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  #21  
Old 07-14-2010, 01:51 PM
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The only time I would ask either of my kids for the test would be if there was an indication that they where doing it. NOW I might just have the test in the cupboard to scare the crap out of them in thinking I "might" randomly test them. If either one of my kids asked me to take the test, sure I would, I don't have anything to hide and they aren't going to find anything illegal in my pee.
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  #22  
Old 07-14-2010, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by sparks19 View Post
I don't think kids being on drugs has anything to do with a bad relationship with their parents.
Absolutely not - but we're discussing drugs testing - irrelevant of being ON drugs.

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there are lots of kids with good parent child relationships who get into drugs and most kids aren't going to be like "hey mom I'm going out to get high because I got a bad grade and I'm depressed" that's not saying their relationship has failed.
Sort of agree..... Sort of. The best relationships I have witnessed, kids ARE able to talk about those things though. In ideal relationships. MOST relationships - yes you're right. But I'd say there IS something to fix there IF (big if) you want PERFECTION. Which is usually impossible and unnecessary.
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  #23  
Old 07-14-2010, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Gypsydals View Post
The only time I would ask either of my kids for the test would be if there was an indication that they where doing it. NOW I might just have the test in the cupboard to scare the crap out of them in thinking I "might" randomly test them. If either one of my kids asked me to take the test, sure I would, I don't have anything to hide and they aren't going to find anything illegal in my pee.
haha that's a good idea. just keeping it around for a rainy day

yeah I feel the same way. If my child came up to me and genuinely wanted me to take a drug test or wanted me to take one if they had to take one I would do it. It's not that big a deal and proves that while I am the parent their concerns are still valid. and I think it might help with the "trust" issue.
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  #24  
Old 07-14-2010, 01:55 PM
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I'd laugh at them. My business as a parent is my own business.

Your children are your responsibility as a parent.

As a parent, you are their legal guardian and have the responsibility of raising them. Not the other way around.
See I can't agree with that at all!!

Trust is a two way street. Why trust someone who isn't willing to put their money where their mouth is? Being a parent doesn't automatically make you worthy of trust or obedience. Being a good parent does.
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  #25  
Old 07-14-2010, 01:58 PM
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My mom does trust me.
If I have done something to make her not trust me, in the future, if that will help her put her mind at ease, then go for it.
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  #26  
Old 07-14-2010, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by sparks19 View Post
well yes this is way out of line.

If I had a reason I'd bring the test home. if the test was negative then it's negative. I wouldn't keep pushing and pushing and pushing. but if there was really something wrong that made me want to do the test in the first place I might take her to the doctors first before bringing home a test.

I'd rather have my kid be mad at me then be DEAD because no one paid attention
And what if there was a false positive (not all that uncommon) would you let the child get retested...?
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  #27  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:03 PM
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I'm a very open and honest person, and drugs will be a topic of early conversation with my children. I want my kids to be the same way with me.


To trust is built on openness and honesty.

Having one without the other is just pointless....

So testing someone because you think they may be taking drugs is saying you don't trust them, and therefore you will make them really mistrust your openness and honesty with them....

It's a big hairy bumcrack no matter how you look at it.
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  #28  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
See I can't agree with that at all!!

Trust is a two way street. Why trust someone who isn't willing to put their money where their mouth is? Being a parent doesn't automatically make you worthy of trust or obedience. Being a good parent does.
The questions was, how would I feel if my child randomly came up to me and said: "Mom! Can you take a drug test?"

I seriously would laugh at them. There is no reason for my child to ask me to take a drug test.

Now, if I really was doing drugs I would hope my child/husband would stage an intervention or get me help. But if my kid randomly asked me to take a drug test without reason or cause I wouldn't do it.

Just like I would do the same thing with my child. I wouldn't drug test them WITHOUT reasonable cause, but the difference is if I handed them a test randomly they would be expected to do it because they are my child.

Like Sparks said, I'd rather my kid be mad at me rather than dead.

I am the adult. I am not taking a drug test because my kid requested me to.
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  #29  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:07 PM
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Well, they are my parents lol
I would feel a bit put off if for NO REASON at all my parents started drug/alcohol testing my every night.

Im a good kid. good grades, I always kept in touch with the parents, never got into trouble and was honest

my mom never had a problem with me drinking as long as it was done responsibly

but my mom raised me better than to do drugs. and I know the consequences in this house of doing them.
and if she had reason to believe that I was doing them and told me she wanted to test me, then I would. shes my mom, im living in HER house. her rules.

If for NO REASON she started testing me every night, looking through my room etc.. that is a breach of trust. I would be pissed.

but if she tested me one night, and i of course came back negative and she dropped it then well..whatever. thats that lol
if i came back positive, I know I would INSIST upon a retest.I would insist to be taken to a place to get it done again and I know my parents would let me.

I never gave my parents a need/reason to test me. but if one night they wanted to, i would of course be ok with taking the test.. I have nothing to hide.

they are my PARENTS. their house. their rules.

but a one time testing with reason to believe your kid is doing drugs is different from being CRAZY PARANOID and looking through their rooms, testing every time they move etc..

trust is a 2 way street in my opinion. treat me like a guilty criminal, and i'll start acting like one.
treat me like your child who has always been honest and upfront with you.. and I will continue to be honest and upfront with you.
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  #30  
Old 07-14-2010, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Dekka View Post
And what if there was a false positive (not all that uncommon) would you let the child get retested...?
would I let them? Of course I would let them.

if you mean would I make them... I'd think if a false positive showed up they'd want to know why themselves too.
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