONE more thing I will explode and take them down with me, LOL

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) for today to bring a better state of mind when you wake up
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Old 03-08-2012, 09:53 AM
Backward_Cinderella
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
I kind of read that and it... well sounded like normal family life!!!

Are you sure that's what's stressing you out, or is it something you haven't even considered?
Honestly, I think its this vandalism sh*t that's going on... We have a ritual coming up for Ostara this month and its supposed to be happening at our house... not only do I not want the house dirty as all get out with a bunch of people here, but I'm worried and scared that this idiot may do something again or even take it to the next level.
I'm afraid to go out and smoke by myself, I'm scared for what's going to happen next time Jon has 24 hour duty (I've already made up my mind - we're ALL going to stay at a friend's house, but it doesn't stop me from worrying.) I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time... I don't like being by myself any more, every little noise scares the crap out of me... WINNIE may be sleeping through the night, but I sure as hell am not any more. Its ridiculous that this is bothering me so much, and I don't know why it is, but I can't freaking make it STOP.
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