Dog Site - Dog Stuff
Dog Forum | Dog Pictures

Go Back   Chazhound Dog Forum > Dog Forum News > The Fire Hydrant


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #131  
Old 02-13-2012, 08:25 AM
Lilavati's Avatar
Lilavati Lilavati is offline
Arbitrary and Capricious
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 7,643
Default

All I can think, and I admit I have not watched the video . . . the man annoys me for some reason . . . is that one thing I am sure will not happen is that when that girl is 30, she will not say to her Dad, with a laugh as they sit around the dinner table at Thanksgiving: "Hey, remember the time you shot my laptop because I bad mouthed you?"

This will NOT be a good father daughter memory. Indeed, this is likely one of those things that even as an adult she's not likely to forgive him for. Its also the sort of thing that means that if she ever gets in REAL trouble . . . she may not turn to him for help . . .

Since I haven't watched more than a little bit of the video, I don't know what she said. But I really can't imagine anything she could have said that justifies this sort of escalation: not in the long term.

I also think that destroying the laptop, or even wiping it and giving it away, is too much. Take it away. Lock it up. Let her earn it back . . . but teenagers these days have real uses for computers (like school!). More than that, by making her earn it back, you provide a way to HEAL this . . . she apologizes, does her chores, she gets her laptop back, and life goes on.

Right now this strikes me as one of those ever escalating teen-parent dramas that mess up everyone's life.
__________________
I'm a lawyer, but I'm not YOUR lawyer. Nothing I say should be taken as legal advice.

The Court's extensive review of these pages serves as a useful reminder that loaded guns, sharp objects and law degrees should be kept out of the reach of children.

-- United States Magistrate Judge Paul Cleary




Laughing Shadows Bead & Design: http://www.laughingshadows.com
Reply With Quote
  #132  
Old 02-13-2012, 08:30 AM
smkie's Avatar
smkie smkie is offline
pointer/labrador/terrier
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 54,671
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilavati View Post
All I can think, and I admit I have not watched the video . . . the man annoys me for some reason . . . is that one thing I am sure will not happen is that when that girl is 30, she will not say to her Dad, with a laugh as they sit around the dinner table at Thanksgiving: "Hey, remember the time you shot my laptop because I bad mouthed you?"

This will NOT be a good father daughter memory. Indeed, this is likely one of those things that even as an adult she's not likely to forgive him for. Its also the sort of thing that means that if she ever gets in REAL trouble . . . she may not turn to him for help . . .

Since I haven't watched more than a little bit of the video, I don't know what she said. But I really can't imagine anything she could have said that justifies this sort of escalation: not in the long term.

I also think that destroying the laptop, or even wiping it and giving it away, is too much. Take it away. Lock it up. Let her earn it back . . . but teenagers these days have real uses for computers (like school!). More than that, by making her earn it back, you provide a way to HEAL this . . . she apologizes, does her chores, she gets her laptop back, and life goes on.

Right now this strikes me as one of those ever escalating teen-parent dramas that mess up everyone's life.

That was Hyia, my grand girl's point. It was interesting watching the video with her and asking her opinion afterward. She is 12. i said she could use the one at the library but even I knew that was lame when I said it because the line at least at our library is very long.
__________________

Go Petie Go Go Who Go!

love comes in many directions with mary


Side by side on the sofa sat three annoyed dogs and one smug cat
and then in came a little white kitten,
Reply With Quote
  #133  
Old 02-13-2012, 08:49 AM
Lilavati's Avatar
Lilavati Lilavati is offline
Arbitrary and Capricious
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 7,643
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by smkie View Post
That was Hyia, my grand girl's point. It was interesting watching the video with her and asking her opinion afterward. She is 12. i said she could use the one at the library but even I knew that was lame when I said it because the line at least at our library is very long.
And try to write a term paper at the library. Some research, yes, a term paper . . .no.

Or do kids not have to write those anymore?
__________________
I'm a lawyer, but I'm not YOUR lawyer. Nothing I say should be taken as legal advice.

The Court's extensive review of these pages serves as a useful reminder that loaded guns, sharp objects and law degrees should be kept out of the reach of children.

-- United States Magistrate Judge Paul Cleary




Laughing Shadows Bead & Design: http://www.laughingshadows.com
Reply With Quote
  #134  
Old 02-13-2012, 08:53 AM
~Jessie~'s Avatar
~Jessie~ ~Jessie~ is offline
Chihuahua Power!
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 19,584
Default

My sister has her own laptop, and my parents have a family computer. She's been punished before and had the laptop taken away. She still had the family computer to do school work on- she just didn't have the freedom to use her laptop in her bedroom or where ever else she wanted to use it at.

What the dad did in this situation is something I would never do as a parent, but like Sparks said, sometimes you have to make things up as you go.

I would've been mortified if my dad did that to me... but a lot of kids are harder to get through to.
__________________

L to R: Chloe, Rylie, Emma, Tucker, and Rory
My Blog- Chihuahuas are not Sheep
Reply With Quote
  #135  
Old 02-13-2012, 09:09 AM
skittledoo's Avatar
skittledoo skittledoo is offline
Internet Warrior Ballz?!?
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 13,506
Default

On the topic of kids even having laptops/their own computers.... I might get my child their own computer when they go off to college, but they will not have their own computers to take in their room and use for whatever they want and whenever they want before they are 18. That's not to say they won't have access to a computer. We'll probably have a family computer set up that our kids can use for school work and stuff. If Josh has it his way we wont have a computer at all since he doesn't like computers lol. We had a family computer when I was growing up so that my parents could monitor what sites we browsed and how much time we were on them. We also didn't really have video games growing up so I never got into the whole video game thing thank goodness. We found other ways of entertainment.... Dodgeball/basketball with the neighbors, painting/drawing... Legos.... Omg I loved legos lol. My sisters played softball and I rode horses whenever I could. We were outside a lot riding bikes and climbing trees etc. Kids seem to rely too much on technogy these days for entertainment and a lot of them act like they are entitled to it. I've heard some horror stories about kids flipping out that their parents didn't buy them an iPad or some new $50-60 video game. It's ridiculous in my opinion.
__________________
Joey- Ibizan Hound
Cricket- Mexican Street dog (we think Xolo mix)
Bamm- BC mix
Not Named- Standard size coated Xoloitzcuintle
Reply With Quote
  #136  
Old 02-13-2012, 09:11 AM
Lilavati's Avatar
Lilavati Lilavati is offline
Arbitrary and Capricious
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 7,643
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Jessie~ View Post
My sister has her own laptop, and my parents have a family computer. She's been punished before and had the laptop taken away. She still had the family computer to do school work on- she just didn't have the freedom to use her laptop in her bedroom or where ever else she wanted to use it at.

What the dad did in this situation is something I would never do as a parent, but like Sparks said, sometimes you have to make things up as you go.

I would've been mortified if my dad did that to me... but a lot of kids are harder to get through to.
The question is what exactly did he get through to her . . . yes, she probably won't bad mouth him on Facebook again . . . but what else did she learn? And for that matter, did she learn the real reason why you don't? I know what *I* would have learned from this, and it probably isn't what this man wants to teach his daughter.

Yes, and the family probably does have a computer. Which she could use until she earns her own back. But I'm pretty sure no one in the family really wants her using the family computer to do all her school work for the next three years. And it sounds like your sister can get her computer back. I think taking the computer away is perfectly fine . . but destroying it or giving it to charity is over the top.

As to kids not really needing their own computer/shouldn't have one until college: I had my own from a fairly early age (this was pre-internet). For a while it was a dedicated word processor/typewriter. But perhaps it was because I went to private school, or took lots of writing classes . . . but I simply can't imagine having done all of my school work on a computer sitting in the middle of the living room. I mean, I suppose I COULD have, but it would have inconvenienced everyone in the household, would have denied me some quiet to think, and would have kept my parents from using it while I was working. Shrug. I see a computer as a tool. It can be a toy, but its also a crucial tool to be used work school/professional purposes. I also think there's a big difference between little kids and teenagers in terms of how much supervision they need.

But that's my take. I suppose if my kid was trouble, I'd give them a computer with no internet connection and nothing on it but Microsoft Office . . . or if they had a normal computer, take it away and make them use the family one . . . but only as a punishment. But making a kid (especially a teenager) sit in the living room and do their homework strikes me as . . well, annoying to me if nothing else, not to mention pretty much excessive unless they are being punished. (note, this assumes there is enough money for more than one computer).
__________________
I'm a lawyer, but I'm not YOUR lawyer. Nothing I say should be taken as legal advice.

The Court's extensive review of these pages serves as a useful reminder that loaded guns, sharp objects and law degrees should be kept out of the reach of children.

-- United States Magistrate Judge Paul Cleary




Laughing Shadows Bead & Design: http://www.laughingshadows.com
Reply With Quote
  #137  
Old 02-13-2012, 09:15 AM
~Jessie~'s Avatar
~Jessie~ ~Jessie~ is offline
Chihuahua Power!
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 19,584
Default

I had my own laptop from the time I was 14... which was really nice, and I'm not sure I'd do the same with my kids. I used mine mainly for writing- I went to a high school for the arts and "majored" in creative writing. My sister used the family computer a good bit for learning games (she was 4 at the time) so we didn't have to argue about switching off.

When I was in high school, social networking didn't even exist, though (now I feel so old, LOL!). We used AIM for chatting and the internet wasn't nearly as exciting. Myspace didn't even exist until I was a freshman in college.

There is SO much drama with FB and teenagers. My sister and her friends have done immature things on it, and then cried when retaliation came.
__________________

L to R: Chloe, Rylie, Emma, Tucker, and Rory
My Blog- Chihuahuas are not Sheep
Reply With Quote
  #138  
Old 02-13-2012, 09:16 AM
Jules's Avatar
Jules Jules is offline
Magic, motherf@%$*#!
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,157
Default

Also, it sends an awesome message to the girl about respecting someone else's property.
__________________
A dog is a miracle with paws.
T-Bone, CGC
Reply With Quote
  #139  
Old 02-13-2012, 09:21 AM
AliciaD's Avatar
AliciaD AliciaD is offline
On second thought...
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,559
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilavati View Post
All I can think, and I admit I have not watched the video . . . the man annoys me for some reason . . . is that one thing I am sure will not happen is that when that girl is 30, she will not say to her Dad, with a laugh as they sit around the dinner table at Thanksgiving: "Hey, remember the time you shot my laptop because I bad mouthed you?"
Well, to be fair, I doubt he will ever be laughing about the time she called him lazy and told him to get up off his @$$.

I think the worst part would be the public humiliation, but that wasn't his idea, and I don't think his intent. She took it online, and he responded online. I doubt he thought it would get quite as popular as it did.

I don't have a laptop, and I'm in college. I also didn't have a laptop for a good deal of time during high school. So, I can't really sympathize with her on that point. No laptop? Lade****ingda.

EDIT: I would never do this to my kid, but I can understand why the dad did it. This wasn't the first time she had badmouthed her family online, and she had been grounded for it before (so it wasn't like he shot the laptop on the first offense. she had been doing this, and he had been disciplining her in other ways, and she hadn't changed), she was rude about "the cleaning lady", and he had not only bought the laptop for her, but had just installed $130 worth of stuff on there.

I mean, if my dad gave me $130 and the next day I called him lazy, and said he worked me like a slave, and did this all in a very public way... Well, my dad would have hit me, but he would have yelled at me.

I can't be certain, because I can't watch it right now, but I noticed that he calls her out on her behavior, not her character. He says she did something stupid and childish, not that she is stupid and childish. It would have driven me crazy if I had noticed him berating her.

And I honestly think she will recover. My family has been through insane ****, where I have been on the receiving end of much worse than a lost laptop. My parents and I maintain a good relationship.
__________________

Signature by aadufield, on Flickr

Proud owner of Cameron, a Chow Chow mix, and Duncan, a http://www.chazhound.com/forums/t141489/.

Last edited by AliciaD; 02-13-2012 at 09:32 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #140  
Old 02-13-2012, 09:21 AM
~Jessie~'s Avatar
~Jessie~ ~Jessie~ is offline
Chihuahua Power!
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 19,584
Default

So you're grounded and had your laptop taken away and have to share the family computer? Not my problem. You can work your schedule around using it since you're the one who messed up and had your laptop taken away in the first place.

She could stay after school and use the computer lab, since she doesn't have a job. She can work out a schedule with her parents about using it from 6-8pm every night, etc. Chances are, her parents have their own laptops or tablets (as most people do), so I can't see it being a terrible thing to have to use the family computer.

If you use the computer your parents bought you to badmouth your family on FB, then I see nothing wrong with having it taken away (or destroyed, donated, whatever). Kids don't NEED their own laptops. It's a privilage and not a right.
__________________

L to R: Chloe, Rylie, Emma, Tucker, and Rory
My Blog- Chihuahuas are not Sheep
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:51 PM.


1997-2013 Chazhound Dog Site