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Old 03-07-2012, 02:25 PM
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Lilavati Lilavati is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alexandria, VA
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Default Apocaylpse Report

Looks like the Apocalypse will most likely begin in Australia. The BBC reports that over a quarter million fruit bats have invaded the town of Katherine, Australia. Health authorities are warning Katherine residents to avoid interacting with their new nocturnal neighbors as there is a high probability some of the fruit bats are carrying a rabies-like disease. All Carmen Miranda impersonators have been quarantined for their own protection. Along with a bat plague, the NY Post is reporting that the silly named city of Wagga Wagga has been overtaken by giant white spiderweb mounds. Scientists say spiders use this web technique when confronted by flooding or the possible demise of civilization as we know it . . .

To round off this week in Apocalyptic news, the New York Times is reporting that scientists have corroborated recent data from CERN concerning the existence and discovery of the “God Particle.” God’s publicist gave brief comment to this discovery by releasing the following statement. “God thought he had hidden his particle in a place where no one could find it. Due to this recent discovery, God is considering re-hiding the particle in a better spot. . . such as the laundry hamper or somewhere behind Mars. However, God would like to warn scientists that if they keep finding his hidden stuff, he may just take his ‘God Particle’ and go home.”
You’ve been warned.
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