Dog Site - Dog Stuff
Dog Forum | Dog Pictures

Go Back   Chazhound Dog Forum > Dog Forum News > The Fire Hydrant


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #111  
Old 02-11-2012, 01:45 PM
sillysally's Avatar
sillysally sillysally is offline
Obey the Toad.
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: A hole in the bottom of the sea.
Posts: 5,016
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmagick View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysally View Post
I think the reaction is due to people being fed up with wishy-washy, make endless excuses, be your kids best friend, be the cool parent, give your kids whatever they want, let them do whatever they wish on the internet without consequences (even though there will be in the real world), let your kids express themselves freely (which is not bad in itself) even if that means allowing them to run around a restaurant screaming and disturbing everyone else style of parenting that seems to be so popular. Pendulium swinging and all that.
I hear about this all the time but honestly, I have met very few of this type of parenting. I think it is often assumed parents are like that when they see the kids at a bratty moment (which happens to us all).
Well, I see it, and have seen it in my own family and friends. I have family in education who encounter it frequently too. When you let your toddler scream for 10+ minutes at a time in a restaurant repeatedly without even an attempt to remove them, let them run throughout a dining area harassing other diners without an attempt to rein them in, let them run around a horse barn, putting themselves and others at risk when the child (and you) have been repeatedly asked politely, then finally told not-so-politely to get control of them, you are either a very permissive or very lazy parent.
__________________

~Christina--Mom to:
Sally--8 yr old pit bull mix
Jack--6 yr old Labrador
Sadie & Runt--12 yr old calico DSHs
Pickles & Kiwi--3 yr old white winged parakeets
Yoda--1 yr old Quaker parrot
Solo--12 yr old Senegal parrot
Sheena--Quarter Horse--3/24/86-6/23/11--Rest Easy Sweet Girl~




Labs do it in the lake.



Last edited by eddieq; 02-11-2012 at 05:11 PM. Reason: Fixed quote tag
Reply With Quote
  #112  
Old 02-11-2012, 01:45 PM
Doberluv's Avatar
Doberluv Doberluv is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: western Wa
Posts: 21,914
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparks19 View Post
Well according to the family the daughter is alright and their family is in tact.

Good parenting or bad parenting aside... She obviously has parents who love her. A little embarassment isn't the end of the world.

When i was a kid and we actually hung out with ours friends in person at our homes.... My friends and i were often embarassed when we acted up in front of our friends and our parents gave us heck in front of our friends. No one wanted to get in trouble in front of their friends... It was embarassing but imagine that we all survived and grew up to be relatively normal functioning members of society and some people even still love their parents after it

No not the best moment of parenting ever but its really not THAT bad. My goodness
So true. Good point. But let's hope more situations will be set up to encourage more effective communication and not stop it. That's when real trouble can set in.
__________________
"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776





"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

Thomas Jefferson
Reply With Quote
  #113  
Old 02-11-2012, 01:59 PM
Tahla9999's Avatar
Tahla9999 Tahla9999 is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,104
Default



This could have been her in the future.

And lets not forget that they had grounded her and talk about this with her in the past and she still did the same thing. A lot of people say talking it out is the best option, and while that is sometimes true, other options should not be dismiss. Sometimes action speaks louder than words. This is an example of "tough love" and sometimes, it takes things being done to them that they have done to others before they really get it.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #114  
Old 02-11-2012, 02:09 PM
NicoleLJ's Avatar
NicoleLJ NicoleLJ is offline
PSD Partner
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,564
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tahla9999 View Post


This could have been her in the future.

And lets not forget that they had grounded her and talk about this with her in the past and she still did the same thing. A lot of people say talking it out is the best option, and while that is sometimes true, other options should not be dismiss. Sometimes action speaks louder than words. This is an example of "tough love" and sometimes, it takes things being done to them that they have done to others before they really get it.
Exactly what I was trying to get across. Good post
Reply With Quote
  #115  
Old 02-11-2012, 02:21 PM
Jules's Avatar
Jules Jules is offline
Magic, motherf@%$*#!
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,165
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysally View Post
I have come to the conclusion from reading YouTube comments (not just on this but lots of clips) that there are a lot of psychos out there that watch YouTube. I can have fairly dark thoughts sometimes, but I would be horrified if I even *thought* what some of these people write, much less post it publicly!
I
I also don't see shooting something as inherently violent (and this is coming from someone who does not own a gun), but then again I grew up in an area where people routinely shoot inanimate objects for fun, so maybe it's a cultural thing...
I don't have a problem with shooting inanimate objects... But it's not like he took her out back to shoot some bean cans in a friendly competition. Putting together an obvious angry father with a gun to make a point just doesn't sit right with me.

He said something about a stepmom. I wonder how much that might have to do with it. Anyway, he sure presented himself in a wonderful way. Love the cigarette, too. Real rolemodel material there. And then you wonder.
__________________
A dog is a miracle with paws.
T-Bone, CGC
Reply With Quote
  #116  
Old 02-11-2012, 02:24 PM
Greenmagick's Avatar
Greenmagick Greenmagick is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 3,061
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tahla9999 View Post


This could have been her in the future.

And lets not forget that they had grounded her and talk about this with her in the past and she still did the same thing. A lot of people say talking it out is the best option, and while that is sometimes true, other options should not be dismiss. Sometimes action speaks louder than words. This is an example of "tough love" and sometimes, it takes things being done to them that they have done to others before they really get it.
It couldve been...still could be as obviously the father still reacts publically.

MY point is not that what the daughter did should not have repurcussions. Its that reacting in the same childish manner is ridiculous.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #117  
Old 02-11-2012, 02:54 PM
Danefied's Avatar
Danefied Danefied is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Southeast
Posts: 1,722
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmagick View Post
Yep, and he also mentions he was on his own and out of the house at 15...so dont think it worked as well as he thinks.

Teens are reselient and kids naturally love their parents regardless of all the crap they do. Often, the "worse" the parents almost more fervent the children are later in life defending their parents actions.

I dont know anything about the relationship between these two. My assumption based on the video is that there is a severe lack of respect and communication...but I KNOW that is a total assumption and I fervently hope its wrong.

The video itself does not bother me near as much as all the people thinking its a GOOD example of how to parent. That is what hurts and devastates me. The father is acting like the immature brat he is ranting about. Is it a human failing to react...yep. I have often said and down things I later look back at and cringe...nobody is perfect and parenting is fraught with mistakes. HOwever, I do not understand how this total parenting mistake (IMO) is being hailed as some kind of parenting battle cry. That is what bothers me.

Not judging the dad, we've all been there. Just saying IMO he didn't handle that one very well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doberluv View Post
That's not good parenting either. Too bad the pendulum can't stop swinging wildly and rest somewhere in the middle with a little more common sense parenting; Consequences, reinforcement, alternatives, distractions and lots of love, little in life is free, in other words....earning the goodies, calmness and maturity.

It's the same thing a lot of people say about positive reinforcement training with dogs. "That is just being lenient." Same mistake. It doesn't have to be lenient. It shouldn't be lenient. But it should make good behavioral sense, which this didn't.
to you too

Reactivity is reactivity, and here I see a parent reacting to a kid's behavior, not proactively parenting the kid.

Do I totally get why he responded the way he did? Oh yeah, BTDT as far as feeling that way about a child's actions. However when we re-act to a child's behavior, who's really in charge of what's going on?

Same as with punishment with dogs, you never quite know for sure what association the kid is going to make. I know way too many kids who would take an incident like this and instead of learning "oh, better not humiliate mom and dad" will learn "to gain attention humiliate the one you love".
__________________
"We become better trainers by refusing to swallow uncritically what is tossed to us as truth,
by developing our powers of empathy and observation,
and by searching for better ways to teach and educate the dogs we love."
~Suzanne Clothier
Reply With Quote
  #118  
Old 02-11-2012, 03:06 PM
Paige's Avatar
Paige Paige is offline
Let it be
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,359
Default

[QUOTE=sillysally;1938286]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmagick View Post

Well, I see it, and have seen it in my own family and friends. I have family in education who encounter it frequently too. When you let your toddler scream for 10+ minutes at a time in a restaurant repeatedly without even an attempt to remove them, let them run throughout a dining area harassing other diners without an attempt to rein them in, let them run around a horse barn, putting themselves and others at risk when the child (and you) have been repeatedly asked politely, then finally told not-so-politely to get control of them, you are either a very permissive or very lazy parent.
This is a big reason why I still wear Briggs. He is non verbal at his age but gets frustrated and throws tantrums. He does not understand me speaking to him telling him "Briggs, if you don't calm down we are going to have to leave" and lets face it. Sometimes despite his tantrum I DO need to continue what we are doing. I can't just leave the grocery store when we need food. Calms him down, he isn't being disruptive and it makes everyone happy.
Reply With Quote
  #119  
Old 02-11-2012, 03:20 PM
Danefied's Avatar
Danefied Danefied is offline
Top Dog
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Southeast
Posts: 1,722
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paige View Post
This is a big reason why I still wear Briggs. He is non verbal at his age but gets frustrated and throws tantrums. He does not understand me speaking to him telling him "Briggs, if you don't calm down we are going to have to leave" and lets face it. Sometimes despite his tantrum I DO need to continue what we are doing. I can't just leave the grocery store when we need food. Calms him down, he isn't being disruptive and it makes everyone happy.
Don't you know you're spoiling that child picking him up like that all the time?

Mom was in the wilds of central america when my sis and I were babies. Poor mom was so conflicted, the locals told her to never let us cry, nurse on demand, and to carry us around in a sling. Meanwhile her mom and MIL were telling her that if we were dry and fed to ignore us if we cried, and that we'd never learn to walk if she carried us around so much. Funnily, the native kids seemed to learn how to walk just fine - so did we
__________________
"We become better trainers by refusing to swallow uncritically what is tossed to us as truth,
by developing our powers of empathy and observation,
and by searching for better ways to teach and educate the dogs we love."
~Suzanne Clothier
Reply With Quote
  #120  
Old 02-11-2012, 03:45 PM
cloudcandy's Avatar
cloudcandy cloudcandy is offline
Cloudcandy
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,086
Default

Briggs is cute!I'd carry him round all day with that smile!
__________________

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."
Lemony Snicket
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:34 AM.


1997-2013 Chazhound Dog Site